Dreaming is Woe
by Rose Wilson
Summary: Near Christmas Eve. Robin experiences strange and personal memories and thoughts about another dark member of the team when he dreams. However, when he digs deeper into the truth of these dreams, he discovers something shocking. RobRae. Slightly AU.
1. Are You Dreaming of Me?

Teen Titans. Yay. Obviously I don't own the characters. Don't sue me. I will be very, VERY sad.

For those in the know, this story will be Robin/Raven and Slade/Raven. While it will start off PG-13, I assure you that it will get very dark and deserving of the R halfway into the fanfic.

This is also my first fanfic, ever. I used to be a Starfire/Robin shipper, so it'll probably show at parts.

Chapter 1: Are You Dreaming of Me?

"So, the meaning of Christmas is not presents and feasting, but love and understanding?" Starfire asked, on the edge of her seat. Cyborg and Beast Boy had recently showed Starfire one of the most lasting aspects of modern Christmasthe television specialsand she was glued to the TV. She hardly ever watched television, but it was inevitable.

"That's about right, Star." Cyborg replied, sipping from a glass of eggnog while easing back on the same couch. Beast Boy vaulted over the couch and landed between both, cracking open a can of root beer. "Sweet. KISS saves Christmas is on next!"

Starfire smiled widely. "I love this holiday more every year."

Though Robin was having trouble untangling the tree lights by himself while the others watched Christmas specials, he had to agree. It really was one of the better times of the year. Beast Boy calmed down considerably, Starfire was cuter than usual, and Cyborg's Christmas cooking was better than ever. He had even been gracious enough to cook Beast Boy that silly Tofurkey, though Robin wouldn't have gone as far as to eat it, himself. Still, one person who never really seemed to get into the holiday was...

"Raven! You come to help us decorate the tree?" Starfire called, sitting up. Raven had just entered the living room, the first time that the others saw her all evening. Robin immediately noticed that she looked rather sleepy, despite her unannounced nap. They, minus Raven, spent the first part of the day trying to hang lights on the outside of the tower. Of course, Beast Boy said that there was a show that he wanted to watch around lunchtime and took a break from it. They were supposed to continue work on that, but got distracted. Robin decided to get the tree and the ornaments together while they were idling, but it was getting dark.

Raven's eyes slowly moved to the three couch potatoes, then to Robin, who was straightening out the lights and tinsel from last year. He hadn't even assembled the artificial tree yet. She dryly said, "It looks like Robin is doing everything."

"Not everything. He's just going to fix the lights and assemble the tree and hook up the train tracks and glue the ornaments back together and... um..." Beast Boy suddenly sounded a little chagrined.

"But I will tell you this. The angel. We totally got that." Cyborg interjected, trying to save face.

Raven held back a sigh and looked between her friends. Why even bother with the pretense of Christmas spirit if only a small amount of people actually do the work? She was about to go to the kitchen and grab a Swiss roll when she noticed Robin looking up at her. "Oh, hey, Raven... want to help?"

Raven paused for a split second. She normally turned down her friends' attempts to include her in activities like this, especially when they weren't really interested, but something about Robin asking it made her change her mind. "Sure." She looked at the tree parts and after making an educated guess where they went, levitated all of the pieces off the air and assembled it within seconds with her powers.

Robin rubbed the back of his head, seeing how fast it went. He was hoping that she'd choose to do it the regular way, just as a way to include her. "Thanks, Raven."

Raven indeed sensed the disappointment in his voice, but merely shrugged. "We can't just leave that out all day."

"Look, we're going to help as SOON as a very Thundercats Christmas ends." Beast Boy half-promised.

Robin shook his head. It was only a few days before Christmas Eve and Robin was getting very tired of looking at an empty living room. He was going to decorate with or without the Titans help. Argh, if only Starfire didn't get hooked on television marathons; he could usually count on her help on motivating the others for tasks like this. Though it was pretty much hopeless, he looked at Raven again, who had went into the kitchen for the cake roll.

Robin smiled to himself. After they threw her that second birthday party on the day Slade came back, it turned out that she had quite the sweet tooth. She originally ate the first bowl of ice cream, per her own suggestion, just to be polite, but was on her fourth bowl before they decided to call it quits for the night. Robin swore that he noticed the supply of sweet junk food in the Tower rapidly going down. It made him feel a little happy to know such a thing; Raven rarely gave away secrets to what she likely. He then noticed that Raven was looking at him expectantly and realized that he had a blank look on his face.

"Were you going to say something?" she asked.

Robin undid one of the last knots, then coiling up the lights properly to put up later. "I was going to ask for more help, yeah."

"How come? Getting excited over putting glass and lights a tree seems pointless to begin with."

Robin thought that her voice sounded even more gloomy, but dismissed it. He was probably already seeming too much of a meddler as it is. "Well... we've still done it every year. It's sort of our thing. Pretty much everyone does."

Robin found himself glancing off to the couch the others were on. They were still engrossed in the show and weren't really paying attention to their conversation. Raven looked, too, and shook her head. "If no one else cares, I definitely don't. See you tomorrow."

Cyborg looked as though he was about to get out of his cushion, but just shifted his spot. "Well, you going to the Christmas party on Thursday?"

"Still no." she said, leaving the living room with another snack in hand. She went back to her room for the night.

Robin felt an unpleasant surge of emotion go through his body. No wonder why Starfire got so upset when they didn't realize that it was Friendship Day. He tried to work on another strand of lights, but just didn't have the heart. Forget this. He dropped a half-done coil to the ground and got to his feet, heading for his room room. "Thanks a lot for the help, guys." he growled on the way out.

Robin crawled into the covers. Though it was only eight-thirty, he really didn't have a reason to be up. He had to get at least 4 hours of sleep a night and if there was the usual one-o'-clock trouble call, he'd be rested. But after the lights went out, he found that he couldn't sleep. Robin had no idea why he felt so disappointed. Raven was right. Decorating a tree was silly and arbitrary and they had grown out of that by now.

Still, it was just something that he looked forward to. Their tree always looked extremely odd, but he had a curious sense of pride in how unique it was. Robin loved the multicolored lights and the train set at the bottom. Starfire's ornaments would have a weird combination of baked ornaments and extremely complicated crystal ones, Cyborg would always rig up a few electronic ones, Beast Boy would sneak in something inappropriate like Halloween decorations, and Raven would put the little gothic angel on top when they were done.

He was looking forward to that. His mentor's always decorated the manor on the outside, but inside it might as well not have even been Christmas. He'd never even had their own Christmas tree until they joined the Titans. Robin wasn't a very sentimental person, but he did really look forward to that.

Robin's frustration turned to guilt as he thought about Raven and Starfire. Christmas was new to Starfire, having only celebrated one before, but he doubted that, like him, Raven ever participated in one before there were the Titans. He felt like he owed it to them, Raven especially. She seemed a lot more somber for the past few days. Everyone had noticed her change in behavior; superficially, it seemed for the better.

She was listening to Starfire and Beast Boy for longer lengths of time, she spent more time with Cyborg and that T-Car and was less biting with her sarcasm. The other Titans had hinted or outright stated that they noticed and liked the change in Raven's behavior. Robin turned to his other side to see the alarm clock. 9:46. So maybe he wasn't all that tired.

Robin rolled on his side. He was unsure how he felt. Again, he was probably imagining things, but he wondered whether she was acting like this because she was scared and didn't want the others to notice. Or maybe Raven did change after seeing Slade, and he was just jealous. While she did spend a lot more time with the other Titans, Robin felt like she was avoiding him specifically.

He felt a little sad thinking about it. They hardly talked at all since her birthday, let alone done anything together. Raven even played video games with Cyborg and Beast Boy (excluding that glue on the controller thing). He just couldn't understand it. And now for the last several days, she seemed to be withdrawing again. She participated less in group activities, hung out in her room more, and gave terse replies to everyone. Twice she never came out except to eat.

Robin found himself being rather obsessed with the idea of wanting to spend a little time with her. He wanted to get to know his teammate better. Not just for the 'keeping the team at maximum combat efficiency' and crap during the time when he was obsessed with Slade. He couldn't even really give a reason, he discovered. He just wanted to get closer to Raven. Maybe that was the reason he was getting down about the tree.

It didn't really matter. They would change their minds tomorrow. He was sure of it. The Boy Wonder turned out the lamp on his bedstand to the ceiling and stared at the ceiling. The last thing he felt before he drifted off was the sensation of falling into a sleep much deeper than he usually felt.

Robin was not a lucid dreamer. He knew it. On the times when he did dream, he usually had no control over where the dream was going and so acted 'naturally' in his dream. Thus is was a mild shock to him to realize that he could think and evaluate what he was doing without waking up.

Robin was aware of this self-recognition on the tail end of one dream. Disgusting green and yellow coloured socks were being pitched across the hall. Beast Boy was gleefully screaming something about being owned... and he could swear that he heard Raven... giggling? Oh, yes. Robin remembered this game. They invented it a few days before Raven learned those dark magics. Stankball ("You gotta ANK when you said it." he mentally heard Cyborg correct him), that gross game Cyborg and BB invented. Raven floated another stinky wad of socks off of the floor and pitched them at Beast Boy, who turned into a rat to dodge it. It went sailing over him and into the living room...

Hitting Robin right in the face. Robin felt very strange looking at himself outside his own body. Still, Spirit Robin let out a silenced chuckle when he saw the horrified look on his face. Robin let the ball of dirty laundry slide off of his face, looking between Cyborg and Beast Boy. "Did... did you two just throw your soiled underpants at my head?" Robin squeaked. He was too shocked to make his voice sound intimidating.

Cyborg immediately held up his hands in a 'please don't kill me gesture'. "Hey, whoa man, that's SO Raven."

Robin looked at Raven. He wasn't going to believe that SHE played in this game, ever. He could see Starfire participating with a bit of convincing, but Raven? But the mortified look on her face confirmed it. She pulled her hood up and slipped back into the room without a word.

Robin wriggled his nose. He didn't see that side to her. He felt that he was ruining something special. "Sorry for interrupting your game, guys." Robin murmured.

Beast Boy reverted back and his eyebrows raised incredibly high. Not only did their leader not blow a fuse, he was apologizing. Beast Boy stammered for a second, "No, uh, it's okay. It was really awesome seeing Raven blush."

Robin rubbed the back of his head in confusion. "Well, if you say so. Ugh. I'll be in the... shower."

That part of the dream ended and all was dark. Though the landscape was already reforming again. Instead of the Tower, Robin found himself materializing in the courtyard of an expensive boarding school. It looked like an old Victorian building, with ominous busts of benefactors, pictures of 19th century upper class British life, and electric lights done to look like oil lamps. It was obviously winter time. A few sparse decorations of tinsel and classroom drawings of Christmas made the time of year clear. Two prim and properly dressed schoolgirls were shuffling down the halls, whispering to each other while looking out the windows. Robin couldn't see what was outside.

A pretty, but snobbish-looking teenage girl, about 14 or 15, asked the girl next to her, "Did you hear that the Boy Wonder is coming to our school this afternoon?"

Robin felt his spine twitch at the other's squeal. "Yes! I can't want to see him. I am so going to ask him out if he looks at me."

The snobby-looking one rolled her eyes. He realized that her voice sounded alarmingly like Kitten's. "He's rich. Your family only owns four dealerships. He wouldn't give you the time of day."

Her friend looked a little hurt. "Well, he's been coming every day to talk to creepy Raven of all people. Why wouldn't I have a chance? Oh, look, there he comes: hiiiii, Robin!"

Robin looked at himself, when he was two years younger. Back then, his costume didn't have the tights so his legs were exposed. Beast Boy's constant teasing caused him to change his mind. He was with a matronly-looking schoolteacher with a younger Beast Boy walking along with him. Robin congratulated himself when his younger self casually ignored the two. Ugh. He hated people like that. He remembered what this place was: back when he was trying to form the Teen Titans, he was looking practically anywhere for young superheroes. This was the boarding school Raven was at before she joined the team.

Robin found himself floating behind the teacher. "We've just about finished processing Raven out. We're very glad that you're taking her out of this school, Robin." She paused, as if she had said something unkind, then added, "I'm sorry. But truthfully, she hasn't integrated very well. She's well behaved and gets very good grades... but she doesn't have any friends, the girls tease her, and she shows no interest in doing anything but reading."

Robin saw his younger self look very uncomfortable. He didn't like talking about another person, especially a young teen, as if they were some sort of criminal profile. He adjusted the package underneath his arm and replied, "That's... fine, Miss Smith. We'll be her friends." Beast Boy muttered something under his breath, looking more apprehensive as they went outside. Robin followed them to the courtyard.

Since it was recess, most of the girls were outside, dressed in heavy coats and gloves and playing in the snow. In the middle of the courtyard was a towering Christmas tree, with lights and Christmas decorations nearly completely covering it.

Even though Raven was trying not to stand out, she looked very conspicuous. Her winter clothes looked plain yet very dark, in contrast to the cosmopolitan things the other girls wore. Her deathly pale skin and unusually mature expression made her stand out. She was sitting on a stone bench, a book in hand. Robin couldn't read it, but it looked very thick and advanced for someone her age.

"Hey, Raven." Young Robin chirped, advancing towards her. Beast Boy and the teacher stopped coming any closer to Raven. She tilted her head up towards Robin, giving him a casing, pensive look rather than a greeting in return.

Robin remembered this. The girl that everyone overlooked and/or was vaguely afraid of. He remembered Beast Boy protesting about his decision. ("Dude, don't pick her! She's creepy and stuck up! No one at the school likes her, not even the teachers.") He was glad that he ignored Beast Boy and Starfire's advice now, but back then he wasn't so certain. But after seeing Raven, there was just some part of him that didn't want to give up on the poor girl. Just some part that wanted to reach out to her.

He watched himself approach Raven with the present. "Here, um, I got this for you. A little Christmas gift."

The young half-demon gave Robin a suspicious look but took it and opened it. Robin found himself enchanted by her expression as she saw the gift.

It was a little angel, to put on a Christmas tree. But instead of the usual motherly, matronly angels most people put on, this angel looked rather grotesque. She had stringy black hair that reached down to the middle of her back, tattered grey wings, and red eyes. Instead of in a flowing dress, she was in a dark red corset with a tattered skirt of the same color attached to it. Nonetheless, the creature was unmistakably an angel. Despite her sad state of dress, she still looked gentle.

"I just thought that you'd... like it." Young Robin explained while Raven was silently staring at the gift. Her face seemed to quiver, then falter, revealing the girl's true expression. Her lips curled into the fainted hint of a smile and her pretty amethyest eyes widened. But the blush that encompassed her face was most revealing. She tried to surpress it, but to the two's growing embarrassment she couldn't, until there was a loud, wet crunch behind him, followed by the breaking of glass.

Everyone faced the middle of the courtyard. The Christmas tree had snapped right at the trunk and had fallen over, landing right through the window. Everyone except for Robin and Beast Boy silently shot Raven an accusatory look, which caused her to cringe. Beast Boy looked distressed. Raven stood quickly off of the bench and clutched the angel to her chest, running back into the building.

The landscape and people faded again. Robin found himself in darkness, though he discovered he could now see himself. He was back in his body, for a least this part of the dream. He could see stars form, then meteors, then entire nebulas. However, this place seemed tinted with a little too much red space dust. It made the entire world seem dark and forboding. As rocks drifted towards him, he could feel himself gravitating closer and closer towards some sort of ground. He landed on a rock, feeling nothing like he was falling.

Robin glanced around him. There were stripped trees all about and piles of rocking lying everywhere. Robin looked upwards as he heard the flapping of wings. Tiny black birds perched on the the branches. When he saw that the birds were eyeing him unerringly with their excessively large, glowing red eyes, he felt a cold thrill run through his body. He saw the ravens eye him hungrily, beginning to gather. Robin reached for his utility belt, to pull out his collapsable bo staff. He stopped when he saw a figure emerge from behind a scrub. The blackbirds seemed to flinch away.

"Raven?" Robin asked, still on guard. The person stepping into view looked exactly like Raven, except for the cloak: it was a very light shade of grey. The Raven gave Robin such an openly sad look at he felt alarmed. He took a step backwards. She sighed, and said in a depressed voice, "He's already flinching. There's no way he could..."

Robin bumped into someone behind him. He whirled around to see who it was. Another Raven was standing behind him, with a dark green cloak. Her hands were akimbo on her hips and she was eyeing Robin with thinly veiled disgust. "Look, you silly boy. Can't you see it? It's so obvious."

He heard the voice of another Raven. She had on a cloak of light green and had a nasty 'what sort of little man is this' expression on his face. "See? I told you. She's completely wasting her time. He doesn't even have a clue."

The aggressive-looking Raven shoved him a little forward. Robin was still speechless. A Raven in a yellow cloak with a wordly look and giant nerd glasses held up a finger. "It is ninety-seven point three percent certain that Robin on some level knows what we are talking about. Unfortunately, the insecurity and isolation of both subjects makes it rather hard for them to entertain, let alone acknowledge such emotions. But they are there."

Robin raised an eyebrow at the intelligent Raven. "And what feelings are those?"

Two Ravens in pink robes of similar hue floated by on a rock. One had a leering expression on her face and the other was blushing and giggling. They said, in a sing-song voice, "Raven loves Robin! Raven loves Robin! Raven loves Robin..."

Robin froze in place, looking between all of the others. "What?" A giant horde of Ravens had gathered in such a small spot, circling him.

Cynicism rolled her eyes again. "See? I told you he didn't know. Or doesn't even care."

Courage jabbed a finger in Cynicism's direction. "We're tired of listening to you! You and Pity can stick it up in ear."

Knowledge pushed up her glasses again, placing a hand on Robin's shoulder. "I know the dream confrontation is a rather hackneyed and painfully obvious device. I would have wrotten a graduate thesis on my feelings of affection for you, myself, since you seem like the fellow who can appreciate a good dissertation on why I am totally gonzo for you. However..."

Serenity smiled sadly at Robin. "Someone else wants Raven. She doesn't want you to get involved. If you'll notice, Joy, Lust, Rage, Hatred, Sorrow and a few others aren't here. They're talking with someone."

Temperance said, "He's really scary. He wants to do something terrible to her but she can't tell anyone or he'll make it worse."

Timidity murmured, "Plus, she's embarrassed to tell you."

Cynicism held up a hand. "I don't know why you're even bothering. He won't do anything. He'll probably just dismiss this as a weird dream. Raven doesn't even know we're out here."

Courage growled deeply. "I know Robin will be able to do something! Robin would never ignore a friend in need. That's why we like him!"

Immaturity and Bashfulness floated by again, "Raven loves Robin! Raven loves Robin..."

Robin's eyes flickered open. His body felt light as a feather, but his mind felt really fuzzy. He got to his feet and squinted to see the alarm. Ten thirty. Great. He overslept way in excess of what he normally did. He crawled out of his uniform and picked up a towel and a loufa, ready to take a morning shower. He found his steps growing apprehensive as he thought about his dream; another thing he hadn't done in years.

It was a defense mechanism, just something that he picked up after fighting criminals with Batman. Though non-superpowered, they were freaky and nightmarish and did horrible things. Robin would never be able to get a decent sleep if he let himself be effected by the thoughts. So he just pushed them out. Still, his detective memory went through the dream, trying to analyze it. He vaguely remembered his usual set of dreams, about riding on the R-Cycle with Starfire flying behind, laughing or taking down the villain of the week, but the last three he recalled with perfect clarity.

Robin stepped into the shower, feeling the hot water strike his body. Perhaps that is why he felt so upset when Raven didn't want to decorate the tree. To his dismay, he didn't really remember giving her that angel up until now. Still, it felt more like Raven's memory than his. Robin felt like an observer the entire time.

And then the deal with the Ravens. He realized that they were emotions halfway in. Robin felt both shame and joy as he thought about it. Shame because, well, even though they hadn't made it official, it was really obvious that Starfire liked him. As in liked him liked him. He liked her in that way, too. And he was definitely getting more serious about that. They shared their first kiss less than a month ago after a date at the movies. He felt that dreaming about how Raven was his secret admirer was in some way being unfaithful.

The shame also came from imagining Raven in that way. There was no way she'd think of him more than a friend. Thinking about her harboring some sort of secret crush felt disrespectful and embarrassing. It was like imagining her... well... doing naughty things to herself. Robin felt himself grimace at the euphemism; he was never the sort to shy away from the truthwhat had gotten into him. Besides, he thought, changing the subject, she was avoiding him.

Still, what if she DID really somehow secretly like Robin? The thought filled him with a bit of jealous pride. He liked the idea of someone as reticent and unromantic as her having a crush on him. The rational part of his brain told him to perish such thoughts, that he was just being arrogant. The emotional side of Robin wasn't listening, however, like he usually did.

What about her birthday when Slade showed up? She showed a surprising amount of intimacy towards him. She picked him over everyone else to tell her secret and to protect her. That had to be something more than just being the leader. Anyone was in a better position to protect her from Slade. He winced from the memory at how she had to end up saving him.

Though he had promised Batman never to take another's life, no matter how evil, he was ready to kill that man without hesitation. He broke Slade's neck repeatedly. Slade somehow survived, though, and Raven rescued him carried him into the church after Slade nearly killed him in return with fire. Robin could not forget the sorrow in her eyes as she told him the truth. He remembered catching Raven after Slade had practically stripped her nakedshe didn't seem humiliated at all, even though they never spoke of what happened.

Needless to say, Robin had a lot to think about for today. First, though, he'd confront Raven. 


	2. Amative Nightmares

Author's Notes

**OOOOO**

Thanks for reviewing and reading my little fanfic. Raven/Robin, so if you don't like the pairing then you should really read something else. I suggest The Problem With Orange, which is in my Favorites. Very cute Starfire story. Before we continue, you should know three things.

1) In the first fanfic, I hinted that Robin was Dick Grayson. Well, when coming up with dream sequences, I realized that I knew Timothy Drake's background a lot more than Dick's. So I'm using his experiences as a template. I'm not editting the original sentence, though, unless it really ticks people off. But Robin is Tim Drake. Not because I have anything against Dick, because Nightwing is awesome.

2) I dislike swearing and I also dislike violence that's not cartoony. The R rating is almost exclusively for sexual content.

3) The very last dream sequence is where things get dark. Not violently dark, but it does get quite angsty. It has a subtext of Slade/Raven, but I intentionally cut the sequence. It's also non-consensual, too. I don't know how much this sort of thing squicks you readers, so if for some reason that you want more detail then tell me. If you want less, tell me, too.

I don't own the characters, and that's probably a good thing. Otherwise there would be a lot of scarred little kids. Please review. I really want to know if I should go into more explicitness with the scenes or less. I like writing squishy, sexy scenes but I also don't like scaring readers.

Anyway, on with the show.

**OOOOO**

**Chapter 2: Amative Nightmares**

Robin was in Cyborg's garage, helping him work on their Christmas present. Fixing the B-Ped. Beast Boy, while upset about losing his moped, had given up on the idea of getting one again anytime soon. This was one of Robin's top secret projects, as Cyborg and Starfire's presents had already been picked out. He even threw Beast Boy off the trail by hinting that he was grabbing him the Mega Monkey anthology and leaving the package out, unwrapped, underneath his bed. Robin finished cleaning out the electric motor with a rag, looking at Cyborg.

"Cy. Have you ever wanted to really ask someone something and you know that if you put it off things will only get worse but you can't anyway?" Robin mentally slapped himself upside the head at the word salad. Real subtle.

Earlier, he vowed that he was going to confront Raven right away about the dreams. His determination completely faded to jelly as soon as he put on a fresh uniform, showered, and went out into the hallway. Robin immediately knew that he was going to put this off. So he might as well do some useful things today.

Cyborg looked at Robin seriously and then a smile came to his face. "Oh, I see what this is about. Robin... believe it or not, it's been real obvious to everyone in the tower."

Robin felt a little shocked, but grateful. "Really?"

He nodded deeply, his red eye flashing. "You want to ask Starfire out on a date. Yeah, it's on your face like crazy."

"That's... that's exactly it. I am having trouble asking Starfire out. But now that everyone's thinking it, it is a lot easier." Robin intoned. He hoped that his robotic tone would indicate that he was being sarcastic, but no dice. He spent the next hour with Cyborg trying to nudge him into saying more juicy stuff about Starfire.

So much for that.

"Hello, there, Robin. Would you like to join Silkie and I for a stroll around the tower?" Starfire had the silkworm in a baby buggie and with a bonnet on its head. To his surprise, he found himself saying yes. To his further amazement, he found himself having a very intelligent conversation with Starfire about the relationship and similarities of X'harian metaphysics to Earth ones.

"So it is our sincere belief that we are immortal. Even if there was no afterlife, at the purest scientific we would be born again when the exact arrangement of what you call DNA comes into being again, creating you again."

"That sounds a lot like reincarnation, only it's into the same form." Robin said. He shook a rattle in front of Silkie's face, trying to amuse it. "That's a little depressing. If you're born evil or sad you will be cursed to be the same way forever."

"Yes, unless circumstances in your different life create you otherwise. Perhaps in the future we will find a way to stop this predestination by altering the 'DNA'."

"But if you can alter your DNA and still be the same person, then why can't you be reincarnated into someone with totally different DNA and still be you?"

Starfire hesitated. "It... um... that is a good point. Robin, you should not attend any debate on X'harian metaphysics. You would be filled with Starbolts until you exploded." Robin couldn't help but grin. She could make anything sound adorable.

The conversation only got more surreal from there. After Silkie had been put to bed, Robin bumped into Beast Boy, who was strolling through the hallways as a green St. Benard. "Hey, BB."

Beast Boy changed back, giving Robin's a thumbs up. "Hey." He resumed his pensive expression and changed into a utahraptor, circling around the hallway. Robin placed a hand on his shoulder. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing much. Just trying to think of animal forms. Cyborg said that I didn't have anything really useful other than a bat, some dinosaurs, a gorilla, and a squid so I'm trying to prove him wrong."

Robin smirked. "You know, Beast Boy, you HAVE been a little limited in your forms."

Beast Boy looked crestfallen. "Aw. You think I'm a one trick pony."

"Not exactly... I think that you just need to expand your list a little. C'mon."

"Uh, where we going, Robin?"

"We're going to go study for a little bit."

Beast Boy immediately looked as though he was going to run away, but for some reason didn't. "Oh, that's right. I'm supposed to, er." He clasped his hands over his mouth, then let them go. "Well, let's go study."

**OOOOO**

The study room was to be Robin's attempt to make a separate game room than the living room, but after a week of it realized that there was a good chance of him or the girls not seeing Cyborg and/or Beast Boy all day. So after having an empty room for a while, he moved his work materials out of his bedroom into here, at Starfire's urging; she insisted that the physical distance of the study from his bedroom would prevent him from getting immersed in work. It didn't, but gave Robin his own inviolate place in the tower. She and Beast Boy went into his room pretty much as they felt, like the time he caught them wearing his outfits, but the study was sacred.

Robin and Beast Boy spent all morning going through the computer and encyclopedia for animals, looking for buried treasure; none of the creatures were really all that new to Robin, but they hadn't crossed the changeling's mind. A dinosaur that could crack its tail to create a sonic boom and a bird that flew, instead of dived, at a hundred miles per hour were two of his favorites.

"'... and the Japanese spider crab. Biggest crab in the world.' But it still has predators." Beast Boy murmured, tearing the page out of the encyclopedia anyway.

"But your animal forms are stronger than the actual animal; like how your pterodactyl can pick up Cyborg."

"I know, you don't have to keep reminding me." Beast Boy said, closing the volume. "That's it for 'C'. Let's try something harder!"

"Harder, eh?" Robin mused as he picked a book from the shelf, one of Starfire's: The Beasts of Tameran. While they were visiting her home planet to stop a wedding, Beast Boy accidentally turned into an animal on that planet; maybe they could replicate it here? Beast came into the room within a couple of minutes, hiking up his pants. "There we go. Time to super cram!"

Going meticulously through the book for more than an hour, they found out that Beast Boy was only able to imitate three or four of the creatures, and even then he didn't stay long in a form. However, just when Robin was about to give up and try more traditional animals, Beast Boy found that he was able to take hold of a green-speckled Sherlock, a disgusting yet cute-looking animal that looked like a cross between a cow and a helicopter. Beast Boy made a weird, obscure murmuring sound, floating across the room with his tentacles dangling.

"Nice work. Hey, let's go to the gym and try that." Robin suggested.

Beast Boy reverted to his original body, landing on the table. "Cool, but, um... let's try a few more, first."

"But I already got a list of regular Earthling animals, too. You really don't need me for awhile; I'm gonna check on Cyborg real fast."

"No, wait, dude, I like, need you to help me study. I want to study but my mind wanders, you know?"

If Robin suspected something was amiss, he didn't let his face give it away. He sat back down in the chair. "I see. Well, which book do you want to try now?"

They were going through a book on rainforest creatures when Robin noticed Beast Boy not paying attention. Well, his mind did wander quite a bit when they were reading 'The Expert's Guide to Eukaryotes', but this time he looked like he wanted to say something.

"... you know what, Robin? This is going to sound a little dorky, but..."

Robin looked up from his notes, his eyes on the other teen. "What's up?"

Beast Boy grinned cheesily, but earnestly. "No one's said it, so, uh, I guess I'm the first, but, just... thanks. Thanks for this and the last few weeks. You and Raven have been cool to us lately. Like, really cool."

"Well, gee, thanks, but..."

"Don't be so modest, man. I mean it. Like, except for the whole werewolf thing. Which you also even apologized for. You've been real nice and laid back. Like, hanging out with us more, not being so uptight. Even laughing with us for wearing your uniform. That kinda took us by surprise. You know."

Robin merely shrugged. "I guess. You've matured quite a bit yourself since, well..."

"Terra?"

"Yeah." Robin looked towards the door to his study. It was closed and he didn't expect anyone to bust in, but he wanted this conversation to stay within the study. Beast Boy instantly recognized his intention. "BB, you said 'You and Raven'."

His grin faded into only a hint of one. "Yeah, she's been a lot nicer, too." His smile faltered. "But. Um. Did you two have a fight or something? I see you guys hardly ever do anything; which is weird, since you probably share the most interests with her."

Robin rubbed the back of his head, unknowingly imitating Beast Boy's gesture. Truthfully, Robin didn't know whether she did or not. As far as her interests, he knew that she liked to read Victorian and early 20th century books. Raven liked classical music. He was positive that she liked tabletop roleplaying at one point, as she and Cyborg used to play. She probably had some sort of passing interest in cars. Disliked most kinds of movies except for documentaries and fantasy movies. Nothing like Starfire, who was very eager to give almost anything a try and appeared to like almost everything he did. Though he wondered sometimes.

"Hellloooo...? Earth to Robin?" Beast Boy waved his hand in front of the Boy Wonder's face; the latter had been spacing out. "See, that's what you've been doing lately when she's been around."

Robin knew that his voice was going to sound snippy, so tried to balance it out by making it quiet. "Sorry. I've just been worrying about her. Since that day Slade came back."

"You're not the only one. What happened? We run out of the totalled factory after Slade bounced and we see you and Raven outside, with long hair and half- naked and whatnot." At Raven's request, Robin didn't tell the others about Slade or the brandings on her body and just dismissed them. Though he could tell that even after three months, they were still curious. Beast Boy suddenly had a leering look on his face. "Oh, dude. Is it what I think it is? Starfire's going to kill you."

Robin knitted his brow together. "Of course not."

"Well, what's up, then? I swear I won't tell anyone. Pinky swear."

Robin crossed his arms about his chest. "I really wish I knew. Honestly. Not just as a leader." He felt his voice crack the smallest amount. "I don't know what it is. But, I've been realizing. Raven means a lot to me. I want to do something with her. Or for her. I dunno."

Beast Boy looked at his friend for the longest time. He had a genuinely concerned look on his face. "... I was just kidding earlier, but, do you mean like, romantically?"

A deeper furrowing of the brow. The changeling wondered if he had strayed somewhere where he wasn't supposed to go. "I'm sorry."

Robin's expression softened. "Don't be. That's an honest question." He paused for a long time, and then said, "I don't know. And I don't say that just because Starfire has a thing for me and I do for her, too. I can't give a good answer. It's not fair to her or Starfire, but it'd depend on how Raven felt."

"I... wait, what? Why should that mean anything? Like, I liked, maybe even had verrrry serious feelings for Terra even before who she was and how she felt. ... I still do. So how..."

"You have to understand. I've been having these dreams. For the last 8 days, they've all involved some detail about me being Robin or some moment I shared with Raven. Just standard stuff. Except that I normally don't dream... and they've been vivid recent. Like last night, I was completely aware I was within a dream and could even move around and think."

Beast Boy still looked confused, so Robin, under strictest confidence, told him about last night. About the stankball memory, about how they invited her to the team, about the Ravens. At the mention of the many-coloured Ravens, Beast Boy's mouth hung open. And he avoided doing so just at the whole surreality of Robin opening up, or with trusting him so much that he'd share personal thoughts, but this took the cake.

"Robin. That TOTALLY sounds like what happened to me and Cy that one time we went in Raven's room when you told me to apologize and she wasn't there so we looked into her soul mirror." he explained, almost stunned. "Did we ever tell you where we went...?"

Robin shook his head. "You guys never did. You just said that you were getting to know each other better."

'That guy has one good poker face.' Beast Boy thought. "You know what, Robin? I don't think that was your dream. At all. Like, you must have been looking into her mind or something." He waggled a finger. "You better do something about it, before you see something so scary that you, um, become old."

"I thought about that, too. But I wasn't sure. I'm positive now."

"Robin, I think she likes you. Like, a lot. You should talk to her right now. Dude! Wait until," Beast Boy froze. "Well, I mean, not right now right now. As in the next thing you do in a few minutes from now. Because. Um." He was steepling his fingers when both heard a knock at the door.

"Robin." came Cyborg's voice. "Get out here into the living room. You really should see this."

"Heh. Nevermind. Let's see what Cyborg wants, shall we?" Beast Boy sheepishly said, going out.

Robin didn't leave right away. He thought about what was said. He never expected THIS to come from the bond. Maybe she didn't like him in that way, but it did make him feel happy he was on her mind a lot. He felt his shoulders become lighter; no wonder why Raven was avoiding him so much. It made sense. With this thought in his head, he went to go see what the two guys wanted to show him. Probably to hint at some new toy they wanted. And he was feeling so much better that he'd probably buy it for them.

**OOOOO**

He couldn't believe it. His friends had decorated the room. It was later than they usually did, but they decorated like they did the other years. And not just the usual tree and bowl of candy canes. Stockings for each of the Titans. A yuletide log in the never-used fireplace. Extra lights strung around. They had gotten rid of the fake pine tree and had a real one put in (Robin noted the gigantic pot it was in and the removed floor plates, surmurising that Starfire wouldn't let them chop down such a pretty tree). Silkie, who was snoozing in the basket, had on a little elf cap. The only thing lacking was a decorated tree, but someone had already laid down the train tracks.

"Wow." Robin murmured breathlessly, looking between the Titans. He was ready to just give up on the idea; if there was one thing that Robin knew he'd always underestimate, it was the thoughtfulness of her friends.

"Friend Robin, we noticed that you were rather sad last night when we watched the tube of boobs instead of helping." Starfire said, floating over to Robin. She clasped her hands in front of her. "We did not know the little decorations meant so much to you!"

Beast Boy pointed to himself proudly. "Yup. So we took turns distracting you all morning while the others did a little of the work."

Cyborg shot Beast Boy a look. "SOME of the work! Don't you mean, well, almost all of it? And what kind of distraction is 'Robin, I need you as a study partner for Christmas!', anyway? I'm sure THAT didn't raise any questions."

Starfire interrupted both, "Indeed. But the person you should truly be thanking is Raven. It was her idea to get us together to decorate for your holiday properly."

Robin couldn't help his exclamation. "This was your idea?"

Raven gave him a stoic smile from underneath the hood of her cloak. As usual, she was standing apart from the other Titans. "Don't sound so surprised. It's... well... it's not really my thing, but I found this ornament you gave me that Christmas."

She showed a hint of it underneath her cloak; it was the gothic angel from her dream. "So, um..." She desperately wanted to say that she did it out of gratitude for that first, forgotten act of kindness, but couldn't get the words out. But the smile Robin gave her showed it was unnecessary.

"Starfire." Robin stated, doing his 'leader' voice. "Get the oven ready. We're going to set a world record for your baked ornaments."

**OOOOO**

Robin felt guilty letting his sentimental side show so openly. It was a trait that his father trained him never to indulge in and something that his mentor only instilled in him further. But it was a good kind of guilty. This was the sort of Christmas he dreamed about getting.

"What the heck is that, Cyborg?" Beast Boy said, his voice becoming combative as he passed Starfire a string of lights. Cyborg had put out a case of Christmas summer sausage underneath the base of the tree. It was so strongly smoked that the space was beginning to smell like juicy meat.

Cyborg ignored his friend's tone of voice. "Oh, that. Just a little yuletide sausage. We used to get these things every year."

"Why do you do this to me? Get rid of it, Cy! It's making this tree smell like meat."

Cyborg was about to argue with BB, but stopped himself. "Fine. Just trying to add a little protein to all that sugar."

Starfire landed on the floor. Silkie was still balanced on her head, sucking on a candy cane still in the cellophane. "And there we are, friends. Shall we plug it in?"

"Wait." Raven instructed, levitating the angel to the top of the tree. She fit it on the top and then plugged in the lights with her powers. Robin flicked off the room lights and couldn't surpress a grin. Their tree broke previous levels of weirdness. Probably because Raven added some trinkets from her room to the tree (including one that periodically made the surrounding ornaments turn to grotesquely cute shrunken heads, then back again) and Beast Boy put up little plastic soldiers painted like workshop elves around the ornaments.

As usual, Robin was the only one who stuck to plain jane ornaments, but he didn't care. He thought that a little normalcy added character. Though she had been silent the whole time, he could swear that Raven had been following him around the tree when she put up ornaments. BB shot him demanding looks when she moved a little too close, making Robin wonder why he confided with Beast Boy of all people.

"We should probably have the Christmas party here." Cyborg said, ruffling Beast Boy's hair to his consternation. "Titans East would be so jealous."

Beast Boy smoothed his hair back into place. He said, dreamily, "You know what, guys? Standing around here with friends, looking at a sweet tree, the wind and snow blowing around... it puts me in the mood for something."

Cyborg nodded. "Yeah. Me, too. Puts me right in the mood for..."

Both Cyborg and Beast Boy exclaimed simultaneously, "SANTA SLAYER 2005, VICE CITY!" Both jumped over the couch in front of the TV at the same time, picking up controllers. "Hey, Starfire, want to play?" Beast Boy asked while the other teen was shoving Christmas pretzels in his mouth.

Starfire had a slightly distasteful look at being asked... she was moving closer to Robin, about to put him in a hug. Raven tilted her head down and was moving away. She'd probably go back to her room. Robin could swear that Beast Boy was glowering at this. "Starfire, you promised yesterday! Stop hugging Robin and come and plaaaay."

The Tameranian tapped a finger on her chin, looking between him and Robin. "I did?"

"Yeah, you did. You totally did." Beast Boy clamped a hand over Cyborg's mouth, but Starfire didn't see that. "I beat you in a bet we made while watching A Very Mario Christmas. Mario totally did 20 super jumps on King Koopa's head. C'mon. Just three lives."

Starfire frowned, but went over to the front of the couch anyway, placing Silkie on the armrest. "Mmmph. Very well." She gave Robin an affectionate smile and sat down, grabbing a controller. Beast Boy winked at Robin one last time, sliding back on the seat to face the TV.

Though Robin would've handled it differently, it gave Robin a chance to talk to Raven alone and on a good note. She was already halfway to her room when he caught up with her. "Wait, Raven. Do you have a bit?"

She turned around to face him. Her expression was neutral again. "... something on your mind?"

"Well... I wanted to thank you again, Raven. It really made my day."

"Glad you liked it."

Robin sucked air through his teeth, then sighed. God, why was it so hard to talk to this woman? Better get to the point. She definitely does not have patience for small tlak, Robin thought. "Look. I don't know if it's just my imagination, but it feels like you've been avoiding me lately."

She tilted her head to the side ever so slightly. "I don't mean to. You're busy most of the time and I stick to myself."

"I was thinking that we should really do something tomorrow. Just you and me."

Raven looked away from Robin for a moment, then back to him. Same expression as always. "We can't. You and Starfire have a party to go to tomorrow."

Oh, yes. Robin had forgotten about that; just a few weeks ago he was looking really forward to going to that Christmas party. Titans East were going to be there and he hadn't seen Hotspot and Wildebeast since the tournament. Now just hours before, he forgot. He also felt guilty again at way she phrased that. You and Starfire. "Well, what about the day after tomorrow?"

"Maybe, if I'm up to it." Raven replied.

"Up to it? Have you been getting enough sleep? You seem really tired lately." In the back of his mind, Robin chided himself for slipping into leader mode again. He didn't want to alienate her already.

"I've just been having some bad dreams. I'll get over it." Her voice became a murmur.

"Dreams." Robin ground his teeth together. "Raven. I've been having some weird ones myself, and I was wondering... you know that bond we have?"

Raven turned her gaze on him. She looked so incredibly calm, as always, but Robin couldn't see or hear her heart starting to pound rapidly in her chest. "What about it?"

"This is going to sound weird, but."

"I'm listening."

"Okay. The dreams, they seem more like yours. Well, like your memories. Like when I was dreaming about you and Cyborg and Beast Boy playing stankball, the memory was perfect except for the beginning... I wasn't there, but still saw it. And there was this part where I was talking to all of your emotions. Like Courage and Cynicism. I didn't do that, Beast Boy did, so I was..."

Raven stared at Robin for the longest time. He didn't look the least bit intimidated and she knew that he'd never be satisfied without an answer.

"Look, Robin. When I entered your mind, we may have shared some of our memories. That's the way the bond works."

"But what about Stankball? That happened after."

"You may have just made that part up. Robin, I don't know what's going on with your... dreams, but we're not sharing. Any sort of thought-sharing is not possible without the bond being active."

"Could you have activated it in your dream? I didn't even remember that you broke that tree when you got your first present until last night and I,"

Her voice suddenly turned cold. "Not possible. See you tomorrow, Robin."

Robin stared at her as she phased past the wall into her room, about to ask her another question. It was too late, though. Robin was standing alone in the hall. Or at least he thought he was...

"What are you doing here?" Robin asked, his voice grave. "Didn't you force Starfire to play with you 5 minutes ago?"

Beast Boy weaved his fingers through his green hair and pulled. He had been listening around the corner. "Dude! You TOTALLY screwed that up! Girls do not go for that serious soulmate stuff the first go around." He paused. "Oh, yeah. She intentionally killed her man and was looking for you. But anyway, Robin, listen, if you want Raven to be all, 'oooo, Robin, you are my little bird', you have to be all... Robin?"

Robin gave his friend a wave. "Thanks, Beast Boy. Good night."

Beast Boy's face faltered. "Good night! It's only 5 in the afternoon!"

**OOOOO**

So it was. Robin felt too disgusted with himself to take a nap, so decided to do some exercises. More push-ups and sit-ups couldn't hurt. Starfire had knocked on his door shortly afterwards, asking about him. Robin told her that his stomach wasn't feeling too good. That wasn't a lie. Robin's stomach did feel like it had a lead weight in it.

"You know, maybe showing your true self and giving honest opinions to girls isn't a good idea when you're an idiot." He growled. He picked up the second- heaviest weight in the set from under his bed and began pumping it, ironically enjoying how the burning sensation distracted him.

"What do you care about her, though? Some other friend can come to her rescue. You're tired of reaching out and getting a door in your face." he muttered to himself. He wore out both arms within minutes, but he still had some energy. The little irrational part of his mind mocked him, saying, 'Oh, so you don't care? Is this the new Robin, who lies to himself, too?'

He flopped down on the bed and checked the time. He took an extra long shower, read the Tao of Jeet Kune Do, and did some exercises and only managed to burn an hour and a half. And he did not feel like seeking out Raven, Starfire, or Beast Boy for company. And talking to Cyborg meant coming into contact with one of the above.

Today just seemed completely unreal. Raven doing something for him very nice, then being really cold. Beast Boy managing to take his job very seriously, even if it was just to set Robin up for the nice surprise. And that stupid dream of hers. And he hadn't even done a lot today. Just trained and talked with Beast Boy and decorated a tree. He wondered how Raven (and the guys in their Video Game mode) could stand so little activity in a day.

Was she lying to him about that dream? Robin didn't even consider it. Raven never told a naked lie to him or anyone. She avoided telling the complete story, or, more often, just ignored the question. So it was all imagined.

Whatever. He'd just read his book some more until 7:00 then oversleep. Then get up at five. Ten hours of sleep never killed anyone. Not when they had a Christmas party to go to the next day.

**OOOOO**

It was one of those stupidly hot days near the tail end of August, hot enough to make people question a four-season year in favor of making this month its own season. The grass had withered to brown and yellow spikes under the repeated assault of the sun, yet the humidity was thicker this time of year than ever. Everyone who lacked air conditioning (still, to everyone's woe, unusable after that Sladebot raid on the Titan's Tower many months ago) or went outside instantly became cranky. Robin remembered hearing something from his mentor that city riots are seven times more likely during hot weather.

When Starfire of all people, unaccustomed to Earth's heat, was about to pick a fight with Cyborg, Robin knew it was time. Plus it was just too hot to safely train and he couldn't concentrate on work. Thus, it was a wise decision on Robin's part to have the team just drop everything at the tower and get in the T- Car for a trip to the lake. Everyone's moods instantly picked up as they piled into the air-conditioned car after getting their beach things, ignoring Cyborg's pleas to put a towel down for the sweat.

They made a quick stop to several fast food places to get enough food for a picnic, the Titans settled on Trejo Beach as a site. While Beast Boy objected to the lack of women, the other Titans liked it because it was practically abandoned after Trident made his infamous 'comeback' attack on it a week ago, stopped by the vacationing Titans East.

Cyborg pulled the car up not too far from the water, right into a shady spot next to a showerhouse. He was the only one dressed for the beach, wearing a pair of plain red swimming trunks, more for show. "You guys get dressed. I'll set up." The Titans, eager to have some fun in the sun, hopped out of the car, except for Raven. They were getting good at reading her stoic face and she had a vague look of apprehension as she followed Starfire into the female dressing room.

Thirty minutes had passed. The Cyborg and Beast Boy were already out on the beach, passing a frisbee to each other. As Cyborg threw it harder and harder, Beast Boy became increasingly creative in his animal forms to catch them. Robin was sitting underneath an umbrella on a beach towel, his feet in the cool sand and a pair of sunglasses on his head. He was reading one of his favorite books, 'Fast Food Nation'.

Beast Boy went back to his human form after changing into a gazelle to catch the frisbee, taking it out of his mouth and looking at Robin. "Dude, when are the girls supposed to get here? I want to play volleyball!"

Cyborg nodded. "You know how girls are. Starfire's probably..." He trailed off, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. "Whoa, man."

All three boys looked where Cyborg was gaping and had similar reactions. This was the first time that they had seen someone as pretty as Starfire with even fewer clothes. She was wearing a bright green teeny tiny bikini with flowers on the thigh straps. They couldn't believe how perfectly Star, well, filled it out. She wasn't noticing the open gawking at her newly exposed skin, however. Raven, wearing her cloak with the hood up, was being gently nudged and coralled onto the sand by the Tameranian. Raven had a look of alarm on her face, as far as that goes for her, when she saw the others' expressions for her friend.

"That does it. There's no way I'm taking this cloak off when they're staring at you like that." Raven said, balefully.

Starfire floated right in front of Raven, tugging on her shoulder. "But Raven, how will they see how positively cute you appear in your swimsuit when you wear such a voluminous robe?

Cyborg grinned from ear to ear, taking the frisbee from Beast Boy. "Rae, you let Starfire put you in one of what she's wearing?"

Beast Boy let out a wolf whistle. "Oh, man. This is totally going to be worth waiting 30 minutes."

Raven's eyes narrowed as she gauged the response of the others. They were really looking forward to seeing more of her. Even Robin, who obviously wanted to see, too. But his look became more concerned than eager after he saw the distressed look on her face. He put down his book to the them. "Guys, if she doesn't want to take off her cloak, she doesn't have to." Beast Boy and Cyborg groaned, about to resume, but Starfire still looked like she hadn't given up on the idea.

Her grateful smile lasted for about a nanosecond, but it was still there. She normally wouldn't have even cared, except for the big deal the others made of it. "Thank you, Robin." she murmured, finding her gaze linger on Robin. He was wearing those silly oversized red trunks with the Robin logo on it and still had a mask, even with the sunglasses. She found, against her better judgement, her eyes trailing over his slender but muscular form, that... mrrrph. She slowly inched over towards where Robin was, wondering if she could sit under the shade silently with him with her own book the others played. She then felt her cloak being pulled.

"Friend Raven, just but a few moments. The others are eager to see..." Starfire pleaded.

"Star." Robin warned.

Starfire still didn't let go of even as Raven struggled forward to get to the shade, a safe spot, clutching the fabric around her chest and upper legs to prevent anyone from seeing. To her dismay, Cyborg and Beast Boy were looking over this way again.

"Starfire. Let. Me. Go." Raven murmured, gritting her teeth. Simultaneously, she pulled forward while the alien gave a harder tug, causing the inevitable.

There was a soft ripping sound as the clasp that held her cloak together came apart, exposing her to the eyes of the others. She was wearing something very similar to what Starfire had, only hers was black instead of green. Even though Raven was much smaller, the bikini was only slightly less revealing. Raven stumbled free a few steps forward, tripping over a conch shell. And just like in one of those cheesy anime comedy/romances Starfire and Beast Boy like to watch, she found herself falling...

Right into the arms of a surprised Boy Wonder. Her first reflex was to push herself off of him and throttle Starfire, but as she put her hands on his shoulders to push himself off, Raven felt her brain's commands being ignored by her body, having instead decided to listen to her heart and hormones.

Is this what it felt like to touch another person you were fond of? God, she loved it. She liked being close enough to the smell the coconut-scented sunblock. She really liked how his warm body felt frail but strong under the skin, 'Like a Robin's.' she noticed. She loved the feel of her tummy against Robin's, feeling him breath against her. She really loved the feeling of her thinly clothed breasts against his chest, imagining she could feel his heart beat. She couldn't help but shift her chest back and forth a little bit to feel it again. And she adored how her hips were pressed against his, feeling the heat growing between their legs. She tried to say something, anything, but could only let out a girlish squeal.

"Raven? Raven..." she faintly heard Robin say. She knew she was blushing like mad, but dared to finally look up into his face. His face was becoming flushed, to, and his lips were quivering. His lips. She let her body sink against his while raising her head, letting her lips hang above his. Raven wanted, more than anything, to kiss him. She didn't know how to really give a kiss, but she knew with all of her heart that's what she wanted to do. Who cared what the others thought. She moved her head forward, closing her eyes.

And then Robin gently but firmly pushed her off of him, onto her back. She instantly snapped back into reality, looking back at Robin with questioning eyes. To her despair, his face was horrified and embarrassed and he was scrambling to his feet. Raven laid on her back on the hot sand, wishing for both the world to swallow her whole and that this lasted longer. She would've given anything at the time for a few more seconds. Starfire gave Raven an apologetic look, having no idea what Raven had felt then, then turned to join Robin and the others. Raven picked her cloak off of the sand, holding it to her body tightly.

She couldn't help herself from feeling rejected. The thought didn't cross anyone's mind that it was more than just am embarrassing fall to her. If it was Starfire, it would've been romantic. Because she was his girl. But dumpy, creepy old Raven doing it... it was just a humorous accident. It was just how it went. Everyone thought that Robin belonged with Starfire. Not everyone.

She spent the rest of the day there, left to herself the entire time. No one came over to ask if she wanted to join in any of the games. But that was only a small part of the hurt. She hardly even noticed that her powers shredded Robin's towel and his book to bits.

**OOOOO**

Robin just couldn't believe it. He remembered that, as it happened that summer, but at the time dismissed it as just an accident. He had no idea that moment meant so much to her. To his surprise, he felt the emotions that she felt in that dream, when he hadn't at the time. At the time, it felt and seemed like she was just trying to get off of him but had trouble. 'You don't know anything about her.' Robin chided himself, feeling sad. Everything else went dark as he drifted between the stages of REM sleep, wondering what he would dream next.

**OOOOO**

Monday evening, in the Batcave. Robin's alter ego, Timothy Drake and in costume, was sitting at the main console of the Batcave, going through the psychological profiles of some of the new inmates at Arkham Asylum as Batman ordered. Unfortunately, his heart wasn't it. 'Not because I got caught lying to my father,' Robin suddenly remembered, 'and then got the lecture of my life, but because of what happened during the weekend.'

"Something amiss, young master?" Alfred, the mansion's sole butler asked. He held a tray with a single glass of lemonade on it, which Tim took gratefully.

"Just this last weekend with the Titans. We finished organizing and had our first real fight. As a team. And I stunk." Robin looked at his younger self sulk in disbelief. Back then, he was more open, more dependent on others. Weaker, too. Robin still wasn't sure even now whether the two were related.

"Please elaborate." Alfred asked, gently. Tim looked up at Alfred guilelessly, while Robin mentally winced. He couldn't imagine confiding in Alfred like he used to. They seemed worlds apart now.

"Okay. We were fighting some sewer mutants who could breath fire. And they had super strength. I couldn't do anything but throw birdarang, which didn't even hurt them. And gave orders while staying in the back." Robin felt the prickle of shame grow a little bit deeper. They wouldn't even be a minor challenge for him anymore, but back then they were unstoppable.

"Then." Timothy continued. "On Sunday, we fought this rock giant. Cinderblock. Same thing. I couldn't do anything. After the fight, the other Titans didn't say anything, but they looked real let down. Like Robin was supposed to be some unstoppable bigshot. I don't even know why I was there."

"Stop it." came a deep, brooding voice from behind him. Bruce Wayne, in costume except for his mask. A combination that always struck Robin as being both fatherly and businesslike. "They're right if you have that attitude. But you are the leader. Act like it."

"How? Fighting Two Face and Ventriloquist is one thing. But we're talking about real monsters here. Supervillains. My teammates eat guys like Joker and Clayface for breakfast."

Bruce's thin line for a mouth drooped downwards. Robin would've smiled if he could. Nothing could convince him that there was anyone more dangerous than the Joker, even after saving the planet a few times. "It isn't any different, Robin. You are just not using your full strength. How you and I fight is sufficient for Gotham, but when you're fighting metahumans, you have to really push it out."

Tim stared at his mentor in disbelief. "My full strength! I could have been three times stronger and things still wouldn't have changed. I don't have superpowers. I just don't know how I could be in the Titans."

Bruce, as Nightwing and Robin irreverantly called it, did the Bat Eyenarrow. The effect was a lot less menacing without the mask, but Tim still got the hint. "Tim. Come with me to the gym. We are going to spar."

"Sure, I guess. It won't help anything. I know every major style and I could even give most Olympic athletes a run for their money. But I still don't-."

"Not the gym, Robin. THE gym. The one where Nightwing and I used to practice."

The twinge of shame was replaced by one of smugness. Little Tim was about to be schooled in the art of pain.

THE gym, as Bruce's disciples called it, wasn't used any more. It used to be Bruce Wayne's own place to practice when he was alone, until he took on a Robin. They used a dojo-style place above ground after that. This occured to Tim that this was his first he'd been in this section of the Batcave; he rarely dared to venture outside of the familiar areas back then.

Robin continued to be surprised with how green he was. On pillars of stone there were martial art scrolls in languages and of cultures Tim had never even seen before, but were old hat to Robin. Bruce led his student into the middle of THE gym. Both then bowed to each other. Tim wasn't really worried; he sparred with Bruce before, and though he wasn't his equal, he was getting to be a good match for Bruce.

"Robin. You will not even touch me unless you use the limit of your abilities. Use your tools, too, if you must." Bruce undid his utility belt and tossed it to the side.

"Okaaaay..."

"You are wondering how and why I am in the Justice League. You are wondering how I deserve to be on the same team as Diana and Walter. Let me show you."

Tim raised an eyebrow, the disbelief and unlearned cockiness evidence in his face. "Seems a little unfair, but fine."

Tim's hand went for his utility belt, pulling out two birdarangs. Robin noted that back then the things he used were a lot less lethal. While some were sharp enough to cut into flesh, the ones Robin used for the Teen Titans went through solid steel. Tim took aim and threw both straight at Bruce, expecting him to dodge it...

And was utterly surprised when, previously standing like a statue, Bruce's hands casually whipped up and caught both between his fingers, centimeters from his face. He spun them around with his wrists and 'casually' flicked them at Tim, at a much higher velocity than he had before. Tim's eyes widened and he barely had enough time to duck, hearing the impact of the birdarangs landing... no, actively breaking stone.

'What on earth was that?' Tim thought, taking his telescoping bo staff from his belt. He pressed a button, causing it to pop out to its full length. Bruce beckoned Robin with his fingers. Tim feinted left as he sprinted forward, swinging his staff at the right side of his mentor's head. And his eyes widened again in shock as he was able not only to block the powerful two-handed swing using only two fingers, but absorb enough force to throw him off balance.

Undaunted, Tim swung again and again, harder and faster than he normally would use in a spar. Bruce kept deflecting his attacks in the same apathetic way, until Timothy thrust the tip of the weapon at his mentor's collarbone; Bruce caught the entire thing in his palm and then grabbed another section, picking Tim straight off of the ground. With a grunt, he swung Tim's staff over his head and behind him, launching Tim off and into the air, impossibly high. The launched student stopped himself near the apogee of his 'flight' by grabbing onto a crevice in the pillar, crying out as his arm was wrenched some. But he was staring at his mentor in utter disbelief.

"How...?"

"Watch very carefully, Robin." Bruce said, breaking Tim's titanium pole over his knee like a tree twig. He tossed both halves to the floor and reared his hands behind him, then thrust both hands forward while connecting his palms. Sort of like the Hadouken motion, Timothy thought wryly. But instead of a slow moving blue fireball, Tim could hear the whistle of air and then a loud bang as a huge chunk of rock Tim was holding onto shattered, as if his mentor had projected his fist through the air. Timothy fell towards the rock floor, landing into a small somersault.

This was no good, Tim realized. He ran behind another rock pillar, trying to hide. Bruce shook his head, walking the other direction. "Don't be so surprised, Timothy. I'm sure you've heard of kendo masters able to make a sheet of paper from across the room move when they swing their sword; in our job, we are expected to make them look like children!"

Timothy, watching from the shadows, watched Bruce do something straight out of a wire-fu movie. From a dead stand, he leaped up nearly 5 yards in the air, balancing nearly horizontal on another stone pillar, right above a scroll with something written in Swahili. He paused for a few seconds, able to keep his footing despite the slickness of the vertical rock and his awkward position. Robin knew that it wasn't just his costume; just good boots alone wouldn't let him do that.

Then, seemingly satisfied with something, Bruce launched himself straight off with a kick. Barely losing height, his foot went straight through another stone column, breaking it and going through it like butter. Robin knew that his alter ego's mouth was agape. He went through yet another pillar, the one Tim was hiding behind, and sent him straight to the floor, pinning Timothy on his back against the rock. Timothy flinched, expecting it to hurt, but it didn't. He was just merely prone.

"Listen. Tim, you have heard stories of ordinary humans doing amazing things when they are loved ones are threatened by death itself. Young women lifting up entire cars. People surviving falls from airplanes. Soldiers surviving several gunshot wounds to their head."

"Oof. But... what does that have to do with me?"

"You must, no, WILL be able to summon up these amazing feats at will. Instead of only being able to kick through solid rock when a baby is threatened, you must do it without reason and without thought. You must use the urgency of all those you are fighting for and channel it into fist and foot and body."

Bruce got off of Tim, walking away. "Hmmph. Olympic-level athleticism. Let them live with their meager accomplishments, revel in that fake glory. What we do is much more important, so it calls for more. Rarely, people can do it, even when lives are at stake. But the potential is there. This, this is the true superpower of humans. It can make you stronger than any robot or Tameranian."

Tim slowly stood up, finding some weird sense of strength and pride welling in his body. "But how do I learn to do that?"

Bruce continued walking off. "I learned to do it out of my undying hatred for criminals. You must find your own reason to perform miracles. I know you know what that reason is."

Timothy leaned against what raemained of the broken pillar. He already knew what he had to become strong for. Much stronger than he had ever been. The Titans. He couldn't let them down. He was their leader and was going to be the best.

The thought of a stoic, pale-skinned girl with purple eyes entered his thoughts. He had given her a place to belong, finally, by his word alone. He couldn't let her down by being weak.

**OOOOO**

The image faded. Robin felt much better after seeing that memory. The first one was almost heartbreaking, the second inspiring. Still, if this emotional rollercoaster is what Raven went through every night, no wonder why she was so moody, even more than what was needed to control her powers. And felt the need to deny the bond being strong as it was, the irrational part of his mind reminded himself. Robin shooed it away with a thought, but the power of the first dream made it impossible without great force of will. With these last thoughts, Robin drifted back into unconsciousness within unconsciousness again, then wakened by a feeling of dread.

**OOOOO**

Raven's room began to form, and Robin's sight was right in the middle of it. He had never really gone into her room before past the doorframe once he and Cyborg built her room, even though everyone else had. She frequently remarked about how she didn't want her sanctum disturbed. And he was right in the middle of it. Though breaking that rule wasn't the cause of the dread he felt.

The room felt dark, very dark, despite the eerie glow of her trinkets and relics. Though he could see Raven, sitting on her bed quite clearly. She had an openly anxious expression on her face, something he only saw a few times before. Raven had her cloak hood up and wrapped it tightly around her, glancing around the room. She forced a calm expression on her face as a human shadow was cast over her. Even if he hadn't seen how she looked a few seconds ago, he wouldn't have been fooled by the tension she felt.

"I see you showed up after all. Excellent." Whoever said that was using a voice similar to Speedy's. He sounded a bit younger, but had an edge to it he didn't previously have.

"I couldn't resist. The moments of weaknesses have been more frequent." Raven murmured, her voice sounding shy.

"Shh. Don't apologize. I'll be more than happy to indulge you. Come here. By the mirror."

Raven slid off of her bed and walked over to her mirror, still looking about for the stranger. She felt a thrill go through her as she was grabbed by the biceps and pressed almost up against it, her eyes forced to look straight into into the mirror. "Please..." Neither Robin or Raven could see the face of the stranger, though his clothes were coming into focus. They seemed familiar.

"I saw that dream of yours earlier. I didn't know you had such feelings for me. You've also been peering into my memories, too." The stranger pulled down Raven's hood and placed his lips up against her ear, breathing warm air into it. "That's not fair, after I've respected your privacy."

An soft sigh of pleasure escaped Raven's lips. "...I couldn't help myself."

Robin's heart skipped a beat as the stranger suddenly became more visible. It was him. Wearing that uniform Slade forced onto him when he became his apprentice. He could see the stranger's face, too. It was calm, smug, completely sure of himself. "I think you owe me something in return, Raven. Something that you want to keep secret, too." He even sounded like him. The voice sounded younger, but had an edge to it he never had.

The Apprentice squeezed Raven's arms, holding her in place. Raven struggled and let out a soft cry as her body trembled. Her body, to Robin's shock, beginning to be covered with red symbols, all over. They all looked vaguely like the one the ressurected Slade had, except for the one on her forehead; that one was exactly like it.

Raven was squirming in pain and humiliation as her uniform began to burn off places where they formed, leaving her half-naked in the same way she was when Robin saved her. Robin tried to call out to Raven, but no sound came out. He then realized he felt very confused by the curious mixture of horror and desire she was experiencing. Was this a fantasy? This felt like a dream. Not just a memory, but a real dream. So why did he feel so anxious?

"Robin..." She addressed the Apprentice with his name. "Why..."

He wrapped his arms around her waist, nestling his chin against her shoulder. "Isn't this what you wanted? To have someone see the real you? To understand the real you? Seeing you branded like a piece of property is a part of that."

Raven relaxed into his embrace, closing her eyes. "You're right, Robin. There is no reason why I should hide."

The Apprentice smirked and let his hands trail around her soft stomach, teasing and tickling her with his fingernails. Raven let out another languid shiver. "You've been eating a lot more sweets. It's starting to show, pumpkin." he said, nastily. Raven's eyes opened a little bit, stunned at the vicious comment... but she closed her eyes again, trying to enjoy his touches. "I'll cut back."

"No, you want. You project strength, but you're weak. I see that you seek out any tiny bit of pleasure you can get, girl. No matter how bad it is for you. That's why I'm here, to make you feel better. Even though I'd never be with a girl like you." Robin felt intensely resentful of the imposter. He was using her desire for company and warmth to mock her.

Raven suddenly was becoming tense in his grasp, her dreamy look fading. Her body froze as she felt his fingers slip under her belt and underneath the shredded waistband of her torso briefly. She only because slightly less tense as his fingers slipped back out. "Stop that. What you're saying is hurtful." She sounded more upset than angry.

"It's the truth. I thought that you were above pointless feelings affecting your logical. Or is that more hypocrisy?" The Apprentice tried to nip at her ear, but Raven pulled her head away.

"If you're supposed to be indulging my weakness, you're doing a very poor job of it. Stop it." Her voice was becoming cold.

"Ha. I'm not here to assauge your useless self-esteem, wretched girl. I'm here to keep you dormant and satisfied." He tried to press his entire palm between her legs, but Raven slipped out of his grasp and pushed him back, glaring.

"You are not Robin. Robin would never say that. You're... you're..." Her eyes began to widen as the Apprentice's form changed within the shadows. Robin saw it to, and felt a familiar cold fury course through his body.

"Correct, Raven. I am Slade." Came his psychotically cold voice. Slade towered above Raven, looking at her like an insect. "And it took you a week to find that out. That speaks volumes of your willingness to overlook unpleasant truth for pleasure. Not unlike dear departed Terra."

Raven tried to back away from the criminal, summoning dark energy. "Azarath Metrion Zin-" She was cut short as Slade pounced upon her and grabbed her by both wrists, slamming her back against the mirror. Robin again tried to let out a cry of rage, but again no sound issued.

"Be happy to know that I am still here to indulge your weakness. Your father wants to use you much sooner than what my plan calls for. So I am going to stall, sweet Raven." Slade intoned. His eye narrowed at her as she struggled, his mark glowing as he surpressed her power. "Let's banish those unpleasant feelings of Loneliness and Rage at wanting someone you can't have, hmm?"

"NO!" Raven cried, trying to kick at him. She suddenly arched her back as her body was flooded with power, her scream becoming a shriek, and then fading into a moan. Though Robin couldn't feel it directly, he knew what Slade was doing to her. He was doing the unthinkable with the empath. He was forcing emotions into her.

"Yes." Slade crooned, letting Raven go. She fell to the floor, clutching her stomach. Her entire body was flushed red and she was breathing heavily. He heard Slade let out a dark chuckle as he watched her losing the fight against her emotions. "Jealousy and Lust to keep those unwanted thoughts at pay. It is too bad that I can't inflict positive emotions on you. You would've made a good apprentice. But this will do."

Raven finally looked up at Slade from on the floor, trying to make her voice sound resolute. She couldn't surpress the gasping in her voice. "Stop it, Slade. Stop this now..."

"You want me to banish the unpleasant desire you're feeling? The needy pressure? Very well, but I will only do it the way non-freaks do it. Let's continue from earlier." The dark man circled around Raven, inspecting her. She was trying to stop her hands from going to her body, to stop her thighs from rubbing together. She wanted to maintain a shred of dignity in front of him, even as she found her will crumbling.

"Ahn. N-no... don't come... near me." Raven whimpered, despising how weak she sounded and looked. "I won't let, mmm, you."

Slade kneeled down to where she was, placing a finger on her nose. "I wouldn't dream of it. You have to beg me, wretched girl. Beg me to give you what you want." His voice sounded like a lover's coo. Slade found that he loved humiliating this sarcastic, stoic Titan. Robin tried to look away, but found it impossible. He couldn't close his eyes or block his ears. He watched her squirm on the ground for the longest time, satisfied at a whisper. "What was that?"

"Please, Slade... touch me. Do whatever you like to me. But please, ah. Stop this." Raven closed her eyes in shame. She had given in to him. Something Robin had refused to do. Oh, Robin...

"Good girl." He lifted her to her feet, resuming the position he was in with her earlier. She shuddered in her gasp, feeling his gloved fingers feel all over her body. His hands finally cupped the front of her breasts, squeezing lewdly. "Just let it all out. This is why I am here."

Raven cursed herself for enjoying that first feel of pleasure. Her desperate expression hardened briefly and she growled, "I hate you, Slade."

Slade's hands grasped around where the cloak was attached to her leotard, ripping it away. "Then tell me to stop, Raven." Both hands went underneath her 'top', creating a small rip in the fabric and pulling the ends apart. She let out a moan of disgust as her chest was freed and Slade groped her, more obscenely than before.

"Slade... S... n-oh God. God... yes..."

**OOOOO**

Robin was, with all of his effort, able to make himself black out. When he came to again, he saw Raven's room destroyed, probably from her own dark powers. She was lying in a pile of shredded cloth, sweat glistening over her body. She was still panting huskily, on her back, but through her flushed expression she was looking up at Slade with an expression of pure hatred. He was calmly wiping off his fingers with the cloak she was trying to cover herself with..

"Try to keep yourself under control for the next few weeks, pumpkin. Be thankful that I stopped there. But it will get worse if I have to come back. Or better, perhaps; you're quite a slut, I've noticed. It makes no difference to me." Raven winced at Slade's words, trying to cover herself.

"I've noticed you becoming closer to your friends. That has to stop. Cut them off. Especially Robin. Your attraction for him his not healthy. Things would not be different even if he didn't already love another. You, Raven, cannot feel love. Just a base, animalistic desire to own and mate. I can see how someone as wretched as you can confuse that." Slade sneered.

"I'll never do what you say. NEVER. You may be able to push me around here but they will stop you, Slade."

Slade yanked the cloak away from her and stabbed a finger right into her breastbone. "So selfish. Have you heard nothing I said? I'm delaying the day of reckoning for you for a few months. You must do those things and you must feel that way. For them, Raven. You will tell them nothing, because you know that their misguided attempts to help you will make things worse."

"What makes you think that I will do what you say, you monster? I'm doomed either way. It's just a few months." Raven asked, her voice becoming choked as she tried to cover herself.

"Because you know deep in your heart that you're hoping, praying for a chance that someone will come and save you. You know how close the end is, Raven. You need these extra months. That's why you will do what I say." Though Slade tried to make his voice sound sinister, he couldn't mask the triumphant tone to it.

Raven's head tilted downwards, towards the floor. Her hands fell loose. The evil man had caught her, trapped her between living through this torture or betraying her friends. And the worst thing was that it was her fault. No wonder why Robin and Beast Boy hated him so deeply.

Her silence was all Slade needed to hear. "Good girl. Think about what I said. Oh, and try to pick up your room. So messy."

He stood up and walked into the shadowy corners of her room, disappearing. Raven was left there in broken surroundings. A single tear slid down her cheek. "Oh, Robin... I'm sorry."


	3. Someone to Love

**PhallenPhoenix**: Thanks for your comments and criticism. Yours was the first extended C&C that I received and they really helped motivate me to continue this monster; I would have probably given up.

**Darkmoon**: Thanks for your help with the scene at the end. I used some of your ideas.

**ChocolateCurlz**: And finally, a huge shout out to fellow R/R fanatic on the Forbidden Love board. Thanks for commenting on the non-squishy parts. I liked writing the Starfire and Beast Boy scenes myself.

Okay, and now for the disclaimer.

1) References are made to Robin (Tim Drake's) personal history. I know the cartoon Robin is supposed to be Dick Grayson but I'm using the weasel room. I'm more familiar with Tim's character. So nyeh. Anyway, if you had trouble understanding the context of the scenes, e-mail me and I'll explain.

2) Slade stuff again. He's just as much of a jerk as before but it's not as explicit this time. But I made up for it in the end. No sex, just heavy petting.

3) I'm sorry if it seems like I'm under utilizing the other characters! That's really hard to do in a romance without ruining the mood. I tried to make the dialogue extra-funny when it didn't focus on Robin and Raven.

4) If you didn't get enough Robin/Raven shippiness, come on down to Forbidden Love! Message board devoted to this couple. Be warned, this board gets very angsty about the two. But then again, that's the attraction of the couple, right?

5) Again, the M is almost exclusively for sexual content. There is some (cartoony) violence and some lewd words but I want to get as much naughty material in as possible without breaking the rating. I'm not writing an out-and-out hentai fanfic and I really have no intention to. The end is about as explicit as it's going to get. Feel free to use your imagination.

Anyway.

**OOO**

**Chapter 3: Someone to Love**

Robin jolted awake like people suffering from nightmares do, though his body felt too numb to get more movement than a feeble twist. His mouth was watery and his throat was dry. He looked at the alarm clock as he tried to rally energy. 5:26 AM. The nausea and exhaustion told him that forcing himself out of sleep was a bad idea, but Robin couldn't ignore it. He slipped into a fresh uniform without showering and jogged down the hall, heading for Raven's room.

She was already there, though, leaning against the doorframe. Her hair and leotard were soaked with sweat and she no doubt felt even worse than him. She didn't even know Robin was there until he was directly in front of her. She had a horrified, shamed look on her face and immediately averted her eyes.

Robin found a lump in his throat. He had no idea how to talk about this. "Raven."

It proved unnecessary. "Robin, I've been lying to you." She sighed miserably. "There is a dream bond."

"I didn't mean to force this. I understand why you didn't want to talk about it, given what goes on over the bond." Robin said, his meaning intentionally vague.

"I've been reading into your thoughts for the last two weeks. I should have told you earlier, but I..."

"That's... okay." There was then a flicker of anger in Robin's voice. "Has Slade been contacting you in your sleep?"

"No. 'Slade' is a manifestation of my thoughts and fears." Raven said. She still had not looked at him, which made Robin suspicious.

"Raven, I felt what you were feeling. If there's any doubt in your mind that this isn't... more than you say, then please tell me." Robin said it in such a way to that he wasn't going to push it any further. He was going to accept her explanation at face value.

Raven was silent for a few moments. She looked directly into Robin's eyes. Raven was always struck by how Robin, more than any other person she had known, was always willing to face unpleasant truths without panicking or getting angry or not treating it seriously. It was one of sole reasons she stayed with the Titans at first, but as she got to know him better became one of many. This was always true... except when it came to Slade. Her leader was still waiting for an answer.

"Listen. Believe me when I say that there is nothing like that going on. If Slade was really there, in my mind... then why would he let you see what you saw?" There was a lowering, almost choked inflection in her voice, which Robin struggled to understand the meaning of. "Would he really let you see me in such a state?"

Her explanation made sense, Robin thought, but he felt uneasy accepting it. Not because there might have been something... oh no. Robin realized that he was actually glad for this. It gave him something to focus his emotions on other than the real truth: Raven had serious feelings for him. And he might have the same for her. It was plainly obvious from her dreams; she had imagined him, as the apprentice, frequenting her room for as long as a week and looking at his most important memories. He found himself confused but hopeful. Raven looked absolutely tired but for some reason she was still looking at him expectantly.

"Raven, do you have any control over these dreams? I can't feel or move in yours, but I can definitely think." Robin lead in. Better now than never.

"I don't control them. I, like you, feel when they're mine."

"Then why those dreams? They really mean sometime to you, I can tell. They did to me. But what do you really think about all this?"

She stopped her lip from quivering or from biting on it. Even with that mask, Robin looked so earnest, so guileless, that he almost looked innocent. She desperately wanted to tell him how she felt and almost did... when she remembered Slade's warning about getting closer to her teammates. Even Raven couldn't stop her amethyst eyes from showing defeat.

"It means that I'm losing control over my powers. I shouldn't be feeling like this. I've been becoming too close to the others and I should stop." Raven said, trying to make her voice unemotional. "You know what will happen if I don't." Though she was not lying at all, Robin looked so hurt that she may as well have been.

As if trying to deny what he heard from both Slade and his friend, Robin said, giving depth to each word, "What does that mean for the team? For us?"

"It means that I have to spend more time meditating and less time feeling." she said, bluntly.

Robin stepped closer towards her. He was upset by this, even though he and the other Titans had always had the unspoken dread that her new openness wouldn't last for long, like it did for Malchior. "Raven, I respect your privacy, you know I do, but I can't just let you do that. I don't care how bad it gets, asking us to just forget about you and leave you alone is wrong. Especially since these last dreams, where I have the feeling that-"

"That I liked you?" She finished. Robin nodded slowly. "I..." The issue was finally out in the open. But Raven knew that she wouldn't get the chance to be inevitably rejected. If she told him how she really felt and what was really going on, Robin would never back down. And that would put Robin in danger. Ironically, to protect him, she had to reject the person she had been thinking about for so long.

He placed his hand on her shoulder, his smile gentle and eternal. "Just tell me."

Raven moved away from his grasp, retreating back into her room. "Don't judge anything by the dreams. They're impulses, not real desires. What any teenage girl thinks of you. I don't truly feel that way about you, Robin. I just can't."

He looked stunned and then almost as quickly his face went blank. His voice was calm, making Raven hurt to see how quickly he appeared to drop the idea. "I see what you mean. Don't look into it. Well, you want to go to the Christmas party?"

Just like Robin, her demeanor became impassive and cordial. She found it curiously easy now to conceal her feelings now that she said that. "No. I need to meditate and get some sleep. Away from the link."

He shrugged and looked as though he was about to walk off. "Well, enjoy yourself. We'll be back late in the evening."

"You and Starfire have fun." She said, watching him go down the hallway back to his room.

**OOO**

They left at the earliest possible time, at Starfire's insistence. Beast Boy and Cyborg, late risers, barely even had time to get breakfast and get dressed. But Star was up even earlier than Robin and Raven, getting prepared. She really looked more like she was going to a prom then a semi-formal party; she wore a dress similar in design to what she wore at that disastrous date with Kitten, only a heart was cut out over the front of the dress. As usual, the boys, even Robin, couldn't help but sneak peeks at how beautiful she, as always, looked. Of course, when she discovered that Cyborg was going to go as he was (without clothes) and Beast Boy planned to wear his normal ratty uniform, she sent both of them back to get more suitable attire.

So all of the boys were dressed nicely. Beast Boy borrowed an old suit of Robin's and managed to get it wrinkled on the car trip over, Robin was wearing a polo shirt and a pair of dark slacks and Cyborg was somehow able to convince Starfire that he just really needed a pair of grey trousers. Since Raven wasn't sitting up front, Beast Boy had weaseled his way in the front. Leaving Robin and the Tameranian alone in the back seat.

She seemed much more flirty than usual. Twice she complimented him on how he looked and took every chance to touch or get near him, even opening the door for him. Which felt awkward. Robin's old girlfriends, Ariana and Stephanie, used to do the same for him. They were popping up more and more today in his thoughts today than usual and instead of just repressing it, Robin tried to draw on his own experience how to handle this.

Both of them approached him with the same sort of determination as Starfire, though she was much more demure about it. No wonder why it seemed that getting into a relationship was easier with them: they did nearly all of the work in the first stages. While he wasn't a lazy or neglectful boyfriend, not by a long shot, he was also painfully shy about the opposite sex when it came to regarding them more than teammates. Everyone thought that since he was Robin and that a lot of girls were after him, then he must be some sort of Don Juan.

Maybe that's why he had a really hard time talking to Raven. He felt and wanted to be closer to her, but she was hard to talk to about something trivial, let alone something deeper. While he had been shocked by her words this morning, Robin hadn't given up the vague and unrealistic desire to get closer to her. It didn't have to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Starfire wanted them to have that sort of relationship and was rather forceful about it.

And Starfire was also the perfect girlfriend. Smart, sweet, attractive, loyal, energetic, and hopelessly attracted to him. Robin sometimes hated himself for that fact that he could probably never feel as intensely for her as she did him. Shyness and perfectionism go really poorly together, Robin thought as they pulled up into the Titan East's garage.

Robin couldn't help comparing decorations as they got out. They definitely did not skimp. Even the stairwell had a few lights on the walls. Starfire saw the look on his face and assured him that this was only because they had Mas y Menos do most of the work. Speedy came out to greet them, dressed exactly like Robin was.

"What, did you two call each other last night?" Beast Boy snickered as the two non-powered Titans cast each other a casing look. Which were then turned to the green kid and had become glares.

"Welcome to the party. Wildebeest and Hotspot are already here. Why do all of you guys gotta be so early?" Speedy was still ticked at having to start (and wake up for) a party at 10 o' clock. Cyborg made an aside to Star and commented that he was the most likely one to sleep past noon.

He led them upstairs, to the lounge area. Beast Boy and Cy immediately made a beeline towards the tables with candy and snacks on them, filling up their paper plates and then going to talk to Wildebeest. Starfire was hovering around Robin while trying to make it look like she wasn't, but the effect was hard to maintain. Mas y Menos were constantly pestering her with small Christmas gifts, openly flirting with her as she tried to turn it down. This gave Robin some unexpected free time, so he went to the tree. Aqualad was there, arranging the presents in piles for the Titans West. Robin felt a little silly that his team were the only ones dressed up, as everyone else still seemed to be in costume.

"Hey, Robin. What do you think of the tree we decorated?" Aqualad asked, without turning around.

"¡Qué¡Hicimos la mayoría del trabajo!" Mas shouted, taking a small pause from pestering Starfire. He then thrust the teddy bear he was holding back towards her.

"Él es más perezoso que Speedy." Menos added, conspirationally but loud enough for the other Titan to hear. He looked offended.

"I was the one who put out the fire you set to the first Christmas Tree with your cheap Guetamalan halogen lights. So don't-"

Robin chuckled. "This is really nice." It was, but now that the twins pointed it out most of the decorations seemed to be near the base. It was a good tree, but it had nowhere near as much character as the one back at his tower. He thought about Raven, left at the tower by herself, and felt disappointed that she couldn't come. Robin was never really a party person in the first place; even if Kitten wasn't that obnoxious and the prom wasn't thrashed, he'd have wanted to leave it in the first place.

Still, it was nice to see the Steel City Titans again. He wanted to trade notes with Speedy and get a better look into what Cyborg did during his tenure as leader. As far as one could tell he did a better job here than even Robin could; Titans East used to be a joke among superhero communities. No wonder why Cyborg got angry after being told to come back home. But parties just didn't feel the same without her...

"Hey, Robin." Aqualad said, waving a hand in front of his face. "You're really spacing out. Are you okay?"

"Just thinking. This Christmas has just... not been what I've expecting."

Aqualad glanced sideways towards Starfire, who had broken away from the twins only to be cornered and flirted with Speedy by the couch. Though she wasn't interested, she was taking his overtures more good naturedly than with Mas y Menos. "What do you mean?"

Robin shrugged and glanced towards the snack table. Beast Boy had said something wrong and was hastily backing away from an angry-looking Wildebeest. "Just have this feeling of unrest."

"Criminals?"

Robin's eyebrows narrowed a little bit. Slade, as always, had been on the back of his mind but as for the other villains they had been especially quiet. The Jump City police were getting a lot more efficient at stopping criminals since they had a new commissioner and a budget increase, so that meant more free time for the Titans. "Not really."

"I can't imagine you getting worked up about something else. Except for maybe your team members." He glanced towards Starfire and Speedy again, both of whom were laughing at a joke of his. His coal black eyes glittered. "Maybe a team member?"

Robin was immediately put on the defensive. He knew where this was going. "It's not that at all." He didn't mention Star by name, since everyone knew that if a teen denied liking someone attractive, that meant that they in fact did.

Aqualad shrugged. "If you say so. Enjoy the party." Robin thought that was that. He didn't see the Atlantean go to Bumblebee and whisper something to her. She smiled slyly and went to her room, then came back with a stereo.

**OOO**

It didn't take long for Bumblebee to set up the music. Frank Sinatra and other Christmastime singers crooned over the speaker system Cyborg installed and the lights were dimmed. Since Robin and Starfire were the only ones close to a couple, they had gotten the most attention from the males. Robin had danced with her to a more jazzier song, relieved it wasn't a slow dance. Hotspot was singing along to the lyrics--rather than being intrusive and annoying, he was actually very good. With the grey sky, the candles, and the soft music it felt like a fancy party. After the song, Robin went to the group Aqualad and Cyborg were with and enjoyed some punch.

Bumblebee, being the only other woman, was also being asked to danced. She pointedly ignored Cyborg and went straight for Beast Boy, holding out her hand. Beast Boy was surprised at her forwardness but still went with her, being led along to a slow song. After awhile, he got the hang of it and was leading her, even cracking a few quick jokes at his dancing skill. She smiled wryly at him but didn't say anything.

"Turned down in favor of Beast Boy." Cyborg commented, taking a long drink of punch. He didn't notice that no one was drinking from the same bowl he was. "What did I do to deserve that, I will never know." He didn't seem all that upset, however.

Robin didn't hide the amusement at this. "How come she's treating you so coldly?

Speedy shrugged. "She's still jealous of him. She was the leader before he came by, back when we weren't in good shape. Cyborg comes in, fixes up the Tower in record time, and single-handedly pulls her and her team's butts out of the frying pan. Right after she applied an unholy beatdown to him two weeks earlier."

"Yo, she didn't beat me all that bad." grumbled Cyborg.

Robin chuckled at that. "That's why she's cross, huh? That's sort of why I didn't want you to go. If something happened to me I'm sure the team would do just as good with you in charge."

"Thanks, man."

Robin looked into his cup wistfully. "You'll probably even surpass me."

Cyborg raised his one eyebrow. "Don't get all mushy on me now, man. Save it for the dance."

"Yeah, about that. Is it my imagination or is Starfire about to ask Aqualad to this next slow, romantic song?" Speedy leaned right into Robin's view and was pointing a finger towards the two. She held out her and Aqualad, like a gentleman, took it gracefully and led her towards the middle of the room.

"She's just trying to make me jealous. Besides, what girl doesn't want to dance with him, anyway?"

"Huh. If you say so." Speedy said. He and Cyborg exchanged looks. They didn't know that even if Robin did want to dance with her, he disliked public displays like that; he only felt comfortable dancing in private or when no one was there, such as when a prom was crashed by insect people.

"You know, I really don't know how come he isn't just surrounded by hordes of girls. His power has a lot of cute potential and he's pretty fun to be around." Cyborg brought up, sensing the awkwardness.

"Cute potential? Who thinks that green animals are cute? Maybe if they were pink." Speedy muttered. Robin didn't say anything. He suspected the real reason Beast Boy didn't pursue girls all that much was because Terra's death still left a large hole in his heart. Neither brought it up directly, but he could tell. He didn't like stopping by his and Terra's favorite ice cream stand anymore, never went by her old room, and after the fight with the tattooed Slade became sullen for a couple of days.

"Well, but still-" Cyborg suddenly choked on his drink and then inspected it. "Is that green fur! Oh, man! Gross! I take back everything I said. He's never going to get any!"

"Oh, yeah. I dared Beast Boy to swim in the bowl as a chipmunk. Then a cockroach, a squid, and a skunk." Speedy said, nonchalantly. "I forgot to throw it out."

"Why you little..."

After the song and giving Aqualad a peck on the cheek so Robin could see it, she came over towards the boys and smiled at them demurely. "Robin, would you care to join me for this next song?"

He was trying to think of a way to turn Starfire down when he was shoved forward by a hard clap on his shoulder from Cyborg. "Sure." he acquiesced.

**OOO**

Most guys would find waltzing with this girl absolute heaven, especially when she was trying to hold them to her as closely as possible. Even though she was taller than him by almost a foot, Robin could swear that she was pressing his head against her bosom. Doing it was surprisingly easy... Starfire was very good at this and showed him how to perform the motions in an gentle way. To his dismay, everyone at the party was looking at the two and commenting.

He looked up into Starfire's eyes, deeply. He saw adoration coming from this girl, something he'd only seen once before from the thousands of girls who tried to get his attention. She really was in love with him. Not just as a crush or fondness or a close friendship. That look touched him so much that Robin searched his heart, trying to find his feelings towards her.

She was amazing. The perfect girlfriend. But for some reason he just couldn't see himself with her. He could imagine the dates and the good times and the cuddling, but he couldn't imagine being with her complete. Talking to her at three o' clock in the morning until the sun came up because he felt like it. Explaining how much he was haunted in his line of work. Just the little things. He really didn't have all that much in common with Starfire, though she definitely wasn't an opposite. He had to admit that it looked really cute and that she had been there for him during the darker days of him being a Titan.

Dark... thoughts of Raven came to his head. If Starfire embodied the dream lover, then Raven embodied the undateable single woman. She was moody, quiet, sarcastic, very introverted, and showed little interest in doing anything that couldn't be done in a creepy room. He wondered if she even liked him. She said she didn't, and at the time he thought she was lying.

But now he really did wonder. She apparently was really interested in the man trapped inside the book for that week, according to Beast Boy, but it turned out that he was just feigning interest to get free. But that made him wonder how she became attracted to the dragon in the first place.

Raven wasn't impressed by the things that made most girls swoon over guys. He doubted that she could be smooth talked. What did the dragon offer that he, the Boy Wonder, couldn't? He felt a pang of jealousy. He remembered when she finally came from the room, in her white clothing. For those brief few hours, she seemed absolutely blissful. She was in love with the imposter.

These dreams over the past few days. They were really starting to get to him. He was feeling much closer to Raven yet he couldn't do anything. He wasn't sure what his feelings were for her. They got along fantastically on an intellectual level. Except when Robin had lost control of himself when hunting down Slade for the first time, she never said anything unkind or sarcastic towards him. She respected his opinion and decisions more than anyone else on the team and let him ask things that she wouldn't let anyone else. He had grown to really value Raven's presence. He knew by now that he wanted to get closer to her, but how much more...?

Robin realized that he had been spacing out again. The song was over for a few seconds and he was still holding on to Starfire. Though she had smiled at his continued touch, she looked rather confused when she kissed him on the forehead and then on the cheek and he was still lost in thought. "Robin?" the sweet alien asked, her voice becoming concerned. He was starting to feel drowsy.

Robin let his hands drop from her sides. Oh, no. She tried to look satisfied, but she was poor at hiding her emotions. Robin could tell she was disappointed at his lack of response. The ambience and music was perfect, just like she had hoped, and there had been no magic.

Feebly, he tried to explain, "Sorry, Star. I haven't been sleeping very well lately. It's starting to catch up."

She looked at him for a short and then did her best to smile hopefully. "Then might you retire for a little bit? It is barely even the afternoon."

"Thanks, Starfire. I'm just going to take a short nap." Everyone in the room was staring at him, and it made Robin feel even more uncomfortable. He didn't mean to ruin her moment or embarrass her. He hurried himself out of the lounge and took a seat in a chair by the kitchen while leaning against a corner. He could still hear party music but the lights here were turned off.

Robin saw Beast Boy peering around the corner, giving Robin a sympathetic frown before going back to the party. The last thing he saw before he felt his body go warm with sleep was Starfire holding out her hand to Aqualad again.

**OOO**

Almost immediately after going unconscious, he felt himself in a lucid world again. He didn't find dreaming so soon so strange any more. A room materialized within vision. It looked very much like the audience chamber of a legislative body, though the chairs and table were hewn from stone. The dim lighting, threadbare surroundings, and the music of a muted pipe organ from a place unseen made this place seem like a stereotypical cult chamber.

The people gathered didn't do much to contradict this impression. They all had a single wax candle in front of them. Except for their faces, all were completely obscured by dark blue robes. They were hunched over their seats, murmuring angrily. On the speaker's platform, a plain-looking woman between the years of middle and old age was waiting for the talk to die down. Behind her was a human woman, barely out of her teen years, dressed simply in a grey sweat shirt, jeans, and tattered sneakers. She was pretty at one point, but her pale, gaunt face with glassy brown eyes and stringy black hair looked haunted.

Next to the woman was a little girl of 5 or 6, dressed in a plain black dress. She stared impassively at the crowd, her amethyst eyes unblinking. Despite the ponytail, the dark purple hair and pale-grey skin easily indicated that it was Raven.

"Order! Order!" The older woman shouted. She was scanning the gathered anxiously, despite her attempt to put on an angry look. All eyes were now forward to her, though there were still some voices. "Has the Council of Azarath made a decision?"

One of the robed figures stood up and held out his hands. He clapped twice and letters of fire appeared in the air near the center. He couldn't tell what the number in green fire indicated, due to the alphabet, but the one with red fire clearly had a zero. All of the gathered Azarathians began talking amongst themselves again.

Above the drone of the crowd, the man who conjured the letters announced, "The decision is unanimous, by a vote of 483 to 0. Raven, the child of Arella and Trigon, shall hereby be executed fro-"

The woman at the center slammed her hands on her podium and bellowed, "Order!" The room became silent again. Her voice was filled with contempt. "As chairwoman, I must state that I am extremely disappointed in my peers. How can you in good conscience vote in such a despicable way?"

A large, strong woman near the back stood up suddenly. Her robes did little to conceal her form. "Having the child here places all of Azarath in danger. The prophets have looked into the future; her very presence beckons disaster. For the safety of the people here we must kill her immediately." She sat back down.

Raven squirmed on the platform but was shushed by her mother placing a hand on her shoulder. The chairwoman shook her head. "But execution? We are pacifists. It is the code of Azarath. We have not even punished one of our own for any crime in the past eleven years, let alone with capital punishment... it goes against the teachings."

A skinny old man with a wispy beard stood up. "It may be, but what about the people living on Earth? Of Tameran? We cannot risk the lives of billions of people for our teachings. They do not even know we exist. Don't make it sound like we are being cowardly." He, too, sat back down. Robin sensed a tension in the crowd. No one dared speak a world, but that was more out of solidarity in their decision than a desire not to upset the chairwoman.

The lead councilwoman sighed darkly. "We have been working very hard to teach her to control her powers since birth. The outbursts like the one at the square will not happen again. We just need to train her more."

A middle aged man stood up and had his arms crossed around his chest. "You are being selfish. That outburst that destroyed the library injured dozens. Your training is and will be a failure, for she is the spawn of the destroyer Trigon. There is nothing left for her but death." He sat down, seemingly smug at the hundreds of agreeing murmurs he got.

The chairwoman looked behind her frantically towards Arella, who was just staring forward with an apathetic look, not unlike her daughter. She said in a quieter voice, "D-do you have anything to add? Say something! They are going to kill Raven!"

There was an awkward silence. Not looking at either her daughter or her benefactor, Arella stepped forward, right next to the podium. "As her mother, I say that even though I would rather her live, you must do what you feel is right. This child was forced upon me to be used as a tool of evil. I have been rarely even permitted contact since birth. If it will truly help others, then do what you may."

There was a collective gasp from the legislature at Arella's callous words. The old woman looked stunned, taking a step back. She then trembled with rage. "Fools!" she screeched. "A life isn't just to be bartered for your protection!"

"It's for everyone's protection. You must remember that, Azar." A voice said.

"No! Come with me, young one. Quickly." She scooped Raven up in her arms. Her mother glanced sideways but said nothing and did nothing. There was a subtle outline of light around her body and the chairwoman faded from sight. The Council of Azarath rose as one and hurried out of the chamber, about to riot. Voice came all about. "Find her! And the child!" "This treason against all life must not go unpunished!" "Warn the populace!"

**OOO**

Robin felt heartsick, even though he had guessed at what happened to Raven. He never knew it was this bad for her, from the very beginning. There was also something very strange about the dream. Somehow or another he could feel the temperature in the room. It was somewhat warm in the chamber, despite all of the rock. But feeling anything was impossible without a body. Could this dream bond they had be getting deeper?

He then felt very foolish. He had suddenly been so sleepy that he forgot that Raven was supposed to be sleeping at the same time, so that she wouldn't have to worry about him seeing her thoughts and memories. He tried to mentally force himself to wake up but discovered that still didn't know how to truly do it; only block it out. But it wasn't totally without effect. He was slipping back into true unconsciousness, but he felt the presence of someone else there. He wanted to say or do something to the other presence, but found it impossible.

**OOO**

In contrast to Jump City, which always resembled a cosmopolitan, Californian town even in the winter, Gotham was a very dreary place. The skies were a solid mass of cloud, so much that even at noon it was practically dark. The fog and grey snow did nothing to help. Further, from what could be told, this was the bad section of town. Trash was strewn about the streets and more than half of the street lights didn't work. A broken-down, rusted car was right in front of a broken-down apartment complex.

This did not put a damper on the mood of the youngster Raven was watching. Even though he was wearing a thick brown winter coat and had a black watch cap over his head, she easily recognized him as Robin. She hadn't seen him out of a costume for years, especially not without his mask. He had two presents in his arms, one an expertly wrapped box with a thick blue bow and the other done with newspaper and tape. He went inside the derelict apartment complex and went up the steps hurriedly, only pausing to step over a sleeping, drooling drunkard. He knocked on a peeling door.

"Just a minute." came a female voice from inside. Robin was already grinning in a way she also rarely saw. There was the sound of several locks being unlocked and then the door opened.

This was a girl that Raven had never seen before. Still a teenager. But older than Robin, who couldn't have been more than 15 or 16 at the time. She was very pretty, in a way Raven hadn't really seen before. She had cuteness, no doubt, but her eyes and smile showed confidence and strength. She had blonde hair vaguely like a cross between Terra and Starfire's, very long and blonde but also bushy. She had dark red lipstick on and was wearing a pink terry cloth robe. Her tone of voice was very inviting, almost sultry, her baby blue eyes twinkling. "Hi, Tim! Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Stephanie. How're you doing?"

She grinned at him and opened the door more. "Better that you're here. Come on in, sweetie. Take a seat."

Robin came into her apartment. As a contrast to the rest of the building, Stephanie had really fixed up her place. While she couldn't do anything about the mottled wallpaper and creaking floors, she had the floor covered with tasteful rugs. Bookshelves, more seats and tables than really needed, and well-attended plants took up a lot of the floor space. Mirrors and generic pictures of nature made the room seem more spacious than it really was.

The only light was coming from the kitchen while scented vanilla candles were placed around the room. The heater was turned up a little too much, but neither teen minded. This apartment was very comfortable and homey. This place wasn't Raven at all, but she found herself liking the place anyway.

He stepped over a glass coffee table with a bowl of candy canes in it and sat on the couch, about to reach for one. Stephanie smiled at him playfully. "Ah ah ah. I want you to try these cookies first."

Robin reclined on the beat-up couch, taking his shoes off after placing the packages on the armrest. "I don't think the Boy Wonder has been trained to ingest poisons."

She came back in with a plate of lumpy-looking oatmeal cookies, placing it in front of him while she jumped on the couch. She immediately started leaning against Robin, who was receptive to her touch. "You mean Girl Wonder now. Go ahead. Oatmeal raisin with chocolate chips and walnuts." Girl Wonder? Raven mused.

Robin took a bite of one, then shoved the entire cookie in his mouth, smearing chocolate on his lips. "Mmmgufh." He gave a thumbs up of approval. She kissed him on the chocolate spot, licking it up. "Thank you."

She wrapped an arm around Robin. Her forwardness, her ease with touching him, and her affectionate gaze clearly indicated that she was his girlfriend. And he looked so happy. Raven wondered why he never talked about this girl, even before he became a full-time Titan. He was the only one back then who seemed to have had a life outside the team.

Robin held the girl in such a way so that she was lying lengthwise along his body. He was playing with the strands of her cloth belt while hugging her. They cuddled like that for several minutes in silence, just enjoying themselves. After eating his fourth cookie, Robin then asked, "So how has the whole Robin thing been going for you, Steph? I saw you on the news."

Stephanie's eyes became vacant and her smile waned. "It's going fine. Mr. Wayne's nice, but the others are..."

Robin frowned from behind her, but brought his lips to her left ear anyway. "Are they still being cold to you?"

"Yeah. You left some pretty big shoes to fill. It's going to take me some time before they accept me as Robin, you know?"

He nibbled at Stephanie's earlobe for a bit. Though Stephanie responded with a content sigh, he looked a little too on edge to do it for very long. "Well, they just have to. They just have to understand that I can't be Robin anymore and I'm not coming back."

She suddenly sat up and rolled around, lying on her side. "How come? You were great! You were really kicking some serious butt. And you were the leader of the Titans, too. In Jump City."

"Come on, Stephanie. I swore on my honor to Dad that I'd never pick up the costume again." Robin, well, Tim said, holding up both of his arms. Stephanie pushed his jacket off of him and was rolling up his T-shirt to lift over his head.

"He wouldn't have to know. He doesn't know that you're going to a sexy, female Robin's apartment who lives in the bad part of town." she purred, then starting to unfasten his jeans.

Timothy shook his head. He gently moved Stephanie's hands away and pulled his jeans down to his ankles, leaving him in only a pair of plain white underpants. "It's not like that. He pretty much knows what we do... he's just really worried about my safety. I'm not really into Robin much anymore now. Dad's finally walking again and the boss has been pushing the Titans more."

"What's wrong with the Titans? I want to join that group someday. It'd be pretty cool, just hanging out in a tower all day and not going to school and fighting bad guys in my free time." Stephanie asked. Her slender hand slid up and down Tim's leg, inching closer and closer towards the middle. Tim tried to appear calm and talkative, but Raven could tell he was becoming excited.

"It isn't all that great. The lifestyle's a little weird. They're all orphans and we fight some definite weirdos. They kind of look upon me as an outsider, since I only used to go on weekends and didn't have any superpowers." Tim tentatively undid Stephanie's belt, but left her lapels folded over each other. She propped her cheek on her hand, smiling seductively at Tim. "Don't stop."

"I don't know. I just felt like a pretentious manager. I've been improving so I'm not totally useless any more but I still had a long way to go. Guess I'll never know." Tim said, absently.

The girl gave Tim this sort of look, then chuckled. "No, I meant with this robe. Has it been bothering you that much, Tim?"

He looked startled, then sheepish. "It probably has."

She threw her arms around his neck. Stephanie's robe slipped a little bit, revealing a line of flesh down to her navel. "Hmm. Maybe I should give you your Christmas present early, then, lover. My body to be yours for the rest of this weekend. With appropriate lessons."

His eyes lit up at that, then pulling the cloth fully from her body. She let out a soft purr and crawled on top of him, smushing her bare breasts against his shoulders and kissing him on the nose. Raven suddenly felt awkward, as though she should leave. But like when Tim was training with his mentor, the dark girl found it impossible to even really look away. But a large part of her wanted to watch, anyway.

"Sweetie." Stephanie murmured, planting kisses on his cheek and then on his lips. She rested her mouth and forehead against his while her boyfriend returned them. Tim's hand slid down her lush blonde hair to the sides of her bosom down to her waist, squeezing. "Sexy." he grinned. He then goosed her rear, causing her to laugh.

"Mmm, this is the perfect Christmas. Presents from a cute boy who's also Robin and having my way with him. Not only that, but with a child on the way."

"W-what?" Robin practically shouted. He was about to lose his grip on Stephanie but she repositioned himself back on top of him and giggled.

"I'm just kidding. I was testing your reaction to a logical consequence of all this lovemaking we've been doing. Detective." She sat up and scooted down lower along his body, in such a way that Tim could feel her heat and need along his stomach. Tim shivered at the feeling. "Heh. For some reason, I don't mind being a father to a kid that's not mine, but I don't want to father any myself. Yet."

"I know. I find responsible boys irresistible." She pressed her hips against his, the lone bit of fabric around his loins the only thing preventing further contact. She leaned down while still sitting on him, like a cat, kissing him on the lips again as she coaxed him out of his shorts.

**OOO**

And so they spent the rest of the afternoon and evening and well into the morning satisfying the other. Robin being taught gently how to pleasure a woman and Stephanie fulfilling his boyish needs. Their bodies were slick with sweat at the overly warm room and at the unceasing act and both were sleeping in the other's arms. Raven simply didn't know that her calm, almost priggish leader had been like that ago... yes, he was inexperienced, but was also so passionate. What had happened to him?

**OOO**

It was the same cave Raven saw in Tim's dream. It seemed almost the same as before, except that terminals and hospital equipment were placed in a semicircle near the center of the room. The dank room once reeked of blood and sweat, but it was fading from the moisture of the cave. She could spot two figures gathered around a wheeled-in bed in the center. She instinctively felt alarm, but then saw Robin, in a paramedic's outfit. He had his hand over his face as he gazed at the person in the bed with such sorrow. The butler, Alfred, was scurrying around with syringes and swaps while dressed in the same outfit, turning on equipment in between giving emergency care. Robin looked as though he wanted to help but couldn't, and he was pacing about angrily.

"Calm down, young master." Alfred said, his voice sounding uncharacteristically peeved.

"How can I? I think he should go to a real hospital. You saw how he was... he was a corpse when we got to him!" Tim almost screamed.

"Almost. And master Bruce would never allow that. You might as well have killed him right there."

"And this is so much better." Robin sneered.

Raven got a closer look at Bruce and felt a rare twinge of pity. Robin was right to be so worried. Someone or something had destroyed his mentor. Before Alfred was able to stick a moist wrap on it, several of his ribs were sticking through his chest, out of his skin. One arm was massively swollen around his shoulder, and he was covered with cuts and lacerations, especially centered around his head: his face was a swollen black and blue lump.

Alfred tried to keep his voice calm, to lesson the impact of the grave news. "If it is any comfort to you at all, we are going to have to call a real doctor. His spine is completely severed."

"Oh my God... oh no, no!" Tim's fists balled up but his face had an expression of pure despair.

The patient's eyelids slowly fluttered open and glazed eyes rolled to his left side. "... red? Robin..."

All of the rage had left Robin's face in an instant. He forgot Alfred's grim diagnosis, filled with joy at seeing his mentor come to so soon. Perhaps things would be fine after all. "Bruce!" he said, forgetting about the rule never to call him by his first name.

Alfred looked taken aback and was frantically going through a cabinet for something. "Master, please, you need your rest."

Bruce's eyes rolled to the back of his head. Robin thought that he had imagined it at first, but a tear rolled down his mentor's cheek. He had never seem him cry before. But as it came in a steady trickle, he couldn't deny that he was doing that. If his voice was stronger, it would have come out as a wail. "I've failed. Failed..."

Tim held a few fingers to his mouth. "Mr. Wayne?"

"He beat me. He won. He rules the city now. Bane was... like a monster and I was a baby against him. So weak..." he softly babbled. Raven could feel Robin's despair returning.

"What are you saying? You're alive, sir. And with friends." Tim whispered. Alfred said nothing and was now throwing equipment about on the floor in his mad haste to find something. "Young master, do not speak to him."

"Alive? Why didn't he kill me? I deserved to die... he was toying with me, torturing me for joy... and I let him." Tim picked up a piece of unbloodied gauze and dabbed at his master's cheeks. Tim felt a knot form at his throat. "I... Alfred?"

Alfred stood up suddenly and went to Bruce's side. He placed a mask over the patient's mouth and nose and placed the gas canister on the floor. "Yes, master Bruce?"

"Why can't I feel my legs?"

His manservant said nothing as he turned the nozzle on the side of the can, which began to emit sleeping gas. "You have suffered injuries."

Bruce groaned deeply, closing his eyes. "Then he didn't just beat me... he destroyed me."

Tim held both of his hands to his face, fighting back tears. Raven could feel his grief, at a good friend being crippled and his disillusionment at seeing a respected, invincible hero brought to the level of a crying loser. And for what reason? So an unknown madman could gain some glory. He looked like he was going to give in, until he pondered why this had to happen. His head jolted up. He felt an emotion replace the hurt. Raven recognized that expression. He had the same look on his face when he was fighting and thwarting the machinations of Slade for the first time.

Unrelenting hatred had taken control of Robin for the first time. And not the hatred brought upon by greed, selfishness, delusion, or anger, but the emotion Raven felt from him was something different. A rational, deliberate desire to hate this man. Even though he had a reason, it would not have made a difference. He was obsessed with bringing an end to the man who did that. Even Raven felt horrified by what he was feeling.

It had frightened everyone on the Titans when they first saw it, but they never said anything of it. Everyone felt relieved after they rescued him from being Slade's apprentice. He never had that look again, not even when he returned with Terra as an apprentice. Until his mask poisoned him. In his insanity, they saw that emotion from Robin again. It looked like he was going to be consumed by it. But she had saved him. Entered his mind and saved him when he needed it the most.

"Where are you going, young master? Bruce needs us right now."

"I don't care. I can't stand to see such a weak man." Robin growled, his voice dripping with fury. "I'm going to end this."

"Tim! Come back here! I order you!" Alfred vainly called as Robin marched out of the Batcave. He shook his head as his ward went away and went to tend to the broken bat by himself.

**OOO**

And that was that. Raven found herself lying in her bed on her back. This wasn't her room. This was the same bedroom as the other night, when Slade...

She immediately sat up and went off of the bed. She chanted 'Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos' to focus herself, feeling immediately uneasy. She though about Robin, who was no doubt seeing this right now. She felt herself about to panic and tried to control it, but remembered that her emotions had no impact on her dream. Nonetheless, she forced herself to become calm and went around the room to inspect it. She turned on her lights and illuminated as many trinkets as she could. But the room was still dark. And the shadows just became that much more sinister.

"Robin? Robin, can you hear me? Please. You need to wake me up. I'm getting scared..." she said to nothingness. She tried to force down the dread and began repeating her focusing words repeatedly, but to no avail. Raven frantically looked around the room, trying to take a step towards a more lit part of the room.

She felt two powerful gloved hands grip her around her arms. She felt her heart jump. "Hello, pumpkin. Thought that you could avoid me by taking an early nap?"

She thrashed in his grasp, trying to get free. But as always, it was futile. She couldn't call upon her powers and couldn't even make him budge by kicking him. She stood up and swung her head back to clop him on the chin, but he turned her around and forced her against a wall.

"You're rather feisty tonight. Delicious. But no, there's no Robin here." Raven could sense his lecherous smile behind his mask. "I saw those dreams. What exquisite fantasies you've constructed for yourself. I'm afraid he's not... the Prince Charming in distress as you'd like him to be. I painstakingly went over every detail in his life when he was my slave."

"Why do you care what I think?" Despite the situation, she felt a small amount of hope in her heart.

He stuck his face right in front of hers, in a motion reminiscent of a cobra. "It means that you are breaking our deal. When I wanted you to separate yourself from your friends, I meant both physically and emotionally. And you're fantasizing about him like a little schoolgirl."

The faint hope grew bigger. Slade didn't know that she really, truly was experiencing Robin's memories, not just her spin on what she told. If he knew the truth... she shuddered outwardly at the thought of this madman using the bond to get at him. It occurred to her how dangerous this was.

"You should have been clearer. My mind is my own." Raven stared at him with fiery violet eyes, refusing to back down.

Slade, in his gasconade, had overestimated his ability to enter her mind. But only slightly. "Spare me. You are an open book. Look."

He squeezed her arms harder, until his grip was a vice. She couldn't help but let out a groan of pain as she felt the birthmarks burn through her skin again, leaving her half-dressed as she did before. Slade pushed her towards the mirror in her room he did the other night and Raven was astonished at what she saw.

There were more of the marks on her body. They ran down her neck and sides of her face now. She felt a searing sensation on her palms and soles of her feet and knew they were there, too. Raven's hair had grown out even longer now, to the small of her back. After seeing how she changed, the mirror's reflection changed to reflect a new scene.

It was the scene of Robin and his old girlfriend in her apartment, sprawled on the couch with both of them naked. Except that in place of Stephanie, it was her. Smiling and seducing him. She couldn't help but blush, even if the memory did not go like that at all. Even the conversation was different. When they referenced details of Stephanie's life it came out as chatter.

Then it showed the scene of the Batcave. But instead of the cave it was Titans Tower, and instead of Alfred and Bruce it was Cyborg and her. She was lying in the bed, invalid, while Tim was grieving for her. Slade curled an arm around her waist. "Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Then listen well. Forget about your dear Robin, wretched girl. He can and will never love you. He saw you for your useful powers. That's all." As his hand creeped further up her stomach, scritching along her breastbone. Filled with disgust, she tried to push it back down with both of her hands until Slade relented. She said nothing in response, but what she was thinking must have been showing in her eyes.

"Oh, I am not speaking just to torment you. It's merely a fact. His heart is with your best friend Starfire, pumpkin. My old apprentice would not give you a second glance." His free hand grabbed underneath her chin and lifted it up, so that Raven could look squarely into the mirror. At herself and at Slade.

"And why not? She's a much more likeable person than you are. She's nowhere near as selfish and mean. They didn't even want you on their team at first, then only paid you attention because they were told to."

"That's not true." Raven said, closing her eyes. Slade jolted her chin to force them back open.

"It is. You never want to do anything unless you like it. What was the name of the first person who showed any interest in you?" He embraced her more tightly, pressing his head against hers. Raven, against her will, spoke his name. "Malchior."

"Oh, yes. How repulsive he must have found you. He even told you that you would have no friends but him when you showed some backbone. And you believed him." He suddenly slid his hand underneath Raven's top, causing her to shriek at the touch. He squeezed and kneaded as he saw fit. "And still he betrayed you at first chance." He chuckled foully. "They even liked Terra, a planted traitor, better than you."

"Stop it, Slade. Just... stop." Raven did not understand how her voice came out so small.

"I still can't understand why you hated her so much. You and her are one and indivisible... lies, secrets, uncontrollable powers. Ah. She can't hurt anywhere near as many people." He withdrew his hand after letting it sit there for so long. He could feel the trembling of her body. That was enough for him. "But there will not be love for you. Not Robin, not anyone. You are not allowed such happiness. Only a fulfilling of animalistic urges and wants. True to your kind." Again, he pushed her, this time in the direction of her bed, causing her to stumble onto the mattress. He advanced ominously. "Have you ever wondered how your mother was taken? How she spawned you against your will?"

"No!" came a voice from behind. Robin had bounded down from the ceiling and swung his bo staff, connecting with the back of Slade's head. He sent the criminal sprawling knees, and swung again at his neck, sending him to the floor. This was not part of the scene; the surprise on Slade's face was total before he went unconscious. He immediately rushed to Raven, an indescribable emotion having stricken his face. "Raven, are you alright? Raven..."

**OOO**

Robin woke up with such a start that he nearly fell from his chair. He had caught himself an instant before he was about to scream her name. Saliva had run down his mouth and his brow was damp. He immediately stood up. Raven was in trouble. He bounded into the middle of the room the Titans were gathered at, to everyone's surprise. They were sitting around on the couches turned to place the fireplace, talking amicably to each other. Though it felt to Robin like he had woken up in the middle of the night, it was still mid-afternoon.

Cyborg was the first to notice him. "Hey, man." His eye squinted and his smile went away. "Are you all right? You look like you had a nightmare."

"I did. About Raven. She's in trouble. We really have to go back to the tower." Robin stated. His arms were crossed around his chest resolutely. Titans, honorary and the East and West, looked at him intently.

"What's going on?" Aqualad asked, both of his eyebrows raised in interest. Robin hardly took note of the fact that Starfire was sitting right next to him, almost touching. "What's the problem?"

"It's..." Robin hesitated. He actually didn't know of a reason he could rationally explain; it was mostly in his gut. He had a bad dream and Raven was experiencing the same thing? "Look, trust me. It involves Slade. Let me..." He retrieved and flipped open his communicator and called all of the communication terminals back at their HQ. "Raven? Raven? Do you read?"

"Raven here. What, Robin?" The view screen showed her at the tower, awake and dressed with her hood up. She was standing in the hallway and staring at him through the screen. Everything looked normal on her end.

"I sensed you were in trouble. What's wrong?" he asked, starting to feel foolish at his outburst. He should have done this before alerting everyone on his team. What was wrong with him?

"Nothing's wrong. I wanted some green tea." Her non-committal look did not break for an instant. Robin was starting to feel as if he imagined the whole thing.

"It's. Raven, you were..."

"If that's all, I'm leaving. Raven out." The little view screen showed static as she disconnected. He was about to call her again when he felt Bumblebee's hand on his arm.

"What are you doing, child?" she asked. She was still sitting down in the couch.

Robin gently moved free of Bumblebee's grasp and placed his communicator back into his suit jacket. "We're going back to the tower. Raven needs us."

Speedy had no qualms about interfering in the business of the other team. "Uh, Robs? Did you not hear her? She's fine and sounds fine and probably doesn't want you to come back."

Beast Boy looked as though he wanted to add something, but leaned forward and looked at the floor. Cyborg gave Robin a puzzled look. "I agree. I don't want to drive two hours back for nothing. What makes you so sure?"

"I can't believe I'm hearing this. A teammate might be in trouble and you want to stay at a party."

"Look, it's not even close to the first time we left her alone before." Cyborg pointed out. "What the heck were you dreaming about, anyway? You said Slade."

"Yes. Slade somehow broke in and invaded the tower and-"

Robin knew it was a mistake as soon as he said that. Starfire, Cyborg, and even Beast Boy's looks turned skeptical. "Right. Robin, you were having a nightmare."

Starfire's look turned briefly unfeeling. "She does not even want us at the tower right now, possibly. You would be making her upset if you were to come back unannounced."

He was about to start yelling, but understood that his story sounded extremely suspicious without details. Like he was trying to sneak out of a party. He tried to think of a way to approach this from another end. "Beast Boy, remember what we discussed yesterday? I felt something bad happen over that."

"Robin... people have nightmares. Especially when you're all dark and gloomy all the time. Sometimes you just gotta relax." It was obviously paining Beast Boy to have to be as vague as possible. He usually just blurted out his thoughts. Robin really regretted bringing up Slade's name now. His one advocate had turned against him.

"Yes. You cannot just chase after every bad premonition you have. Robin, just sit with us and relax. You are obviously very stressed." To Aqualad's obvious disappointment, the Tameranian scooted further away from him, leaving a bare seat.

He felt the wisdom in their words. What they said made sense. He found himself wanting to have fun and not to worry his friends... but the irrational part of his mind told him to go back home. He had been listening to that part so much more lately, so why stop now? "You may be right. I'll just go back by myself."

Everyone looked stunned. Mas piped up, "¡Senor Robin¿Adónde usted va?"

"Pensé que usted vino en un coche." Menos added.

"I'll find my own way home. Thanks." Without looking back, Robin left the room, indeed wondering how he was going to get back.

**OOO**

"Ah!" She cried, waking up so suddenly. As always when she woke up from nightmares she immediately began focusing, to suppress any spillover emotions from getting out of control. Forcing herself to be calm and rubbing her temples, Raven opened her eyes.

She was in the living room. It was very sunny out for a Winter's day with no wind or snow. The snow that was there was rapidly turning into slush. The television was still on, turned to the history channel. She was watching a vaguely interesting program about Alexander when the lack of sleep and warmth in the room led her to sleep. She inspected the room, looking for anything amiss. After a nightmare there was always at least something broken. She hated those dreams--for some stupid reason she couldn't control herself in them, couldn't manifest powers, couldn't run away.

She was pleasantly surprised at first to discover that nothing was broken but then was worried. This was extremely abnormal. She glanced sideways underneath the tree, towards the basket. Silkie was in it, awake and gurgling contentedly. If her power went out of control then the silkworm wouldn't just be sitting there happy. Raven tried to decide what to do first. Her powers had never behaved like this before and... Robin. Robin was the one who woke her up, even being in another city. He saw everything for sure. And he was the one who saved her.

She was just too confused. The dark girl just did not want to think of it right now. She went down the corridor back to her room when she heard her communicator buzz. She unattached it from her belt and then Robin's voice came through the speaker. "Raven? Raven? Do you read?"

"Raven here. What, Robin?" Not wanting to explain herself, she put her hood up over her head. On the other monitor was him, looking disheveled. His hair was mottled and his skin looked clammy.

"I sensed you were in trouble. What's wrong?" His concern was real for her. Typical Robin.

"Nothing's wrong. I wanted some green tea." She tried to look as blank-stared as possible, even though her heart was racing. If she said something was wrong then Robin would get the others worrying, too.

"It's. Raven, you were..."

"If that's all, I'm leaving. Raven out." She tucked the device back onto her belt, immediately feeling bad about it. Why did she act so cold to him? It was just so he wouldn't make a scene, she told herself, but the real reason was because she was embarrassed. Of seeing his moment of weakness and of him seeing hers. She went into the kitchen, to make some tea so it wouldn't be a lie. After she put the cup in the microwave she took out a box of vanilla ice cream that belong to Cyborg. Her sweet tooth was acting up again. Another weakness. Slade had said that she was putting on weight, and he was right in that nasty way of his, but she couldn't help it.

She sat at the kitchen table, by herself. She was just eating from the box, trying to imagine how good it tasted instead of thinking about the dreams and how pathetic she looked and about Robin... Raven choked on a bite. What Slade had said was true, all of it. She felt a lump in her throat and water collect around her eyes.

**OOO**

Raven was going towards the bathroom with a towel and a pair of large and small scissors when she heard footsteps come down the hall. Robin. He still had some frost in his hair from the snow outside and his clothes were soaked from earlier melted snow. Despite his palpable discomfort, he still went towards her. He had a relieved look on his face. "Raven? I came back from the party by a taxi. Are you okay?"

She suddenly felt very vulnerable. Instead of a laconic quip, she answered, "I told you I was fine. Where's everyone else?

"Still in Steel City. I came back by myself after I had that dream." She knew Robin could tell she knew what he was referring to. "Are you positive you're okay?"

"I told you. It's under control." She tried to move past him to the bathroom, but he stepped in front of her. Not in a way to directly block her but just enough to make her have to move again. Buying him time for another question.

"Just, if that's just your self-doubt then... he was saying some really horrible things. Do you really feel that way about yourself?"

She murmured in her most exasperated voice, "I don't want to talk about it, Robin. I really don't." She slid between him and the wall, opening the door.

"It's not true. None of us feel like that."

Without a word, she walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She picked up her scissors and was about to pull back her hair. She didn't shut it completely closed, however, and Robin was standing at the doorway.

"Raven..." He said, softly. Through the mirror, he could see how sad he looked. "Why do you reject other people like that?"

She placed her hands on the cool sink and leaned her forehead against the mirror. She didn't want to look... it was heartbreaking. After a long silence, she said, "It's better for everyone if people don't get too close to me."

He walked into the bathroom, right next to her. "You saw my dream. Y-you're wondering why I'm not like that anymore, aren't you? I mean, I could feel you." Robin leaned against the wall, holding a hand to his forehead. "I let her down. Remember when I didn't show up on weekends for all that time? Stephanie replaced me after my father made me swear never to do this again. But I thought she was in over her head... my old team didn't care much for her and she was taking on too much risk. I tried to bring it up to her but I wasn't forceful about it. She either ignored me or asked me to not care, that she had a handle on it." Robin was quiet for a bit, letting the weight of his words sink in.

"She tried to take on a really dangerous man to prove her worth and was tortured to death. I still feel like I could've done something about it. Raven, there is no way you can ask me not to care. Because I do. I do so much it hurts."

She lifted her head off of the mirror. She found herself emboldened by his words. She always knew that if it came to it, she could share her most secret thoughts with him. It looked like it was coming to that. "Robin, what happened to you was dangerous. If my feelings went into your mind... something terrible could happen."

"I have worse memories than that. You said it was just doubt."

"It is. Slade manifested as an emotion. The way my father did, too. Didn't Cyborg and Beast Boy tell you about that?"

"They didn't."

"Well, it is that. A lot of strange things happen when you're dreaming. Your inhibitions come free." That's as close as she could hint right now.

Robin stepped closer to her, just a little bit closer than what would be reserved for mere friends. She saw Starfire enter this space often, but this was the first time Robin had done it to her. "Do you want to talk some more about it?"

It was a curious feeling, but from some place in her heart she found the courage to open up to him. To say 'yes'. She nodded and he smiled in return. But then looked closer. He saw something underneath her hood. "Is that..."

She pulled down her hood quickly. It was hot and full of static with her longer hair. The same length she had when he rescued her from Slade. She saw the shocked glimpse in his eyes and turned to face him. "Robin, please. Don't worry. It's fine. I swear that it isn't Slade."

Raven herself was taken by the almost instant acceptance on his face. "Okay." He rubbed the back of his neck. She knew the feeling. Despite the intimacy they shared, it was very hard to know where to start. But he wanted to help her. "Then... what is it? You can't tell me that was just your dark side, Raven."

"It's not just doubt. It's a collection of negative emotions."

Robin didn't seem to understand. "What about all those emotions? When they were listing off the kidnapped ones, they had a few good ones in there, too."

She sighed darkly, placing her face in her hands. He gets so close to the truth yet couldn't see it. "Oh, Robin."

He moved a little bit closer to the girl, believing that she said something under her breath. "Mm?"

"Weren't you listening to the dream? He's right. I can't have this. Or these feelings."

"You mean love? Raven..." Comforting Starfire was a lot easier. A quick, cheesy speech about believing in yourself and always having the love of your friends would make her feel better. He had the feeling he'd be insulting her by saying something like that. But he had to say something. "You already have that."

"No, I don't. Not like I want." She saw Robin take a step back from her, from what he saw. She couldn't hide the woe and longing from her amethyst eyes. "I... real love. Affection, romance. But I can't have it."

"Stop saying that. You will have love. It doesn't matter about your powers or any of that."

She bowed her head down and shook it from side to side, her purple hair falling between her eyes. "Even without that. I won't have someone to love me. The person I want loves someone else."

Robin was speechless for the longest time. Gently, he reached over and took her hand, holding it in both of his. She looked up at him vacantly, not expecting the words to come. "No, he doesn't."

Her expression was disbelieving, but there was a small amount of light returning to her eyes. "But you are with Starfire. She wants you and you want her. I don't want you to do this out of pity for me. I'll just have to accept... this." Her voice sounded bitter. Raven thought she had pushed the heartsickness from with Malchior out of her mind and found it was returning.

"Raven, I don't want Starfire. I mean, I do, since she's a good friend, but I don't feel the same way about her I do about you. The dreams... I'd never feel comfortable sharing that part about myself with her. And your own dreams, I don't think it's stupid or embarrassing that you feel that way. No matter how things went, I want the dreams to continue." Robin squeezed her hand a little tighter. Her eyes locked with his, unflinching.

"I want to be closer to you, Raven. I really value our bond and our friendship... and if you do, too, I want to take it further."

She could feel her pale skin turning red. Cyborg commented on how cute she looked when she blushed; he and Starfire said that she did it more often than she realized. Robin must have thought she was cute, too, because he was smiling at her. Earnestly. She felt her heart soar.

"Robin... come to my room." Her voice was naturally melancholy, but Raven did notice how much less sad she sounded. She had the feeling that it would be like that around her new loved one from now on.

**OOO**

This was the second time Robin had been in her room since it was built. He stood at the doorframe often, yes, but never really wandered in, except when the dragon burst through his ceiling. Raven wondered why she never invited him in before; he was the least likely to mess with something or poke his nose where it shouldn't go. It was probably because he truly respected her boundaries more than anyone else. Robin was looking around to see the artifacts she stored but didn't seem particularly impressed or scared or grabby. Then again, from what she saw of the Batcave it looked rather creepy, if cool to her.

Robin looked for a place to sit down but she really didn't have a place other than her bed, so he just stood up. Raven went around the room, waving her hand over the tops of some of the candles to magically extinguish some of the lights. She found it both awkward and comforting for him to be in her room. Since the last two nights, she spent as little time in there as possible, even sleeping on the couch. His serious, caring expression made the ambivalence worse, but she really liked this new feeling. Robin the Boy Wonder wanted to love her. She knew deep down that there would be the problems of her powers and emotions and... the dark man in her dreams.

But Robin wanted to help her feel love. Just this knowledge made all of those other problems feel unimportant.

She felt like she was introducing herself to him all over again. But she found out that she was appreciating even these little gestures. Just like her first love. "Welcome to my room."

"I figured."

"Just so you know, I don't want to hear about how unfair it seems that Beast Boy has been in here more times than you." She said, testing the waters by sitting next to him. "He snuck in all of those times, anyway."

He smirked. "We're going to fix that, right?" He didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he scooted closer to her.

"We'll see." She crossed her bare legs together and twitched one on top. Like a bunny rabbit.

Robin gave them a quick glance. Just enough to notice, not stare. "Are you feeling antsy? I know you don't like to go out much, but I still feel kind of bad that we left you behind."

Raven nodded. "I do want to do something. With you." It occurred to her that she never went somewhere with another boy by herself. Well, she did for missions, but not just to hang out. She missed how Starfire used to drag her along everywhere, until Terra came along. Starfire probably got tired of constantly bugging and dragging her, she thought, even though she actually found that kind of fun.

"Well, let's do something. Right now. A good, old-fashioned date." He held out a hand invitingly towards her.

The dark girl took his gauntleted hand and held it, looking a little bashful. "I don't really care for the stuff most people do. See cheesy movies for the heck of it, go to stupid concerts. Sorry if you find that boring."

To her surprise, Robin breathed out a sigh of relief. "Good. I hate doing date stuff just to do date stuff. It's cold out, but I know a place I've been meaning to take you." He stood up, which prompted her to stand, too. "Let me go take a shower and put on some regular clothes."

"I'm sorry, what?"

Robin shrugged. "Only celebrity superheroes who want to make a big production out of that go in costume. I thought that you'd look at that with contempt."

Raven smiled at him. "What do you think? I don't want people to go pointing and staring and say, 'oh, look, the Birds are going out'. It kills the mood."

"The long hair will help. It'll cover your chakra and makes you look like someone else."

She ughed, tossing some locks behind her shoulder. She was going to cut it again but Robin had a point. She could put up with it for a few hours. "What about you?"

"Going to change clothes, wash the gel out, and..." Robin grimaced. "This pains me physically, but the mask is going to have to go."

"You're kidding. Those things are your symbiotes. That's just too cruel to them."

He chuckled at her. "See you in a bit."

**OOO**

After beating Robin to the shower, it didn't take Raven very long to get dressed. Mostly because she didn't fret about her appearance. Not that she didn't have much to pick from. She picked out a pair of raggedy jeans, stiff from being shoved at the bottom of her drawer for so long. She contemplated wearing her leotard underneath her clothes until she saw the only decent shirt she had was a black tank top with an silver ankh stitched in.

Terra had gotten her that as a present, back when she was a Titan and still sort of her friend. She didn't want to put it on and the discovery that she didn't have any bras that would fit anymore nearly killed the decision. Having support sewn into her costume made her not think about wearing those degrading things. She put it on and looked down.

Bared midriff, too much cleavage, and the fabric around the chest was much too thin. Even if it was warm for a winter day's out, there was no way she was getting caught in this. Terra was skinny enough to get away with wearing this, but not her. To her relief, she was able to find a pink hoodie sweater stuffed underneath a pile of unopened Invader Zim sheets Beast Boy got for her birthday. 'Isn't that the cartoon that all of the goths like?' he teased, which got him a bonk on the head from Cyborg. He was the one who got that for her, along with a copy of the Papyrus of Ani--the Egyptian Book of the Dead. Beast Boy muttered something about how unfair it was to use knowledge from Nevermore.

She looked at herself in the mirror after putting it on. Except for her somewhat grey skin, she was surprised at how normal she looked. She was curious as how Robin turned out. She gave her hair a swift brushing and walked down the hall to Robin's room, knocking on it. He made an unready noise and in a few minutes he was there.

"Are you ready?" he asked, smiling at her. His eyes showed approval at her appearance, she noticed. She also found herself staring at him. He was wearing a pair of stonewashed jeans that were intentionally put through the washer so often that they were turning a speckled white, a platinum necklace, and a black tank top made of silk. He also had a dark red windbreaker on that had his old team on the back: The Gotham Demons.

His hair was intentionally spiky and tousled, but it looked good on him. Without his mask, she could see his eyes fully. Robin had bright, gentle, almost girlish blue eyes. Not really blue... they were so bright that cyan would be the right color. No wonder he wore such an intense-looking mask. He wouldn't look the least bit intimidating without it. He obviously hadn't worn those clothes for a long time. Though he took better care of her civilian clothes than she did, they still shrank from not being worn and from him growing up. His tank top clung a little too tightly to his chest, his jeans hugged a little too tightly to his...

Raven shook her head. It still didn't feel right thinking of him like that. But this was definitely something to look forward to. "Sure. Where are we going first?"

**OOO**

She had to admit that she never expected him to take her here. A tour of the Wailing Woods Cemetery. Jump City did have a cemetery in Eastern part of town, which was very strange for this sunny East Coast city to have. But Robin had taken her to the old part of town by bus, eschewing the conspicuous R-Cycle. Though they had practically been all over Jump City to stop crime, she hadn't really been to this part of town. Being right in the midpoint of Gotham and Florida, it had a curious mixture of Gothic and Creole culture that she found charming. This part of the city was strangely ignored by tourists, who preferred the shiny and cosmopolitan sections.

The tour guide, a weaselly but unassuming man in a wrinkled suit and in his mid 20's, was better than she thought he'd be. He was cynical but had an enthusiasm about his job, making wry remarks about some of the tombs. She had heard about the more exotic methods of burial but didn't think that Jump City had anything more exciting than burial. She, Robin, and four other tourists were looking at a wall of metal doors.

"... and in case the whole solar power thing goes under for the environmentalists, they'll always have these. During the rainy season back during the mid to late 19th century, they stuck corpses in these. Since the soil here is loose, one good flood would pop all of the coffins out of the ground and send them floating downtown. That's no good."

The other tourists looked horrified. "This guy is amusing. In a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-him sort of way." Raven stage-whispered to him. Robin had a strange expression on his face, too, but he was enjoying himself. Good.

"... so they stuck your loved ones in these things for two-hundred and two days and it cooked you into nothing. Of course, it was also briefly used as a method of execution for thieves. Note the scratch marks on the inside of some of these doors here." He crushed past some slush-covered thistle weeds, getting his already questionable suit wet with plant ichor and snow. "Now, you'd think that with all of the agonized screaming, that's why they would call this place the Wailing Woods. Not so much. Here you'll see where the section reserved exclusively for people who engaged in witchcraft."

"Witchcraft." Raven echoed, deciding to let the other tourists go first. They could pick up all of the moisture.

"Yes, witchcraft. You'd probably be suspected on the spot, with hair like that. Now you and your boyfriend come on."

Raven wasn't miffed by his comment as much as she should be. She liked the sound of that. Boyfriend. She couldn't see Robin's face, but suspected that he did too.

**OOO**

They left the cemetery right before it got dark. Not because either of them found it scary, but because it was too hard to see. Not like the city sector was lit much better. It would be a perfect occasion for a boy to show his protective side to his girl, but Raven would overpower any street gang by herself. Still, she walked alongside Robin down the nearly empty street, her shoulder occasionally brushing up against his. "Thanks, Robin. It was... original."

"You're welcome. You want to go get something to eat? I know this jazz club." He was sneaking leans against her, too. Eventually she just got fed up with the swaying motion and reached for his hand. She expected it to be calloused without the gloves, but it felt surprisingly soft.

Raven gave him a curious look. "How do you know all these places? You leave the tower less than I do."

"Just part of the patrol I sometimes do late at night, when I can't sleep. Some habits..."

They were silent as they walked down two blocks, just enjoying the other's company. One of the things she liked about him: Robin didn't constantly feel the need to make small talk or make observations or crack little jokes. As they approached, Raven could hear the muted cry of a trumpet being played. Robin's eyes immediately perked up with interest. She didn't figure him for a jazz lover, as she often found him listening to some heavy metal hair band, but it fit him.

The outside of a club was a nearly featureless brick facade that someone could have mistaken for just another restaurant while passing by. Though the music, the colorful graffiti on the side walls, and the smell of Cajun food somehow made it very distinguished when one was actually looking for it. As soon as Robin opened the door, she felt a blast of heat and a spicy, soupy scent assault her senses.

It was a relatively simple place. The club seemed pretty popular, though most of the people in here were middle-aged or approaching it. All of the tables had a green and white checkered cheesecloth and a small wax candle in a tinted glass dish. With no doorman, Robin just led her to an empty table and pulled up a seat for her. Both sat down, glancing towards the front of the club. The musician they heard outside the building walked off stage, a gangly, pimply teenager wearing punkish clothes who didn't look at all like a jazz player left the stage, giving a pause in the music. He was just a notch above average, in her opinion.

Raven found the heady smell beginning to pique her appetite. "Smells good."

"Yeah. Cyborg wants to cook some gumbo, but certain people are against it."

"Too bad for him. I'm sick of pizza and tofu dishes." She leaned back, settling in the chair. It was comfortable, but someone had turned up the heat in the club too much. But she was not looking forward to taking off her sweater.

It wasn't too long before a slender, doe-eyed blonde woman came to their table with a few menus in hand. Raven didn't care for the look she gave Robin, even if it was swift. "Evening, welcome to Shifty's. Can I get you something to drink?"

She did not expect Robin's answer. "A bottle of this place's white wine, please." he said, as naturally as an adult would. Despite the fact that he was still obviously a minor, let alone 21.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask for some..." The waitress hesitated at the wink he gave her and the one hundred dollar bill he slid in her direction. "One water, then." She quickly pocketed it and handed out two menus to each of the two teenagers. "Take your time. I'll be back in a few minutes with your orders." Looking very pleased with herself she slinked off.

"I'm surprised at you, Boy wonder. Bribes and underage drinking." Raven said, her tone having just a hint of mirth in it. She looked into her menu.

"I used to be a rich, spoiled poseur. I picked up a few things."

"Were one of those things tricking girls into going into sleazy joints?" She commented, showing him the menu. "'Sensual Jambalaya'? 'Amorous Alligator Tails?'"

Another advantage of Robin's mask, it hid his blush. Too bad, because he looked really cute when he did. "... I didn't know, really."

"I know. You don't seem like that kind of guy. Actually, really, when you're not in that costume... you seem sort of shy."

"That's because I am. People don't notice because girls are usually the ones that pull me into doing date stuff."

She couldn't help but feel good about that. She was the first one Robin asked out, rather than a lady asking him out. "You mean like Stephanie and Starfire? They're always hugging and hovering around you."

Robin raised an eyebrow at her. Raven wondered briefly whether she came off as jealous. "Despite what you saw in that lewd dream," he corrected, "'Spoiler' didn't hover around me nearly as much."

"Whatever. I think getting all giggly and huggy in public is lame."

He smiled lightly at her. "That's why I think I'm going to really like you."

She buried her nose into her menu, pretending to read intensely so he couldn't see her face. Thankfully, the waitress brought a bottle of wine with some fancy French label on it and a basket of freshly baked French bread. Reminding her that all she had for lunch was some ice cream. "Ready to order?" she asked, looking primarily at Robin again. "You know, you seem awfully familiar."

"I doubt it. I'm just vacationing from Gotham with my date." He paused, just long enough for the waitress to get the hint but not long enough for Raven to say anything. Not that she would have. "I just want some boiled crawfish and some dirty rice." he said, pointedly leaving off the titles.

"I just want oysters Rockefeller." She was a little startled at how vampy she made that sound, since the order already had a reputation as is. But she couldn't help it.

Her date and the waitress must've picked up on the subtext, too, as he looked abashed and she looked amused at Robin looking like that. "Sure. I'll be with your food in a little bit."

Another musician came up on stage. His brown skin was turned black through age and sun and he had quite the gut. Still, his trousers and blouse were very neat and he had a jolly expression on his face. He made some small talk with the audience with the microphone before playing on his saxophone. Even she had to admit that he was very good. The melody matched the mood of the restaurant perfectly. He started out with fluffy, light pieces at first... but by the end of the second song they were flowing into something darker, deeper.

This was very romantic. She felt her insides become warm and gooey. "I like this, Robin. I'll be happy to consider this your Christmas present. You usually get me something corny."

He looked a little hurt by that. "I thought you liked them. Well, in that terse, vaguely sarcastic way of yours." He was working on uncorking the wine with the fingers, as the waitress forgot to give them the screw.

"I never said I didn't. I just like smooth Robin better." Great, now she was flirting with him. He did seem interested in her, though. Robin filled both glasses, a hint of a smile on his face. She thought about her sweater. It did its job outside in the cold and she'd probably kill herself later for doing this... but she reached for the bottom of her sweater and pulled it over her head.

Well, seeing Robin's expression was worth it. He never expected her to be wearing that thin, tiny tank top underneath. Raven fought back the memory of that time at the beach, just enjoying the looks that he was giving her while trying not to stare. Something about him made her want to act girlish.

Trying to change the subject, he said, "Well... um, after this, do you want to get home? I kind of don't want them to catch us in these clothes. Especially you." His voice had that protective edge to it, which she was growing fond of. No wonder why even someone as sweet as Starfire got so possessive.

"Just what I was thinking." Out of nowhere, she felt a twinge of insecurity. It felt out of place with how she had been acting. Or rather, it reminded her that her current behavior was a deviation from how she usually was. "Robin, I... it's silly, but, I don't want you to think that this whole thing was some sort of pity-me setup."

"I don't. I've felt this way for awhile about you. I just never knew if you liked me or not."

"I have. It's just, I still feel heartbroken over Malchior... and what with the dreams and my power." She felt her stomach turn. Robin could still be in danger from all this. But instead of being a victim... he had actually saved her. If the dream bond grew deeper, could she trust him to save her? she wondered. "And I thought you were with Starfire. I thought I was just saving myself."

Though there had been periods of silence all throughout the date, this was the first one that really felt awkward. Both helped themselves to the wine and music and after a couple of glasses Raven found that she was relaxing again. The waitress brought over their food after a few minutes and left the tab at the table. She picked one of the half-shells off of the bed of rock salt, dipped it into the butter. Bliss. They ate their food without another word and the awkward period passed them by.

After he had sucked the meat out of the last crawfish shell, he smiled at her again. "Raven."

"Robin."

"I think I know the solution to all this, all the trouble you've been having."

She and the other Titans learned to be suspicious when he got that conspirational gleam in his eye. He usually did things by the book or predictably; when he didn't things like the Red X or the UFO sting operation came up. Yet she found herself genuinely curious and hopeful. "And...?"

"The bad dreams, they have a common theme to all of them... being unwanted. But, what if..." He leaned closer towards her. She was afraid that he was going to mention Slade, but he was being painstakingly tactful about it. "We did things in the real world made them moot?"

"You're losing me." she lied. Actually, she knew exactly what he had in mind. And was looking forward to it.

"You know. Really being together. Hanging out all of the time, cuddling and kissing, deep conversations, dates..." Robin was being demure. He didn't want to come off as too eager or forward. If only he knew.

Still, she couldn't resist the urge to tease him. "You conveniently sandwiched cuddling and kissing between neutral terms, I noticed."

He blushed again, which made it impossible to mask her own. He said, slowly, "Well, that is part of being boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Looking forward to it." She mumbled, placing another piece of fluffy bread in her mouth.

**OOO**

They got home at around nine PM. They didn't talk much at the club, just enjoying enough wine as to not get drunk and the jazz music. Since it was wintertime, it became as dark at it was going to get. They held hands on the way back and gradually moved closer to each other. By the time they got back to the Tower, Raven was practically embraced by Robin... though the wind was picking up and it was about to get bitterly cold, the dark girl did not want to put the sweater back on. She appreciated even the smallest touches of skin against his.

He led her up to her room, letting go reluctantly. "Guess we'd better get changed before the others come back. Well, ah, good night."

"Good night? Robin, what time did your parents used to make you go to bed? Why don't you come in?" She smiled invitingly at him and opened the door. Robin came in after. Almost all of her magical lights had gone out by now. Her room had just enough illumination in it to make it look mysterious.

"Sure. What do you want?"

She very pointedly closed the door after him. Though the other Titans weren't back yet, she just wanted the privacy. "Robin. I feel silly asking this, but... about the whole helping me thing." She sucked in air through her teeth and her voice felt very small. "I was wondering if we could... start that tonight."

Robin said nothing in response, only standing there for a few seconds. For a second, she thought that she had offended him. But then she felt his strong, birdlike arms around her waist, pulling her closer. He was standing in a shadow and she could barely see him, even so close to him. She suddenly felt vulnerable in just the tank top, especially as she felt his fingers trail along her bare sides.

She was up against him now, her legs pressed against his. The wine was combining with hormones to make her very warm. Again, she was struck with the urge to kiss him, but this time she knew that he desired the same. Raven pressed her lips against his, her clumsy first kiss. She wasn't expecting him to taste so good. He somehow snuck a few sticks of gum on the way back. Then she felt his. His sweet taste, combined with the firmness and softness made her spine tingle. Her hands slid up her new lover's chest, as she wasn't smushed completely against him, then up his neck and to his cheeks, cupping them. Raven loved the contrast between the way they kissed. Her many tiny, needy ones returned occasionally by an impossibly precise, deep mashing.

She groaned softly, running her fingers up his cheek and into his inky black hair. It felt soft and thick, like fur. A part of her hoped that he'd never use that stupid gel again. Her emotions were running wild, yet Raven had enough presence of mind to notice that nothing bad was happening. She was still in control. So she decided to give into passion. She felt his fingers slip underneath the straps and knead her shoulders for a few seconds before slipping them down to her elbows. Then she felt the fabric being pulled down, below her breasts and being bunched around her stomach.

Being undressed excited her immensely; unable to wait any longer, she pulled the the cloth up to his neck and bore her chest against his, sliding up and down. She could feel Robin's stance become unsettled for a second by her sudden forcefulness. The rising and sinking of torsos as they breathed would have been enough, but she could feel two opposing fingernails dig gently into the side of her bosom, tracing lines into the flesh. She felt his tongue sneak into her mouth. The combined sensation simply drove her wild. She broke the kiss, whimpering openly as she ground up and down her lover, enchanted with the feeling of his nipples against hers. Her hand slipped down to the waistband of his pants.

She did not expect for him to catch her wrist, stopping her. She looked at Robin with confused eyes. He smiled sadly at her. "Wait. This is just our first night together. I don't think we should go that far."

She cursed under her breath, but he was right. Still, Raven couldn't just wish her lust to begone. If only she didn't move so fast. They could still be enjoying this; the mood was killed now. "And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" she almost snapped. Her nipples were painfully stiff by now and wanted more.

"I'm certain you'll think of something." He grinned, stepping back. She unwillingly let go and just stared at him. Perhaps she could change his mind if she looked longing enough. It didn't work, though, as he pulled the hem back down. "See you tomorrow?"

"Cute. Anyway, good night, Robin." Her voice was affectionate but still had enough edge in it to let him know that she wasn't pleased being left like this.

He kissed her on the cheek one last time and left, leaving her alone. She flopped on her bed into a pillow. She had fantasized about doing that before, many of times, but to her dismay it happened a lot faster than she wanted to. But it felt so good... and sexual pleasure was something she got so little of, which was dangerous with these newfound hormones. She didn't change back into her leotard, yet, hugging a pillow against her. She rubbed against it, enjoying the cool pillow sheet against bare flesh, but it was quite inadequate.

After she had calmed down, she indeed did change. She heard the others trounce down the hallway and felt a strange source of pride. He wanted to be with her more than anything today. It wasn't exactly the dream date, but as far as she was concerned such a thing didn't exist. No, this was more than satisfying for her.

She thought about Starfire and how she would react to this secret romance, about Christmas, about many things... and found that it just didn't matter. She felt heavenly. So Robin really did want to love her. Trigon, Slade, everyone... they were wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. Since she was invited onto the team, Raven always had the vague sense that she saw something special in him.

She crawled underneath the covers after gathering her thoughts, soon falling asleep. She did not dream that night and neither did Robin, but it didn't matter. It was the most restful sleep she had in the longest time.


	4. Still Dreaming

**Author's Notes:**

**Hi, peeps. I know it's been quite awhile since my last update, but work and all... probably the biggest reason why this fanfic was put on the backburner was because of how far Robin and Raven had been advancing over the course of the show. Season 4 increased their interaction by leaps and bounds and gave us shippers a lot to snack on and some respectability. I was so pleased at the course of the show that I sort of lost my motivation.**

**But even with it all, I realized that there are a lot of stories and plot hooks possible with these two that the series didn't explore and probably won't explore. So the work with the fanfic continues! Hooray. As always, my fanfic chapters are ridiculously long, and this one is no exception. It's the longest one so far and probably won't be the longest, so I suggest that you get a snack or something.**

**I hated leaving off the fanfic at chapter 3, because it ended on a much more, well, sexual and out of character note than I wanted to. I didn't just include that scene for people to drool at. Well, I did, but it's actually an important plot point to explain why Raven's acting that way and just to give a feeling of, well, wrongness to the entire fanfic. But it probably won't interfere with your impure thoughts if you just ignore it. As an apology for the last chapter, this one is a strict PG. I also said that the last chapter would be the last one in which things went good for Raven, but, well, the show changed all of the rules and ironically forced me to look at their relationship from a different angle. So I lied.**

**And, um, I apologize for Starfire's portrayal a little bit, too, but seeing Stranded and Date With Destiny in a row, where she did not come off looking her best, sort of set the tone for her character in this. Also, remember that scene before with Arella and the council? I wrote that before Prophecy came out. No, I'm not going to change what I wrote. Just like I had planned to originally use Dick Grayson but changed my mind in chapter two... but that will actually be integrated into the story.**

**Also, if you like this fanfic, please come to this message board, Forbidden Love, in my profile. Lots of in-depth Robin and Raven discussion and a lot of musing about episodes and other characters.**

**Lastly, thanks to everyone for their support with reviews and whatnot for this fanfic, asking me to continue even though it looked like I had given up on the fanfic. I had thought about it at times, but you people convinced me to continue to the bitter end. Whatever that may be.**

OOO

Robin's pleasant surprise, he did not wake with a jerk or rise with a numbness in his body, as he did for as long as he could remember, but with a pleasant warmth. He felt refreshed. So he became suspicious. The suspicion became fear for a short second as he realized that the warmth wasn't coming from him, but something laying across his chest. He pulled back a pink blanket, something that he knew he'd never use, and saw a certain violet-haired girl with her arms languidly wrapped around his waist. Her cheek was pressed against his breastbone, and though she wasn't smiling, she still looked absolutely delighted. Of course, the louder-than-light snoring sort of ruined her peaceful image.

Without disturbing Raven, he cased his surroundings. It was early morning, though still later than he was accustomed to waking up. He then felt a sudden nakedness, which then turned into panic as he remembered what happened last night. Oh, God, they didn't go all that far... but as the shock wore off, he saw that both were still fully clothed. The feeling was coming from his lack of mask. Too relieved to care about the serious breach in his disguise, he tried to piece together what had happened. After their date, they came back... but that didn't make any sense, given their current position. They had both went to their rooms. Unless they woke up to do some middle-of-the-night cuddling. While that thought had a strong appeal to Robin, he and Raven definitely would've had the presence of mind change back into their costume. And neither would be lazy enough to just fall asleep.

Wait, did they in fact go back to their rooms? For some odd reason, he remembered Raven's sleepiness and her getting into bed, but not his. Apparently, what happened last night was a dream. How much of it? He couldn't be sure. They were still in the clothes from last night and they got back to the tower. He could still taste his dinner from last night, so logically up until when they parted for the night was 'real'. He felt slightly chagrined that they had just imagined their make-out session from last night; but really, would Raven had gone so far in the first date? It made sense that it was her dream. The thought of her being a severely repressed witch definitely had its appeal, yet...

Robin heard an mmm sound and felt her subconsciously cuddle against him. He missed this feeling with Stephanie, he mused. Raven tilted her head up at him, slowly withdrawing her arms. A serene smile was on her face, which in conjunction with her sleepy eyes and tousled long hair looked adorable on her. He couldn't help but smile back. But then she jolted and scrambled off of him onto her feet. She let out a soft groan and rubbed her eyes.

Robin asked, his voice more puzzled than concerned, "Raven, what's wrong?"

She brushed some strands of hair out of her eyes, immediately putting on her usual stony look. "I'm sorry, but, last night was a mistake. I didn't mean to do that."

"You mean how we went out last night?" He pushed the pink covers aside, still sitting on the couch. "I thought you had a good time. I did."

"I mean what happened after... we came back." She straightened out her tank top, her countenance and voice showing disgust. Robin began to feel anxious; he could tell he was losing her again.

Robin shook his head. "Raven, it didn't happen. It was just a dream."

Instead of comforting her, it appeared to have the opposite effect. "I know that." she growled. "You weren't supposed to..." A crimson blush spread along her

features, and she quickly turned her head away. "... so silly."

He saw that he had misinterpreted her action. Raven was embarrassed about what she had dreamed. He came closer to her again and she didn't move away. A strange feeling went through him. He knew that he wouldn't have been able to do this as recently as two days ago, but he could tell exactly what she was feeling, and why.

"I know what you're thinking. And there's no need to be ashamed. It's normal." Robin said, empathically. A part of him felt like he was going in circles from the other day, but he just couldn't expect her to push aside these feelings so soon.

She sighed, her shoulders tense. "Robin, if anyone besides you told me that, I would ignore them. I know you're right, I just can't help myself. In either way. I hate feeling like this."

At the mention of feeling, his detective mind brought up a side question: if she was feeling so strongly, what about her powers? So far, nothing came up of it. But then, they had all had been in dreams. Should that have made a difference, though.

"Feel however you want to; they're your emotions. Just... feel. It makes me happy to see you feel, no matter what." Did he really just say that, he wondered. He was always predisposed towards speeches like that, but even he felt like it was a little much.

"You are so corny, bird boy." But his words did manage to touch her. The deadened look in her eyes became less intense. Both felt better at this. "But thanks for understanding. Didn't mean to overreact." she mumbled. She looked back into his eyes intently. She had no idea why he insisted on wearing that silly mask all of the time. Like her, she could understand him wanting to keep a barrier between himself and the others... but it still seemed arbitrary. His unmasking could only help. When he looked at her like that, he just radiated understanding and integrity.

Her head tilted downwards, the rustle of hair reminding her about her date again. Raven was going to cut it, but stopped on his suggestion of looking normal.

It was funny. Both of them revealed close aspects of themselves to the other that ironically let them hide from everyone else. For some reason, she felt that keeping her hair long was part of an unspoken agreement with him, one that involved him unmasking in front of her. The details of the deal were uncertain, but she could tell that whatever it was that she liked it.

Raven then thought about all of the little unspoken deals and arrangements they had between them. The others in the tower and in Titans East sometimes remarked on how little they talked. Cyborg had once asked her in all seriousness whether they even liked each other. She gave him a neutral, slightly sarcastic answer: he annoyed her the least, and that was good enough.

But ever since she entered his mind to save him from Slade's influence, things became much different. To be sure, she really didn't think much of it. The idea was just to remove the haze from his eyes and to calm him down. It didn't save him by itself, of course, and when it did its job she just forgot about it. Though months later, she remembered when he approached her after that disastrous attempt at a birthday party. She was surprised and flattered that Robin would remember that gesture. She didn't know it meant that much to him.

But she liked having it. Even before the dreams around this Christmas break, she secretly treasured the intimacy they shared. Even if had it never lead to romance, it just made her content. Maybe even happy. She wanted to share more of herself with Robin and no one else. It would be a thing they had that no one else would have. Not even Starfire.

Ah, Starfire. Though she had subconsciously teased with the idea of being 'with' Robin, the Tameranian had convinced her to give up such thoughts since the very beginning. Starfire wasn't shy at all about her feelings for Robin, and they definitely shared many more cutesy moments than she could even dream of. And she had been there for him at the beginning when she couldn't, back when Slade was threatening to ruin him and...

She pushed those thoughts out of her mind. She wasn't sure of this ambivalent, slightly-negative but mostly-positive emotion going through her. It felt too good to be jealousy. "Robin?"

He looked at her with renewed interest. Raven had been lost in thought and he was just waiting for her to finish. She could feel the hotness returning to her cheeks and ears again. She never thought of herself as bashful, at all, until Beast Boy pointed out that she blushed more than anyone else on the team. Even more than Starfire. She was starting to believe it was true. Not waiting for herself to regain composure, she murmured, "Actually, I'm sort of glad you... we shared that. That dream."

Oh, that stupid Robin and that knowing smile. He did it in just such a way to show that he was glad, too. "Did you want to talk about it some more?"

"Careful." Raven's face was staid except for the fading redness. When it was completely gone, her eyes twinkled with humor. "If you are really all that interested... we could talk later tonight."

Robin enjoyed the slow pace of the holiday, but he was suddenly wishing the day would be over with. They had planned to go Christmas shopping with Starfire and the others, but...

He frowned deeply. "I'm going to have to tell her. Today." Now it was his turn to feel awkward. He owed it to Starfire to explain all of this but only had a few minutes to think of what he was going to say.

She knew what the Boy Wonder was talking about. "Good luck. See you." Without another word, she slipped from the room, to change out of the girlish clothing.

OOO

Robin knocked on the door to Starfire's room. Next to Beast Boy, she was the latest sleeper out of the crew and it was almost certain she wouldn't be up yet.

He was unsure of how he was supposed to be dressed for this; he wanted to get back into costume since everyone else was always in it, but the real reason was because he wanted his mask back on. But appearing to Starfire in a mask when he didn't have one on with Raven would just appear insulting. So after taking a quick shower and getting mostly into uniform, he decided to talk to her.

There was a loud, unwomanly groan on her side of the room, followed by her voice: "Just a minute." Her normally lilting voice seemed strained, as if she was trying to suppress an emotion.

"Star, it's me, Robin. I need to talk to you."

Faster than he expected her to answer, Starfire opened up the door fully. She was still in the dress she was in last night, only it was very wrinkled. Her emerald green eyes were bright as always, but he could see the outline. Her famously cared-for hair was currently a wild, bushy mess that Robin found oddly attractive. She tried to look calm, but she was horrible at hiding her emotions: Starfire radiated disappointment and dread.

"Certainly. Of what issue do you wish to discuss?"

"About last night. As you may have guessed... I cut out of the party early to check on Raven, and we ended up going on a date."

Starfire didn't flinch one bit. She said, plainly, "We had noticed this. Cyborg and Beast Boy found you two collapsed outside of our home when we returned, in non-working attire."

Ah. That explains that. Robin drifted away from the conversation to think on this: this definitely confirmed what Raven said. This was an unforseen danger of the bond. He'd have to work out some sort of sleeping schedule, which he was not looking forward to. While she wasn't lazy, there would be no way Raven would agree to his Spartan hours. At least she got up at a time he could deal with.

"Robin, did you want to say something." Starfire gently reminded. He felt like kicking himself again. He had dozed off in thought longer than he wanted to.

"I'm sorry, Star. It's just, things have been really weird between us lately. I don't know, it's just... Starfire, I didn't mean to plan all this. I just had a bad dream and went back home and Raven and I..." He felt a little too apologetic. They hadn't been officially 100 going out, but everyone knew that Starfire practically considered him her boy. It hadn't been a problem before, as he had no other girls, so he had just ran with it. And, though it was selfish, he liked someone as sweet as her having a crush on him. It hadn't created any problems, up until now.

Starfire wrung her hands together in front of her anxiously. "Was this prompted by your nightmare... or do you have you feelings for our reserved friend?" That he didn't have for her, of course, Robin mentally added.

"I do." He admitted. Saying that was easier than he thought. "But it's not that simple. Lately, when I've been asleep and dreaming, good or bad, I just feel so close to her. We've been sharing our deepest memories. Against our will." He ran a hand through his hair. It felt cheesy the way he was describing it, but it was the truth. He didn't know whether Raven would appreciate anyone knowing about how deep the bond was, but he really owed it to Starfire. "It was always there since she went into my mind, but lately it's just been overwhelming."

Her eyes suddenly glowed with a fierce light. Her teeth ground together; Robin forced down the urge to take a step backwards. He only saw that look once before, and that was when that annoying brat Kitten was harassing him. He thought for a second that she was going to hurt him, but the menace in her stare faded some. Starfire was struggling with the urge whether to be true to what she was feeling or to suppress it for her best friend's sake. She never had to worry about doing that much before, as her feelings rarely conflicted like this.

Her voice was very even. "Robin." Her shoulders tightened. "When I am engaged in the hanging out of sorts with Raven, she has often expressed an attraction for you." Robin feigned surprise at this; he had already guessed this from other dreams. But seeing that look, she clarified, "Not overtly, but we always knew. But we always knew it was just... I am not sure what it is, but it was not supposed to lead to this."

Which she had no real intention of doing all along, of course, thought Robin. Haltingly, he said, "I know. When I woke up from the party last night, I saw one of her dreams. Raven just seemed so... sad. She hates herself. I couldn't just ignore it." There was an extended pause. He wanted to avoid saying what was next, but he realized that it was true. This was happening so fast and so intensely that there's no way he had intentionally sought it out. "I'm not sure how I could have... felt all that."

For a reason Robin could not understand, Starfire's anger subsided. Her voice was becoming more hopeful. "Did you and Raven have after-courting physical contact?"

Robin thought about last night. He remembered the heavy petting that came after they got back and realized that it felt so real that he almost used that as an example. But other than that, he didn't remember kissing Raven or doing really much other than holding hands briefly. "No. Except for this morning, when she woke up hugging me." He wondered whether or not he should mention her fantasy, and decided against it.

"We put you on separate couches and... ooo!" Starfire looked merely indignant now, which was a noticeable contrast against jealous fury. "Robin, I do not like saying such scurrilous things about our friends, but it seems like Raven is trying to break us apart."

Robin shook his head quickly. God, this woman was possessive. Starfire didn't have many personality faults, but the ones she did have were just intensified by her lack of other ones. "Star, it's not like that at all."

She gently placed both of her hands on his arms. "Robin, I do not know about the depth of the bond, but... I just do not understand about this. What about all of the time we've shared? What about our bond? I truly thought we had such a bond ourselves...?"

There was something about Starfire's touch that made him reconsider all of what had happened. What was it that made him seriously want to leave Starfire for someone else that night? Even if he still had reservations about accepting her completely as a girlfriend, it was just being wishy-washy by now. He just didn't know what to think by now; he hadn't even really questioned their relationship up until a few nights ago. He even was wondering whether he could really be with her through thick and thin, showing sides of himself. But then, don't things like that take time? That's how it was with Stephanie. He was reticent with her but eventually grew to adore her.

Viewed from anyone else's perspective, the whole with Raven seemed like an infatuation. Until now, he didn't do or say much to her, even though he did treasure those times. And he really enjoyed being on a date with her. He could definitely see him taking their relationship further. But then, weren't those urges typical of infidelity? Maybe he was just attracted to the exoticness and excitement of it all. If this was the case, it would be inexcusably unfair of him to leave Starfire on this whim. Once again, the small irrational part of his mind reminded him that he wasn't being true to himself.

"I know. I'm sorry." He said, breaking eye contact with her. "I just thought that I would be helping her. She seems so lonely... but we should re-evaluate things."

Robin wasn't sure whether he imagined it or not, but he saw the Tameranian's expression become unusually pensive and focused. He was told he got the same look on his face hours before he came up with that abortive Red X idea. "I understand. But... Robin, what you are doing is not helping, if I may say so. We should try other ways to bring Raven into the ways of joy if that is truly the case."

He knew that he shouldn't have pressed, but he couldn't help it. "If that is truly the case?"

She didn't even flinch. "I did not mean to imply anything. I just feel that this is not healthy for her... or for us."

OOO

Raven entered the kitchen after putting on her uniform from yesterday. No way would they see pink on her while she was conscious, even though only Robin was up at this hour. Since her birthday, she had a strict habit of cutting her hair every third day before getting in the shower; this deviation from her routine was caused by her much longer than normal hair and the fact that she wanted to get something to eat before anyone got to the table. Her mood was anxious, but strangely blissful, and she didn't want to ruin that with conversation.

Unfortunately, both Beast Boy and Cyborg were already wake. Cyborg, she could see getting up early without getting prodded, but not his friend. Especially on a holiday. Both had bowls of that disgusting Chocolate-frosted Sugar Bomb cereal, digging into it like starving peasants. The youngest Titan even had sugar poured on his. Trying to remain inconspicuous, she went towards a cabinet to dig out a box of her favorite green tea and some microwavable oatmeal. She tried to pretend like nothing was amiss, but both stopped eating and were looking at her intently.

Cyborg finally asked, noncommittally. "So. How was last night, Rae? We didn't see you after we left for the party."

"I had a fantastic night. Thanks for asking." She meant to make the sentence sound sarcastic, but her voice was a lot less grumpy than usual, even bordering on cheerful. Great.

"Yeah, well, we found you passed out near the front door with Robin. In the middle of winter. In regular clothes." Cyborg said. His approach and tone was that of a bull ready to lock horns. Raven wondered if she should take the bait, but then saw Beast Boy start to visibly squirm.

Deciding to avoid Cyborg's statement at the moment, she asked, "What's your problem?"

Beast Boy broke immediately under the minor strain. "I'm sorry, Raven, I told! I told the other guys about... you know... your bond."

She felt her blood begin to boil. Her good mood gone, she asked very slowly, "How did you find out about that?"

Cyborg sat up straighter in his chair. "Look, we all knew about it... we just didn't know it would have any lingering effects." He added, pointedly, "You said that it wouldn't, after Robin got better."

Raven's brow furrowed as she reached for a bowl to put the oatmeal in. "I didn't know that it would." That was a lie, she knew. After that night, they couldn't help but become closer. They shared the vaguest emotions and she could look into his mind... it just hadn't been that intense up until now. But how could Robin just tell something that secret about them? She liked it that way, even though it caused her pain. "When did he tell you this?"

Beast Boy laced his fingers together. "Well, like, it kinda... isn't Robin's fault. He told me if I promised I wouldn't tell anyone 'cuz it was really bothering him." he quickly added. He noted Raven's anger fading, but she still had a hardness to her features. "But when you came back last night, me and Cy and Star were just kinda curious."

Cyborg placed a hand on his green friend's shoulder briefly. "It doesn't matter. The point we're trying to get to, is everything okay with you? You've been acting strangely, you know?"

"He means more strangely than usual." Beast Boy piped up, trying to relieve the tension with a joke.

Raven ignored the comment, filling both a bowl and a mug with sink water. "I'm fine. Really." It wasn't really a lie. But what could she tell them? That she was actually happier than she had been in a long time, even with that moment? And she wanted more? She knew that Cyborg had prided himself on the catalyst between Robin and Starfire's romance and was protective of the alien... he wouldn't appreciate her doing this.

Cyborg ate another spoonful of cereal, and continued. "Why would Robin just drop everything and go on a date with you? I mean, you have to understand, this seems really out of left field." He knew he was about to get into a very touchy subject, so asked in his most diplomatic tone possible, "What have you two been dreaming about?"

"I don't feel like talking about that." She placed both the bowl and the mug in the microwave and set the timer. "Why do you care?" She crossed both of her arms under her chest while she waited for both to heat.

Cyborg's lower lip curled above the other. He was sure that he was going to get a straight answer, but once again forget how resilient she was in not answering questions. "Just that this could get really dangerous, passing out suddenly. Besides, you need to talk to Starfire. She's really mad at you."

Her plain oatmeal and tea being done, she pulled both out of the microwave, going by the counter for a spoon. To Cyborg's mild surprise, she looked at him and nodded. "I know. I promise I will." Or Starfire would force the issue. She'd rather be the one to approach her friend, so she could get a word in edgewise. She sauntered back off in the direction of her room.

The cybernetic teen barely had time to call to her: "Hey, don't forget, we're going Christmas shopping after break... ah, well." He shrugged at his luck.

"She took that rather well." Cyborg commented. At least he got a promise out of her to smooth things over with Starfire.

"I'm surprised that she didn't kill me." Beast Boy added. "Then again, she does have a lot on her... 'mind'. Heh."

Cyborg rolled his eye and continued eating his cereal.

OOO

Later that day, after Robin had assigned morning chores, everyone piled into Cyborg's car. As usual, Cyborg was driving with Raven sitting next to him. He was glad that she still wanted to come, even after all that went on yesterday. Robin sat behind her seat and Beast Boy sat in the middle, separating him and Starfire. The ride to the Jump City shopping mall was very tense. Starfire nor Beast Boy spoke much and it was clear that she was resenting him for getting in the way of her crush. She had planned to make up for all of this with extra Robin time. Fortunately, the mall wasn't very far from the tower.

After fighting through hundreds of other late Christmas shoppers looking for a spot, Cyborg was able to secure a reasonable parking spot in the garage by winking at a departing fan through a window. "Okay. Level D6. Don't forget where we are."

Robin got out and immediately stretched. He thought that after going out in regular clothes, he'd dislike going out in public in uniform for non-vigilante business. But it just fit right now, for some reason. "Okay, Titans. Here's the game plan. We split up, buy what we need to, then meet at Stuffy's for lunch. Then we go ice skating."

Starfire held a finger to her lips, smiling demurely. "Robin, let me suggest an optimal arrangement. Perhaps it would be best if I went with..."

Raven stood in front of her. "Actually, Star, I want to go with you. We don't spend a lot of time together."

The alien looked at her friend curiously. "Oh?"

"Whoo! Boys night out! C'mon, dudes, I want to show you this awesome present I want for Christmas." Beast Boy said, leading Cyborg and Robin towards the entrance.

"Man, what's the point of wrapping the thing up if you're just going to point out what you want?" Cyborg grumbled, following. Robin went with the two, leaving Starfire and Raven behind.

OOO

"Man. That was close. That's the third time I've saved your bacon with Starfire. You can thank me later." Beast Boy said, after they were well out of earshot. Now apparently unconcerned about the awesome present he wanted, he was just making silly suggestions, like going to the pet store or the sporting goods center.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Robin asked, his voice low.

Beast Boy stopped, scratching his head. He nearly bumped into a few other shoppers. "Uh, stopping Starfire from getting in the way? She's kinda clingy."

"Getting in the way? Dude, they're going out. It's okay." Cyborg replied, putting extra emphasis on 'they're going out'.

Robin shook his head. He was already starting to get a headache. "Look, I can take care of this. Don't interfere with my business."

Beast Boy shrugged and started walking about. "Fine." All was silent for about two minutes. While they were on the escalator to the second story, he asked, with no tact, "So which one are you going to let down?"

"Beast Boy." Robin growled. Cyborg groaned loudly.

"What? It's an honest question. And we are going to find out anyway."

"I just told you, man, he's already got Star." Cyborg said, feigning irritation. Actually, the conversation was amusing him. "Besides, why do you care? Don't you like Raven?"

"Don't I like... ewwwww! That's so gross!" Beast Boy exclaimed, making a retching motion. Both failed to notice that Robin was doing his best to pretend that he wasn't with these two. "Like, what makes you think that?"

"You're always telling her your lame jokes and trying to get her to 'play with you', whatever that means. That's flirting in my eyes."

"Raven, she..." Beast Boy hung his head in shame, almost forgetting to step off of the escalator. "But... one time, I was trying to get her to play a video game. And... she gave me a wedgie. With her shadow powers. That was humiliating enough, but then she pulled it over my head." His eyes grew misty. "Over my head, Cyborg."

Cy chortled at the story. "Oh, I remember that. It's because you glued her hands to the controller, isn't it? I warned you."

"Look, that's not the point to the story. It's just that, well, I like Raven and all... but I can't like, like her like her. She'd kill me. Now Robin on the other hand..."

Robin put a hand over his face. He was so hopeful that the subject of the conversation would move off of him. "Why are we still talking about this?"

"You gotta face it sooner or later. Star's going to want an answer real soon. But of course, Protip: the person you want is Rae, because..." Cyborg squeezed Beast Boy's arm to make him stop talking, causing him to yelp lightly in pain. "Because he's a two-timer? Don't listen to this man, Robin."

"Aw, why not? It's not too late. You might as well. She's like perfect for you! You're both dark and moody and serious."

"Beast Boy, that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Besides, what's Star going to think?"

Beast Boy thought about this for a moment and shrugged. "Well, it's not like everyone's going to end up happy. Raven really likes you, dude. You know, all of those dreams she had. She probably has even more. You might as well maximize your benefits. Heh."

Robin stopped and whirled to face Beast Boy, his expression and voice icy. "I know you know better than to talk about that." The action was so menacing that a few shoppers paused to look at them.

Beast Boy held up his hands defensively. He was surprised at Robin's ferocity, but wasn't scared. He wasn't going to stop until Robin was going to make a decision. "See? Look at that, Cyborg, he gets all protective about her."

Cyborg was going to mention that he did the same for Starfire, but saw that Robin was getting angry. Trying to be the voice of reason, he said softly, "He does have a point. You're going to have to settle this fast."

Robin relaxed finally and began walking again, lost in thought. Right before he and his friends were about to stop by an arcade, Robin reached into his utility belt for a twenty dollar bill. He offered it to Beast Boy. "... look, me and Cyborg are going to hunt for your present and we don't want you to see what it is. Entertain yourself for a bit."

Quick as a flash, he snatched up the bill and saluted. "Can do!" He ran to the arcade, leaving him and Cyborg behind.

Cyborg looked at Robin curiously. "I thought we already had his present planned? That stupid Mega Monkeys game and the moped."

"I want to talk to you in private for a bit." Robin said, glancing around at the other shoppers. No one paid any attention to their conversation, so he continued. "You're right. I do need to choose. And I know who it's going to be." He didn't normally want to discuss his love life, but it was eating him up on the inside. All of his friends already knew what was going on and there was no point in hiding it.

Cyborg looked satisfied. "I knew you'd come to your senses."

"It's... it's going to be Raven."

"Her? Well, you already know my feelings. May I ask why?"

Robin went quiet for awhile, walking alongside his friend while they scanned stores. He already had something for Starfire, but he should get her another gift; she'd like any present from him. Raven was impossible to shop for, no surprise. "I know it sounds crazy, but you have to realize how intense these dreams are." At Cyborg's distasteful squinting, he added, "It's not like that. It's like we're sharing our most personal memories and feelings. I'm remembering things that I thought I forgot. Stuff that I would probably never share with Starfire, to be honest. And it doesn't feel odd or awkward... it just feels right. And Raven, ever since then... I've seen sides of her I've never before. I never realized how close we really were."

Both slowed down as they passed an electronics store, trying to hold back typical teenage boy curiosity to go inside. After a long pause, Cyborg said, slowly, "Then what's all this stuff about Slade? Like that outburst last night."

Robin's held tilted downwards. He knew Raven would be very uncomfortable discussing that, but it was mostly his fault. Figures that Cyborg would make some kind of connection. "She says that it isn't really Slade. Just a vivid, recurring nightmare."

"Are you sure?"

"I trust her. Completely. I was there, and it just... it didn't feel like Slade. I don't know. I didn't..." Robin didn't want to admit that just the mere thought of Slade drove him crazy, but he was able to control his anger. If he really though that Slade was doing this to Raven in her sleep, he didn't know what he'd do.

Clarification was unnecessary; Cyborg understood where he was going. "You're not convincing me this is a good idea. How long has this been going on?"

"I was just aware of it in the past three days. But according to her dreams, she's been looking into my mind for at least a couple of weeks."

"She... was just reading your mind all this time and didn't tell you? And you don't care?" Cyborg sounded incredulous, almost angry.

"I don't. Like I said, I would definitely mind if anyone else did it... but you know what?" Robin was starting to make connections. People were saying that he was acting much nicer and more calmly lately. He was sleeping a lot better and felt more at ease. But the other Titans noted that Raven was being nicer, too. He had noted it himself. But he knew how stressed and upset she was over all this, but last night and when he saw her sleeping, she seemed so happy. He couldn't bear going back to the old days. But there was just no easy way to explain it. "It just works."

"That's... you don't know how horrible you sound, man. It sounds like you're dissatisfied with one relationship or get bored with it so you lead some girl on."

Robin shook his head. "I can't deny that's what it looks like. I know it is selfish of me to let Starfire think this for so long, but you have to understand... this is really recent. A week ago I would've just been satisfied the way things are. But now I'm not sure. It's like I found this person who has a piece of my soul."

"Your... you soul? You're crazy. Star doesn't mean anything to you?" Cyborg crossed his arms on his chest.

Robin said, "Don't put words in my mouth. I love Starfire, I really do... just not in that way. I realize that now. With Raven, I might be able to..."

"'You might be able to.'" The cybernetic Titan repeated. "You're going to throw this all away and you're not even sure?"

"Cyborg, are you even listening to me? This is recent. I've only gone on one date with Raven so far. Physically, anyway." This conversation wasn't angering Robin as much as he thought it would. It felt good to be honest with himself for once. That he was beginning to recognize feelings he had for a girl all along, one that he didn't have for the one he was with.

"Physically? Man, I don't want to know about any wacky dream date. Where did you two go, anyway?" He was genuinely intrigued by this conversation. Maybe this was good for Robin after all; he was confiding to his friends in a way he never did before. They had passed several stores along the way and though Cyborg wanted to check a few out, he didn't want to break the flow of conversation.

"We went on a graveyard tour, then a jazz club for music and dinner." He intentionally failed to mention that he didn't remember what happened after that.

Cy shook his head in pity. "Graveyard tour? Old people music? What were you thinking, man? Whatever happened to normal dates like carnivals and concerts?"

Robin shrugged. "Raven had a really nice time, I thought. So did I. I don't like typical dates. They just seem like a place where you pretend to have fun because everyone else says that you're supposed to be having it."

"Is this supposed to be subtext, Rob? I can do subtext." He pointed at a store. "There's Hot Topic. Raven might like something from there.

"If you want." Robin smirked widely, then shaking his head. "I think she'd view anything from that store with the contempt it deserved. Trust me, do not buy anything from there if you want her to respect you."

"I better tell Beast Boy that. He got her some crazy Gamestation T-Shirts. So tell me, what would she like?"

Robin's eyes lit up as he started to go into detail. She liked collecting books, obviously, but more specifically diary books of people living in certain points of history. She was a big fan of anti-war/anti-totalitarian writing, with a special place in her heart for Mila 18, All's Quiet on the Western Front, and The Good Soldier Svjek. She enjoyed very small scale gardening, such as with hot pepper plants and banzai bushes but hated those pretentious Zen rock garden. Unlike the other Titans she enjoyed taking baths right after regular showering, so would probably appreciate an extensive bath time kit. He was about to go further into detail about her hobby of knitting, but Cyborg interrupted him.

"Stop it, man. You're making my eyes glaze over. How do you know all this stuff, anyway? All I ever found out was that she liked my present last time around and she secretly likes the color pink."

"She never told me, but like I said, it's as though I've known her all along."

Cyborg make a 'tch' sound. "I hate you, Robin."

"Why?"

"You found a way to beat that stupid feminine mystique system that we always lose at, and you pulled it off on their queen, too." Cyborg pointed towards a used bookstore, armed with new knowledge. "In here. I am going to say this. I still don't approve of you just leaving Starfire in the cold... but I am going to say that I honestly think that if you had to then you couldn't have found a better person."

OOO

Raven could understand why Starfire had been giving her the cold shoulder all day. Though Robin said that he would explain things, she had the feeling that he bumbled it even worse. Not that she had much experience with this, but almost any outcome would be better than Starfire being angry at herself, Robin, and most of all her friend. She had her hood pulled up over her head, which she found uncomfortable with long hair. But if that's the way he preferred it...

After passing by several stores that Starfire would normally be fascinated about but weren't, Raven knew that she had to start. "...Star?"

"Yes, friend Raven?" she asked, her voice suddenly becoming cheerful. Though it was obviously forced.

"About last night. Robin didn't mean to just bail out. He was just worried for me."

"It is no bother. It is good to look out for friends." Starfire said, almost dismissive. There was a pregnant pause. "Though I cannot help but wonder why my Robin chose to not only go back to a party but also suddenly go on a date with a girl after he confirmed the safety of yourself."

Raven didn't bother holding back a sigh. This was going to be difficult. She said, plainly as possible, "It takes a while to drive to Steel City. He didn't want to make the commute back to a party that would be over, so he decided to have fun at home."

"But to dress up in non-Robin clothes and go out with you, in non-Raven clothes? It would seem very curious."

"Star, nothing happened." She reflexively lied. Then she immediately felt guilty for doing so; Starfire was being emotional, but she had every right to be. "... I'm sorry. We did go on what could be called a date. I guess. We went to a jazz place then toured a cemetery."

"Oh." the Tameranian said, walking along with the other girl. While Starfire preferred to fly at any place possible, she wouldn't do it outside of work if Beast Boy and Raven were on the ground. Raven wondered what Star would think about this. She seemed to accept the explanation, finding the locations suitably non-romantic, as if Robin had took her to the dentist and then the grocery store. "But why were you found unconscious outside with Robin and then later this morning..."

"That was my fault." Raven admitted. "When I fall asleep, Robin does, too. I'm not sure why." It was a slim chance, but she vainly hoped that Starfire would forget the other half of the question. No such luck.

"But then why were you embracing my Robin this morning in a non-platonic manner? It was not incidental; you sought him out and hugged him sometime during the night. That indicates something, though I am not sure what." Her voice was becoming higher pitched by the moment, on the verge of becoming hysterical.

"Star, please, calm down." This was really beginning to seem like a bad idea. Cyborg or even Beast Boy with her would make this go smoother.

"No!" Starfire floated off of the ground and flew in front of Raven, blocking her entrance into a store. As she had feared, Starfire was unaware that she was about to make a scene. "You are not being forthright with me and I am finding it unbearably insulting."

"Then ask me what you really want to ask. And... people are starting to stare." Raven gestured to a few mall walkers, who were indeed looking their way.

"Very well, I shall. Are you trying to steal Robin away from me?" Starfire asked, her voice strangely neutral.

The dark girl couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew Starfire was direct about her feelings, but not to this degree. "What?" She was stalling, but couldn't think of anything better to say.

"Are you trying to steal Robin away from me?" Starfire repeated, same tone of voice.

If she wanted to be be direct, then Raven could, too. Why not? She was tired of being the loser in romance. What did she have to lose? "Robin isn't some prize that you win and then own forever. He can change his mind."

"So the answer by what you mean is 'yes I am, Starfire'?" She had an edge to her voice that Raven had not heard before.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You can think that if you want."

"Please, try to image how am I feeling. I am in love with this boy and he loves me back. We become very close over the next few months and admit our feelings for each other. Then for a reason I could not comprehend at the time this boy suddenly becomes very distant." Starfire's angry voice became tinged with sadness. "We are aware of it, but we cannot discover a reason. At the same time... another friend whom he had never looked at before... oh!"

Raven's sarcastic demeanor faded away. She began to feel guilty instead, an emotion she wasn't used to. "No, please continue."

"Raven, I shall be honest. I truly hate your bond. It made me quite upset when you did it, but I allowed it because it was to save the life of Robin." Starfire went back to the ground to walk with Raven again, her tiny red eyebrows scrunched together. "I love him but he seems so miserable at times. I wanted to help him with all of my heart. During all of this time, I thought that we were going somewhere... but he still hides things from me. He has not lied, but he has not truly told me anything. But I do not say anything, because I feel that we are making progress nonetheless." Her eyes flared brightly again for a few seconds. "Then he tells me about your bond and your dreams and how much is being shared."

Both girls slowed to almost a crawl as they went through the mall, the patrons ignoring them again as they. "On Tameran, we believe that to truly be with a person you must have their body, heart, and soul, or they are not truly your loved ones. It becomes quite apparent to me that you have something of him I do not. This is astonishingly unfair."

Raven reflected on what her friend said. She had not thought of it that way before. "Unfair? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I cannot give a better reason than the fact that I was trying first and for so long, but it is a important reason to me." Starfire admitted.

Raven looked at Starfire very seriously. The last thing she ever expected to do was give this girl, of all people, a lecture on love. To be sure, she just thought of what Robin would say and went with it. "I understand the trying part... but what does being first have to do with anything? Glgrdsklechhh was 'first' and he didn't marry you."

"But that was because it was an arranged marriage but most importantly I did not feel the emotion of love for him. It was the right thing to do."

"So why is it different now?"

The Tameranian looked somewhat offended. "Are you implying that Robin does not feel the same way towards me the way I do him?"

"You don't sound very sure yourself."

"Hmmmph." Raven had thought that she gave her some food for thought. In a way she did, but she didn't know what to think of that resentful look on Starfire's face. "Perhaps I should be asking you how you feel." Starfire suddenly said, changing the subject. "How do you feel towards Robin?"

Raven couldn't help but be startled. "Me? I thought he was an obsessive, uptight jerk at first... but I'm becoming very fond of him."

"Would you find him attractive? Physically? Did you have a, what is it, a smash on him?"

The dark girl couldn't help but blush very lightly. "Yes... and you mean a crush? I, Starfire, this is becoming very personal."

"I thought that was the point of this conversation, though?" Starfire said, her voice sweet. She halted suddenly as they passed by a stray pretzel cart, hungrily eyeing the one covered with mustard and salt. "Excuse me for a second. Mr. Vendor? I would like that one, please."

Raven waited until Starfire bought what she wanted and was out of earshot of the vendor. "I... I guess I do." She reached underneath her hood and adjusted her hair in the back, as it was becoming bunched up. "Those dreams made me realize I did for a long time. I don't know why I was denying myself."

Starfire was chewing thoughtfully on her pretzel as she listened. "I see. So why all this now?" she asked between bites. For some reason Raven found her behavior odd, but couldn't put a finger on it.

"I just couldn't take it any more. When I realized that he could see what I was dreaming and how he saved me in one, I couldn't hold back my feelings any longer." Her voice was becoming shy. She almost preferred to hear Starfire complain about it.

"Oh. Ah, about when did the dreams start becoming intense, would you say?"

"About... about a week or so ago. Why?"

Starfire's expression suddenly darkened. "Raven, do you remember when our bodies were swapped? With the Puppet King. And we were sharing our histories? I distinctly mention you saying that you had powers of empathy."

Raven began to feel rather uneasy. "What about it?"

"Well, about your bond... what if you had been unconsciously projecting your feelings onto Robin through the dreams, and he returned those feelings?"

Raven's eyes widened in horror. She wanted to make her voice sound indignant, but it was wavering. She hadn't even considered that. "Starfire, tell me you didn't just say that."

"Why not? Does that sound improbable to you?" Starfire pointedly asked. One couldn't tell whether this was a sudden revelation, or if she had hid her feelings long enough for Raven to drop her guard. She wasn't sure which was worse.

Raven's voice became very grave. "Starfire, let me tell you right now that I would never, ever do that to Robin. Get that thought out of your head."

"I believe you. But what about when you are asleep? Do you think that your power would be fully under control, especially if there was a bond? Especially if you had feelings for the person you were dreaming about?" Starfire had a very controlled anger right now and her tone was curiously reflective.

Raven wanted to say something very nasty in response to that, but couldn't. Starfire's theory had caught ahold of her imagination and she couldn't shake it away. She wanted to at least form some sort of coherent reply while she muddled through it. Yet it wasn't necessary. As if reading her every worry and sorting and refining it, Starfire stood right in front of her and pointed. Very slowly, she said, "I know this is hard, but try to see how it looks from the perspective of someone who is not you. Every person thinks that a boy is deeply attached to a girl. Then he completely changes his mind and goes with a girl he had not even given a second thought about. The other girl never voiced any attraction but felt it. She could see and read his thoughts and share her emotions. Would that not seem suspicious?"

Raven narrowed her eyes. She was outraged that Starfire would say that yet couldn't get rid of this low dread. "That is the worst thing anyone has ever said to me."

"But as horrible as you telling me that your feelings mean more than mine? It is not even close. I shall be seeing you." Starfire turned in the opposite direction from Raven and stormed off, leaving her former friend behind.

OOO

Stuffy's was a popular theme diner in the Jump City mall which had a reputation for being crowded on even the slowest of days. Fortunately Robin, with typical Robin insight had scheduled a table far in advance and avoided the long line outside. They were led to a booth by a blonde teenager who looked uncannily like the one who served him and Raven last night. All of them had bought presents for the others they hadn't already, even Beast Boy, who still managed to get something despite spending most of his time at the arcade. Unfortunately, it left underneath the already small booth crowded.

Robin sat in the corner next to Cyborg on one side, with Starfire facing opposite of him. Beast Boy was sitting between her and Raven.

"Wow. Er, this is a little cozy." Robin commented, picking up the menu.

"I like cozy. It makes me feel closer to my friends." Starfire said, smiling coyly. Cyborg glanced sideways at Robin and Beast Boy had a nervous look on his face. Raven didn't do anything.

"I'm sorry about that." The waitress gushed. "Can I get you anything to start out with?"

All ordered drinks and a small appetizer, though Starfire changed hers to match Robin's. The waitress went off with their orders, leaving them by themselves. It was obvious that there was some tension between Raven and Starfire. All of the boys wondered what they said to each other, but Robin had a good guess.

"So, who's ready to do some extreme ice skating after this?" Beast Boy polled, trying to give the impression of being totally relaxed. He was getting nervous sitting between the two girls.

"I added some attachments to my rocket boots last night." Cyborg said, desperate to cling to any thread of conversation. "They're like hover boots. Effortless gliding. And with the combined scraper/reconditioner attachment they even resurface the ice once I've skated past it. So the more I skate, the smoother the ice gets."

"So you've turned yourself into a zamboni." Raven commented. "That's... great."

"Can we call you Woodstock?" Beast Boy added, snickering.

"Hey, shut up, at least I know how to skate." Cyborg muttered. Starfire tilted her head to the side; this conversation seemed over her head for her.

Beast Boy grinned. "What's the point? Girls go ga-ga when they see a baby polar bear slide across the ice, huge Bambi eyes..."

"You. Are. Green. Wait, did you overhear us talking about your animal forms at the party last night? We were just kidding."

"Hey, I just need to find a green animal that girls like. Like... um... frogs. Or snakes. Or..."

Robin smiled. Things seemed to be returning to normal. "Ice skating is pretty complicated. You have to control friction while leaning your body radially, not to mention the whole controlling your center of balance."

All of his friends looked at him as one. Starfire asked, gently, "Robin, did you... do research on ice skating last night?'

"Well, the thing is... I don't really know how to do it. I want to know how to."

Starfire clasped her hands together. "It is fine. I do not know how it is done, either, but possessing the power of flight must make it easier."

Almost as an afterthought, Raven said, "I know how to ice skate. Without flying."

"You know how to ice skate?" Cyborg asked, disbelieving that Raven participated in any outdoors activity.

"Yes. We used to have a lake near the boarding school I was at. I could... teach you, Robin." she offered.

Robin was taken surprise by Raven's offer, but couldn't help himself from nodding 'yes'. He wanted to ask her more about it, but saw Starfire, who was trying to play with his feet, start to become moody. He decided to change the subject. Slipping into leader mode, he said, "Well, things have been pretty quiet, team, but don't get too comfortable. It's very likely that there will be some major attack around Christmas. I want you to be on your toes and ready to go on a moment's notice."

"Man, I don't want a pep talk on my time off. Can't you relax for just a few days?" Cyborg said.

"I'm just saying. It hasn't happened any time since we formed the team

"I wouldn't bet on it. I bet even Slade tries to turn a new leaf at the last minute to impress Santa. Oh, sweet, my spinach dip." Beast Boy commented as the waitress brought out their appetizers.

OOO

Robin was at the bench near the skating rink, lacing up his rental ice skates. Despite the city's incredible capacity for completely ignoring the Titans in any non-vigilante context, the antics of Beast Boy were hard to ignore; after the octopus gag didn't go over too well, he was belly sliding and prat falling as a penguin and making the kids giggle. Starfire, instead of skating, was sliding on her feet, using her flight power to keep her upright. Despite the other boys looking at the skimpily-dressed alien, she ignored them, instead smiling at Robin with each pass. Raven and Cyborg were still in line for skates, the latter still cross the zamboni comment.

Robin sighed lightly. Even though he was a master of martial arts and acrobatics, he was still sort of a klutz at activities like this. He'd normally just be content to warm the benches, but she had offered to teach him.

He heard her typically melancholy voice address him from behind. "Robin." Raven already had her ice skates on and was walking effortlessly on the carpet towards him. "Ready?"

He nodded and stood up, having to balance himself on the wall to keep his balance. Before he made a step on the ice, she stopped him by placing her hand on his shoulder. "Wait a second." Her fingers went to the clasp on her cloak and undid it, pulling the entire garment off and placing it where Robin was sitting. "I do not want to trip on this."

Though he had seen her without a cloak and with long hair last night, something felt different about Raven this time. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he liked it. Pale skin, dark blue leotard, long purple hair clashing against the ice... it struck him just how beautiful she really was. He had always known it, but it never really occurred to him so obviously. She looked like an angel. The phrase was on the tongue and he wanted to say this thought, but he couldn't. Instead, he just found himself openly staring at her, unable to look away.

She pretended not to notice or care, but the redness came back to her cheeks showed that he was making her self-conscious. With a small embarrassed smile, she murmured, "... what?"

"Nothing. Sorry." Robin, feeling like a jerk, decided to concentrate on this sport... and immediately found himself slipping when both feet were in the rink. Raven immediately caught him by the shoulders and help him stand upright. "Robin, push the edges of the blade to one side slightly. Like that." She was pushing both of them softly, guiding them away from the other skaters. This felt somewhat thrilling, being gracefully led by Raven and being able to relax, he thought. Starfire looked towards both of them and started staring wordlessly, which caused Raven's grip to tighten. "Now push. Exactly in the same direction you're cutting."

After a few minutes, he already felt comfortable enough to propel himself, though Raven's hands still rested on his shoulder. He noticed that she was gradually doing less of the work until they did an equal amount... goodness, they looked like a couple. They were starting to get looks from strangers, but Raven didn't seem to mind, so Robin decided not to either. They skated in complete silence after she gave him a few pointers, one enjoying the other's company. As Starfire started paying them less attention, Robin felt Raven moving closer to him, having previously held him at half an arm's length.

"Robin, it's occurred to me that..." The dark girl suddenly murmured in the direction of his ear. "I really haven't been appreciating you as much as I should." He could feel her warm breath, something that Stephanie did all the time to tease him; he wondered whether she knew that.

Robin tried to hold back a shiver, regardless. "Don't worry about it. It's fine." he said, modestly.

Raven held him closer, so much that he could feel the warmth from her body on his back. "It's not fine. Ever since we met, you've gone out of your way to be kind and... you've never been thanked." Though he was learning a lot more about Raven's different sides, being quietly seduced by her was something he would have never expected before this holiday. Still, he was finding that he liked this side to her. "Robin... I really, really want to talk to you later tonight... about things."

He smiled out of the corner of his mouth. He never would've expected her to open up so soon, but that was the goal, wasn't it? "Definitely. What made you change your mind?"

He felt her hands slip from his shoulders up and down his arms. "Because I've found someone to love."

There was no explanation for it, but he suddenly felt something was wrong. He wasn't sure whether it was her touch or her words, but this did not quite seem like Raven. Why would she move forward so fast? He toyed with the possibility that it was another dream, but this went on far too long and was too organized to be a dream. But that was the problem, wasn't it? If last night's dream of them making out proved anything, it was that both of them were starting to have difficulty recognizing the barrier between what was real and what was imagined. In that case, maybe Raven was acting in the real world how she wanted to act, but only could in dreams. He knew about her loneliness and longing and the heart-wrenching desire to love and be loved. When viewed in that light, maybe this didn't feel so strange after all.

He noticed that Raven backed away from her advancing touches, once again caused by him indulging in thought. He knew that he tensed up, as he often did when entertaining thoughts. He felt a shyness come from her and she broke physical contact. "I, I didn't mean to intimidate you, Robin."

"It wasn't that, I was just-"

Not paying attention where he was going and not being guided by Raven, he collided against a much larger, bulkier man and went tumbling to the ground. After sliding for a few feet, as if that wasn't bad enough, a preppy teenager was speed skating right by. Normally he would've just barely missed both, but Robin was suddenly in the way; even though he tried to stop himself, the blade of his skates sliced open half the length of Robin's exposed arm, causing him to grit his teeth in pain.

"Robin!" Raven cried, braking and kneeling down to Robin's side. Without thought, she tenderly held up his arm, pressing the wound shut to stop the liberal flow of blood.

Both the large man and the teenager stopped, going to see if he was all right. The large man winced with sympathy at Robin and the teenager asked, "Are you okay? I didn't mean to hit you."

Robin stood up with the support of the wall, using his non-injured arm. "It's my fault for not paying attention." The injury didn't hurt anywhere near as much as he thought it would nor was it bleeding as much; Raven was channeling her power to keep it from getting worse. Still, the amount of blood that was spilt was getting looks from the other people in the ice rink. The other Titans came over towards their friend, quite concerned.

"Man, Rob, that looks awful. Let's get you to that first aid station." Beast Boy suggested, pointing in the direction of the locker room.

Raven had a nasty scowl on her face at the suggestion. She was leading him to the carpet. "Robin is not going in that filthy locker room to be 'treated' by some slacker paid minimum wage."

Beast Boy looked hurt at the comment. "That used to be one of my jobs when I was trying to buy that moped, you know."

Starfire looked as though she wanted to get closer, but realized that she would just be in the way. "But the building where they heal wounds is too far away."

"Raven is taking care of it." Robin said, firmly. Personally, he'd rather just be shuffled off to the side without a word, but he didn't want to risk Starfire or Beast Boy getting in the way by giving a contrary suggestion.

"Oh." Starfire murmured. Though she was glad that Robin was fine, a part of her still wanted her to be the one to comfort him, especially with what happened today and yesterday.

Raven eventually was able to sit Robin back down on a bench and focus on healing the wound more. The others were still gathered around them, watching Raven work. Her speed was amazing; the bleeding was just an ooze now and the pain went away. The edges of the laceration were sealing together without scars.

Robin wasn't the only one who noticed that. Cyborg whistled, genuinely impressed. "Wow. That's really fast, Raven. How do you do it?"

Raven tilted her head downwards. Very softly, she murmured, mostly to Robin, "It... works better when I feel very strongly about the person."

OOO

They didn't spend much longer at the ice rink. Raven and Robin sat at the bench in silence, she holding his arm and hand even after all that remained was a light discoloration. The others skated for almost half an hour more before they all came back. Beast Boy, Cyborg, and especially Starfire looked as though they wanted to say something but refrained from commenting. As Robin had predicted, the car ride home was very awkward. Star had succeeding in getting a seat next to Robin but didn't have the heart to really take advantage of it. He felt really bad for putting Star through this... and it was in her best interest to break things off right away.

Back home, Cyborg and Beast Boy were already making preparations for movie night. They ordered a pizza and didn't argue about it, sensing the tense mood in the Tower. Raven excused herself from movie night to go meditate, which improved Starfire's mood. It improved even more when Robin suggested that they let Starfire pick the movie, which the two had been trying to avoid since she picked the documentary on the production of hot dogs.

Robin didn't know it at the time, but he would regret the decision later. Starfire sped to her room and rifled through her possessions, leaving the boys in suspense. She was floating, instead of walking, holding up the VHS cassette still wrapped in cellophane.

"'All For True Love'?" Before he became a full-time Teen Titan, Robin used to have an encyclopedic knowledge of movies, but he had never heard of this one.

"Indeed. Bumblebee recommended it to me a month back and I merely waiting for an appropriate viewing occasion." Starfire chirped, taking out the movie. Cyborg and Beast Boy had a look of resigned dread on their faces but refrained from commenting.

All gathered in the living room to watch. Robin sat on a wide couch, letting Beast Boy sit to his left and Starfire to his right while Cyborg popped in the tape. With previous movies, while Starfire was not shy in cuddling him, usually took it a lot slower; but by 10 minutes in was already wrapped around him. Waiting until later that night to tell her how she felt as opposed to when the movie began seemed like a bad idea.

As for the movie, Robin found himself liking it despite himself. The other two boys, keeping on par with their Mystery Science Theater 3000 tradition when they picked the movies, started making jokes about the dialogue and script. They finally listened to repeated pleas from Starfire to keep quiet. As for the movie itself, it was a low-budget but expertly made fantasy/romance movie. It involved the tale of a poor, brooding but honorable prince who was engaged to a beautiful princess. She was in love with him, but for superficial reasons, and a conversation with his best friends made him realize that; he instead developed an attraction for the court's witch, working for the princess and one of his friends. While not as conventionally attractive as the princess, the two developed a bond of understanding and eventually love, although he eventually discovered that it was for naught... the witch was compelled to commit suicide by the king when he discovered the truth, not wanting to botch his perfect engagement. Grief-stricken, the prince leaves back for his home country, abandoning the princess.

Although Beast Boy tried to feign boredom, he was slowly becoming more interested into the movie. Starfire reacted in the opposite way, although she seemed to become more anxious as the movie went on. After the end of the movie, Cyborg stood up, picking up the pizza boxes. Beast Boy looked at his friend curiously. "Cy... what's wrong? Are you crying?"

Cyborg made a strange guttural noise and looked away. "No, I just, got something in my eye and..."

"Wow. Cyborg's crying at a chick flick!" Beast Boy laughed.

"Shut up, man. That was a depressing, sad movie. I wonder if they got anymore like it."

Robin indicated that he wanted to sit up, causing Starfire to inch away from him. Starfire shook her head. "I did not care for it too much. They portrayed the princess as shallow and the prince as wishing for showers ('wishy washy', Cyborg corrected in vain). And the witch..."

The boys looked between each other. They hadn't made the connection while watching it, but the allegory was all too obvious now. To Robin's horror, Beast Boy pointed out, "Hey, you know, that's sort of like the relationship Robin kind of has with..." Beast Boy stopped himself after he realized what he just did.

Cyborg smacked his head and Robin ground his teeth together. Though Starfire didn't seem particularly offended at the comment. "It does, does it not?" she murmurs, looking back at Robin. She had no dread or anxiety on her face, but she did look eager for an answer. "Robin, what would you say our relationship is like?"

Robin curiously didn't feel angry at Beast Boy. Actually, this felt better than having to beat around the bush and think of something sweet to say. "Our relationship isn't anything like that of the princess, Starfire. I really like you. But not romantically. I thought I did, when we were on that planet, but I realize that I don't."

She closed her eyes tightly, feeling hurt and humiliated. "And what of you and Raven?"

"To be honest, I'm not sure yet. But it is definitely feeling that way." he stated. "I'm sorry, Starfire, I didn't mean to string you along this far. I was just scared of facing my feelings and..."

Starfire turned away from everyone. "Robin, I... you should always be faithful to yourself. But that will not change the way I feel about you." She jogged, not flew, off into the bedroom hallway, leaving them all alone.

Cyborg stuffed the pizza boxes into the trash can, glaring at youngest Titan. "You know, I just can't believe you some times. Do you ever think before you open your mouth?"

"No. Well, I mean..." Beast Boy scratched his head. "This is good, because this way Starfire is mad at me instead of Robin and Raven because she thinks that I'm responsible for setting this all up. And I kind of am."

Cyborg was about to finish cleaning up the rest of the room, but Robin waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry. I'll clean up. Beast Boy, why bother with all that?"

"I've been thinking... it's obvious that Starfire has a big thing for you, right? First girlfriend stuff. The thing is, well, if you like the first person you're with but you really like the second person more, then what do you do? Do you just, like, stay with the person you're with? Why? I just wanted to help you out."

"There... really isn't an easy answer to that." Cyborg admitted, hitting the rewind button on Starfire's tape. He was setting up for a game while staying out of Robin's way.

Robin shook his head. He couldn't be too mad at Beast Boy; in his mind, he was doing the right thing. And he did help out in the end. This morning showed that it was hard to get closure and be direct with Starfire on their relationship. "Well, thanks for trying."

"Hey, don't mention it." Beast Boy pointed both thumbs at himself, grinning cheesily. "You are talking to Doctor Smooth Love, after all."

OOO

Raven came into the living room much later that night. For a reason unknown to her, she wanted to meet him later in the night, around 1 or so. But she was too anxious to wait that long, so came by around eleven. Not that it mattered... Beast Boy and Cyborg had elected not to go on one of their all-night marathons in the living room. Even though everyone but him was sound asleep, she found herself sneaking into the living room, holding the a box underneath her robe.

And there he was, sitting in front of the television on the floor. Robin was watching a histrionic Cajun chef prepare a gumbo with the volume kept low. She walked around the couch behind him, sitting down next to him. "Robin." She greeted.

"Evening, Raven. I didn't think you'd show up this late."

"I don't want the others barging in while we talked. I haven't had a mature conversation in awhile." Raven pulled out the box, a silver-foil wrapped chocolate box and opened the lid. "Um, here. I thought we could enjoy this."

Sweet tooth again. He picked a piece at random and ate it. She knew that he didn't care too much for candy, but she could tell that he liked it. "I keep some, hidden. The others can't tell the difference between gourmet chocolate and a fistful of melted M&Ms... I... thought you would enjoy it." she explained.

"You have really good taste." He said, looking her into her eyes. After seeing those sky blue eyes of his, looking through his mask was underwhelming. She would fix that.

She took the remote from his side and turned the TV off, making the room go dark except for the lights of the cityscape. The Christmas tree's lights, left off all day, came on as one as she plugged it in and placed the box of chocolates on the floor. Though the tree looked strange and irreverent in the daytime, at night it looked magical. Starfire's ornaments created starbursts of lights against the strands and even made Beast Boy's strange decorations unnoticable. She sat on her knees and beckoned him with her most inviting smile. "Over here."

He sat right in front of her, in the same position she was. Gingerly, her hands went up to take off his mask. Raven knew that she should have waited until later before requesting such intimacy from him, but she was being very indulgent lately, like she was with Malchior. And same as back then, she couldn't help herself. But at she could trust the boy in front of her.

Robin let her take off his mask. Once again he looked much different behind it. Forgetting that she wanted to talk to him, she was drawn to his eyes, merely content to gaze into them for some time. This was so cliched, but quite romantic... she never thought of herself or Robin as much for this. Maybe their idea of it was different than from what everyone else said.

"Raven...? You look like you wanted to say something."

"Lots, Robin. I'm still thinking of how to say it." she whispered, looking down and to the side. "I... just hate the small talk you have to go through first."

"I hate it, too. Just say what's on your mind."

She sighed. "Fine. Robin, about the whole idea of us being together... I saw how much it upset Starfire. She's my friend and I didn't want to do that, but I just couldn't hold back how I felt."

Robin placed a hand over hers, where it rested on her thigh. "It was my decision. What made you want to say that?"

The idea had been bothering her ever since Starfire brought it up. The mere thought of winning Robin like that was revolting, but... she shook her head. She didn't want to think about it. "We had a fight while we were Christmas shopping. She said that I was trying to get to you through the bond."

His answer surprised her. "Haven't you? If we didn't have it, I don't think I would've given you a second thought, to be honest. What's wrong with that?"

"I mean... not just with having a link, but she thinks that I'm influencing your thoughts through it." Raven clarified.

Robin briefly looked shaken by the idea. She suddenly had a bad feeling the way this conversation was going. "... are you?" he asked, very quietly. He wasn't accusing in his tone, but he made it clear he didn't like the idea.

"No. I promise, I swear that I'm not." she half-lied. She wasn't consciously doing it, oh no. She'd die before doing that to him consciously. But she couldn't prove that that wasn't actually happening... through her dreams, maybe? "With... how powerful I'm feeling for you lately, it would be really obvious."

He laughed softly, putting her fears to rest. "I believe you. You've been more trustworthy than I have, anyway, what with Red X and all..." He then looked concerned. "But Raven, back to your earlier comment... are you sure that this is safe for you?"

"You're being so vague that I don't do what you're talking about."

He placed his other hand on her other, both of his fingers lacing between hers. "Just feeling this deeply. Your powers are linked by emotions, right? What about the side effects?"

She had noticed that, too, but ignored it at first. Her positive emotions had a much larger leeway than ones like fear and anger, but they were still there. What was the upper limit on love? Was there one? Would the effects even be bad? She bowed her head down, unable to think of anything to say that wouldn't raise more questions. She had her own theories, too, but given how obsessive Robin could be at times she didn't want to distract him from this moment.

But he continued. "But between that last dream of yours last night and all this... if nothing happened, I think it's pretty safe for us to be boyfriend and girlfriend."

She felt her heart jump at the those words. Raven had that fluttery feeling in her stomach that she got when she experienced an emotion that caused her to lose control. But again, nothing happened. She knew that she had a startled look on her face when she said that, and from the look on Robin's face it was as if he expected something to be destroyed. She smiled slyly.

"Maybe this is a good thing after all. This love..." she said.

Robin looked unamused. "It's... it's too soon to call it that, Raven. It's only been a couple of days."

"What would you call it, then?" She couldn't believe that she was the one advocating passion while Robin was the rational one. "We have shared thoughts, dreams, we're comfortable with each other, I... Robin, you have to admit that we're very intimate, even if we haven't noticed before. More than many married people."

"I'm not sure. There's more to love than attraction and intimacy." Was he referring to Stephanie? Even she knew that they had something that she didn't, but she didn't know what it was. Yet.

"If you say so." Raven sighed. She squeezed his hands, causing him to smile again. "Thanks for being so patient with all this. You're right, I am letting myself go. It's just... I've been repressing for so long and to finally have an outlet for emotion... it's killing me, Robin, but I love it."

"I know. It makes me happy that you feel this way. I, I hate seeing you sad."

She moved closer to him. "Oh, Robin." she gushed. She let go of his hands and then suddenly embraced him, like she wanted to from the beginning. He caught her and returned her hug before both parted... but Raven put her arms back around his waist. Robin couldn't help but notice how different being squeezed by her was than anyone else. Starfire and even Stephanie had a sort of hard possessiveness to theirs, which while he liked, just couldn't compare. Even though she initiated, hers also had an element of invitation. As if she was asking, even telling you to indulge in her body. Despite her standoffish appearance, she felt much softer.

The tower was so quiet, they could hear the other breathe, the faint chime of ornaments on the tree. This would be bliss for any girl, but it was heaven for poor Raven. Just with that small gesture she felt closer to him and she knew he felt closer to her. "Robin, about that dream I had last night." she said, referring to their carnal encounter from last night. "I... I think I'm going to have another one like that. Worse, maybe."

"That's fine. But you sound so apologetic." He slipped his arms between hers and placed them on her shoulder. "We're teenagers. That happens. You saw me and my old girlfriend, right?"

"I just feel so dirty and disgusting. Especially... especially after the dreams with Slade and what he does to me. It... it doesn't make me disgusted or make me fear sex. As you can tell, it just made me desire more. I hate it."

Getting no response from him, she looked him in the eyes and went on. Talking was easier than enduring the awkward silence. "I don't want you to think less of me for it, like I'm some sort of horny hypocrite. It's more complicated than that."

Robin was quiet for a long time. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was judging her and then trying to think of some perfect solution. But he didn't. She should have expected more from him to start with, since he didn't react with his usual rage and broodiness when he found out she was haunted by him. It wasn't Slade, she was sure of, but it felt like him so.

"I know how rough it's been for you... but Raven, your feelings belong to you alone. I won't think less of you for them. Don't hide from yourself because you're afraid of my reaction."

"Mmm." She would still feel embarrassed, but not nearly so. She rested her cheek on his shoulder, closing her eyes.

That was the end of their conversation. The other occasionally cooed out the others' name and both helped themselves to the chocolate, but they moved little for the longest time. eventually, Raven felt herself become progressively more sleepy, and she was looking rather forward to even more pleasure. She was really looking forward to dreaming with this boy again. Her little Robin. How did she become so fortunate? Last week, she felt so lonely yet tormented by her dreams and feelings that she felt like crying. She let out a short, joyful laugh. Robin said that what she was feeling wasn't love. But after they let go of each other and went to their rooms for the night and after she took a most indulging shower and crawled into bed... she knew otherwise.

Oh, well, she thought as she cuddled lengthwise against a fluffy pillow, pretending it was Robin. Even the Boy Wonder doesn't know everything.

OOO

There was the period of the usual voidness of thought and the disjointed dreams that accompanied them, though after having been in Raven's mind he found them droll, almost boring. He felt a sudden surge of feeling and consciousness like he did in the past but was still formless. He looked at his surroundings.

The shells and limbs of destroyed robots littering the rooms identified this day very clearly. This was the morning after Terra's betrayal. Robin was still unsure what to do at the time, so just started cleaning up. His friends soon took the cue and helped him. No one said anything at all while they worked. Beast Boy still hadn't leave his room yet.

Starfire was lifting debris out of Terra's old room when she made an 'oh' sound. "Friends, come and see. I have found her leg-topping."

"Her what?" Cyborg asked, hopping through the hole in the wall. He then scowled as he picked up her computer. Robin and Raven had come by as well. "Oh, that."

Robin nodded grimly said, "Cyborg, we're going to need your help going through and cracking the files. I bet it has everything Terra sent Slade."

"Right now? Look, I don't want anything to do with her right now." Cyborg muttered. Robin noticed the way he and Star emphasized the word 'her'.

"We don't have a choice." Robin was resolute. "We have no idea how much information Terra gave Slade and what we need to guard against."

"If you say so." Cyborg pulled a cord from his wrist and plugged it in. This turned on the laptop and started transferring data. Cyborg's eyes widened at something. "Oh man."

"Cyborg, what manner of information did you discover?" Starfire asked, looking at the screen.

Cyborg started hastily typing on the keyboard. "This is some bad stuff. I thought the security breaches were bad enough, but look at this..."

Raven had said almost nothing the entire time, except her condemnation of the former Titan. In a voice more accusing than before, "Robin, how could you let something like this happen?"

Robin was somewhat startled. "What?" Anyone else would've just treated it as a rhetorical question or apologized, but he still felt the need to explain himself. He was the only other person skeptical of Terra's arrival, but nowhere to the extend of Raven. Before she could answer, he added, "Well, we didn't catch this because we trusted Terra. We thought she was one of us."

"I didn't. I asked you repeatedly to help me keep a closer eye on the traitor and you ignored me. Why?"

Came a tired voice from behind them all, "He... he just told you, Raven." Beast Boy was there, looking miserable but trying to hide it. "Sorry I'm late to help. Rough night."

"I know he just told me. I'm sorry for not seeing everything with rose-tinted glasses, but I really want to know what you were thinking. Did it not occur to you at all that this is what just might happen if we start taking in strays."

Beast Boy had a look of defeat on his face for a few seconds, and then to even her surprise his face twisted into a deep scowl. In his nastiest tone of voice, he said, "You know what? Maybe this whole thing wouldn't have happened if you weren't so selfish."

Cyborg said, gently, "BB. Calm down, man." Starfire's bright green eyes were widening, anticipating and dreading the coming storm.

Raven cocked an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"

"Oh, come on! You never even tried to give her a chance. You were being mean to Terra ever since she came by and you had no reason to." Beast Boy crossed his arms around his chest. "Maybe if you didn't go out of your way to make her feel unwelcome she would've really been apart of the team and wouldn't have turned on us."

"She was with Slade since the beginning."

"It still wasn't too late!" He snarled. "Did we give up on you and treat you bad when you turned into that weird thing against Dr. Light?"

Raven was stunned and then her normally expressionless eyes became angry. With deadly warning to her voice, she said, "I told you before to never bring that up."

"Or what? You're going to call me stupid and act even meaner? Man, Raven, you can be one lousy friend at times." Beast Boy stormed off back down the hall, leaving the others behind.

Robin watched the changeling depart and followed him at a slow pace, then started jogging to catch up with him. "Beast Boy... Beast Boy!"

The other three Titans looked at Raven in awkward silence. Finally Raven pulled the cloak over her head and floated away from Terra's room. She softly muttered, "I'm going to clean over here." Starfire and Cyborg still said nothing.

Raven went by herself to the kitchen, as there were Slade bots even here. She used her powers to put the remains on a stack, but found it hard to concentrate after the first few. Why did she hate Terra so much, even before this? As Robin might have said, she was right for the wrong reasons. She...

She didn't want to think about him. This whole time, he was the only one who even vaguely paid any attention to her after their new teammate. Cyborg found Terra much more fun, as she didn't have to be cajoled and bribed into playing the latest video game with him or going out for a drive. Starfire, well, after they had swapped bodies and powers, Raven honestly thought that Starfire would become her best friend. Her first friend that was a girl. And until Terra came, that seemed inevitable. But over time, Starfire spent less and less time with Raven and more with the new person. Raven just ignored Starfire's gradual shift in attentions, as Robin also seemed to occupy a lot of her time too, just chalking it up to another of her tricks.

But as she thought about it, it increasingly looked like the reason why they grew apart was because of her. Why did she take her friends for granted so? Starfire did want to spend time with her, even after Terra came by, but she just had to make every little thing a struggle, which Raven usually won. No wonder why she just became tired of it after awhile. She thought that she would enjoy Beast Boy, who practically paid her no attention when Terra was around, leaving her alone, but she didn't. And it was selfish of her, since she treated him sort of badly, but she always rationalized it that if he didn't find it amusing, he wouldn't try to hang out with her so much. Was she really that bad of a person? It looked like she was.

Raven stopped moving the robots. She felt a lump in her throat and did everything in her power to force down the emotions.

OOO

Raven calmly watched Cyborg and Beast Boy try to make a batch of seasoned French fries in the deep fat fryer while reading her book at the able. After arguing for what seemed like forever on what to have for dinner, they both decided to just eat an entire pot full of fries with a bowl of ice cream for each. It was smelling pretty good at first, until the pot Beast Boy was supposed to watch was forgotten and the potatoes started to burn. Now Starfire was opening windows in an attempt to air out the living room, but the heavy rains limited how much she could open them.

Raven buried her nose deeper into the book she was reading. She couldn't wait for the weekend, when their leader came around. Those two stopped horse playing incessantly with their leader around and she could actually look forward to having a decent meal instead of fried junk food. Even though Cyborg was leader while Robin was gone, she dreaded the idea of anything actually happening on the weekday. Cyborg had a quick temper and no sense of subtlety, while Robin seemed to actually lead with his brain.

She didn't know what was with Robin, but he had improved. A lot. She thought the idea of someone without superpowers not only being on the team, but leading it was ridiculous, but lately he had been impressing her. He threw criminals that weighed four times what he did with ease and could punch hard enough to smash bedrock and actually got some useful gadgets in his belt. But he still seemed sort of out of face. Whatever, it didn't matter. He got her out of that stupid boarding school and surrounded her with people although very strange, were nice to her.

"It is as if the oceans became the sky." Starfire lamented, slumping against the counter top. A storm like this could be pretty depressing, but that was the way she liked it. The alien stuck her hand directly in the hot oil which contained Beast Boy's batch of fries and pulled out a burnt lump, munching on it. Her mood improved.

"It's the rainy season. It's going to be like this for a few days." Cyborg whewed as Starfire seemed to enjoy the ruined food; he hated treating her as a garbage disposal but he always found the things she liked fascinating. In a disgusting way.

She added, "I wish it was the fifth day so that Robin would arrive." Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged knowing glances. Starfire already appeared to have a crush on the guy.

"Don't worry, Star. He's the only one of us who has a life outside of the Titans; he's probably just doing his homework right now." Beast Boy said.

Over the intercom system, they head the doorbell to the ground floor. All of the Titans looked at each other. This was the first time it had ever been rung in the months since they came to the tower. Even disregarding the Tower's location on the island, they hadn't even received a phone call or anything other than an alert.

"Hey, guys?" Came a familiar voice. It seemed kind of choked. "It's me, Tim Dra-I mean Robin. Could you let me in?"

Wiping the oil off with a towel, Starfire cried, "Robin!". Though she was the first to leave the kitchen, the others came with her, even Raven.

They opened the front door for perhaps the first time, as the Titans preferred to fly in through the top or use the side entrance. It was Robin, but for the first time anyone had saw him he wasn't in costume. He didn't even have a mask. He had a duffle bag over his shoulder and he was soaked to the bone. The sweatshirt, the same one he was wearing on his future date with Raven, was sagging so much that it almost slipped off of his shoulders. His hair was falling all between his eyes and he was slightly hunched. He came into the lobby slowly, unmindful of the mess he was making. Starfire went to greet him, but stopped on seeing the miserable look on his face.

"Robin? Dude, nice to see you... what are you doing here on a weekday? School holiday? Or just couldn't wait to hang out with us?" Beast Boy asked, jokingly but tentatively.

"I don't have a home anymore." Robin said, softly. He looked up at the others, who were now looking at him with utmost sympathy.

Cyborg canted his head to the side, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "What do you mean?"

Robin hung his head. Sorrow made him completely candid. "The gang war in Gotham... it, Captain Boomerang killed my father and Black Mask killed someone very important to me. Then my mentor refused to adopt me. I was too old and too independent, he said... and my step mom is crazy. I don't have a home."

"So that's why you're all the way here? Don't you have school and friends back home?" Cyborg asked.

"I'm almost done with school. And I don't have any friends there anymore." Robin started to make his way up the steps. "I... I'm going to live here now."

"Truly?" Starfire asked. She was happy to see him move in permanently, but was still mindful of his sadness. "This must be very hard for you."

Robin didn't even turn around. "Yeah. I'm going to go change."

"Robin, we would love to have you here. Please, consider us your new family. Is that not correct, Cyborg?"

Cyborg smiled wanly. "You bet. We're here for you, man."

Raven quietly watched Robin ascend the stairs, leaving a trail of water everywhere. She had done little other than to look at him and she wasn't sure why. She wanted to do more than just stare. Someone like him warranted more than that. He had believed in her from the very beginning and chose her when no one else would. And she did nothing to comfort him or even show that she was there. She silently watched Robin go up the steps...

Raven, the actual person and not the memory, suddenly felt rebellious. She remembered how the rest of this memory went. Robin holed himself up in his room for the rest of the day and then pretended like nothing had happened, even though there was still pain in his eyes; they wouldn't see him outside of his costume for a long time. And she still did nothing. Well, just the thought of it, even though it had passed, made her want to do something different.

Raven took a step forward, as if unsure whether she had control of the person in this dream-memory or not, then flew directly upwards to Robin. He stopped right in front of her, puzzled. This wasn't how the memory went. She looked soulfully into his eyes, and his posture changed from merely stopping to freezing. Then she did what no one in the dream was expecting her to do: to hug him. She hugged him as tight as she could, soaking her own uniform, but she didn't care. He was tense at Raven's inexplicable action, but the touch made him relax as he realized that her gesture was sincere. She cradled his head onto her shoulder.

"Robin, I don't think you believe us. You might not realize it now, but you will always have a home here." She said, running fingers through his wet hair. Raven thought that he could see a blush forming on the side of his cheeks.

"Thanks, Raven... that means a lot to me." he murmured. "It really does and I..."

"Shh. Don't say anything." Raven planted a kiss on his forehead and smiled comfortingly at him.

OOO

Robin, or really Timothy, was standing outside the door to Rachel's house, dressed in a pair of khaki slacks and a black angora sweater with the sleeves rolled up. He wasn't wearing contacts but instead a pair of glasses, as he thought that it would make him look smarter and harmless. Azarath was a very strange city; it was built futuristically but everything was run with magic. There was hardly anyone out in the streets but it was filled with animal and plant life. Especially white doves...

He knocked on the side of the doorframe, as there was not a door, just a curtain. He intentionally mussed his hair a little bit, still worried about how he was looking. Tim had two girlfriends before, but he had never really had dinner. Yes, he ate at Ariana's place with her folks but because of his social status it felt strangely businesslike. And there was no way he was going to eat dinner with Stephanie's criminal father.

"Coming," came Rachel's voice. She was dressed in a plain white blouse and a simple grey skirt, something that she would've worn at her old boarding school. She smiled on seeing her boyfriend, though it became wry as she saw the glasses. "Yes, there's no way she'll notice that."

Tim adjusted his glasses. "I couldn't help it. I've never met an adult as the real me, but I sort of forgot what the real me was like. I was thinking sort of a nerd."

Rachel snatched them off of his face and shook her head. "You are so hopeless. Come in, dinner is almost ready."

"Can't wait." He walked inside of her house, immediately looking around. For someone as important to Azarath as Rachel and her mother were, they lived quite a Spartan lifestyle. Their home was smaller than Stephanie's and it was much more sparsely decorated. The den and what he thought was the kitchen was only one room and he only saw rooms leading to a bathroom and a bedroom. The dining table was a raised stone platform on the floor surrounded by pillows. Rachel invited him to sit down on the floor, which he did, and then she sad down next to him. Her mother had their back turned to both of them and was still putting food on plates.

"Thanks for coming by, Timothy. We don't get a lot of visitors." Arella said. Robin was immediately struck with how different this woman seemed from the Arella in the previous dream. Aside from her hair being purple and she being taller, she carried herself so much differently. She was in white robes rather than dumpy earth clothes, her voice was more dignified, and she carried herself in a regal manner. She sat down at the table with the plates. This woman was clearly proud of her daughter.

"Don't mention it. I was looking forward to coming by." He fibbed. Actually, he wasn't at first, but now that he was in the room he didn't know what he was so nervous about. Arella was completely without pretense and he felt at ease in the earthy surroundings. He picked up a fork and picked up something that seemed like a casserole, with no meat in it. He wasn't sure whether Azarathians preferred vegetarian meals or it was just too expensive. Tim ate, the food tasting like a gourmet dish he ate at fancy restaurants with his family.

"Rachel says that you have been going out with her for several months." Arella said, pleased at Tim's appetite.

"We have. I really like your daughter." Even he realized how silly he sounded, but he figured that as long as he was sincere about what he said wouldn't matter.

"That's fine. I'm glad she found someone... she talks about you all the time."

"Mother." Rachel groaned, staring at her dish.

Ignoring her daughter's growing embarrassment, she continued, "She tells me a lot about your life with the Titans, but little about your life as Tim. I have to say that I am a bit curious about you, since you knew her before you really became your identity."

Oh, great. The food was too good and he was eating too quickly. The plate was almost empty of food, and he could tell that he would need it as a reason to stall for answers.

"Well... my life before that has kind of been put on hold. But, um, before I became a full-time Titan... I used to be you-know-who's sidekick, my parents owned a very successful business, I used to go to Gotham Prep School... I was a valedictorian of my class and on a lot of sports teams, but I never really cared for it. I'm really more into, well, computers and books."

"Interesting." Arella looked at Tim's plate. "I'm sorry. I forgot how much food boys your age ate. Let me get you some more."

"Thank you, ma'am. It's really good."

Arella stood up from the table and went back to the kitchen. Rachel shook her head at Tim. "Breathe, Boy Wonder. Don't be so nervous; she likes you."

"Sorry." Tim adjusted how he sat so to relax, waiting for her mother to come back to the table. After what seemed like an hour, Arella came back with another plate for Tim, setting it down in front of him.

"Why are you two so quiet? You don't have to change your conversation on my account," she said, again looking at the guest.

"He's just a little shy. He acts completely different in costume." Rachel explained.

"Is that so..." Arella smiled knowingly. "How far have you two been in your relationship physically? Aside from your first date, of course."

Her comment caused Tim to choke on his food and Rachel to cry out, "Mother!"

"I am just curious."

Tim struggled to find a good answer for this, but could only lamely remark, "That was just... a dream, ma'am."

"I would hesitate to call it just a dream... I'm surprised she would think something so openly sexual. I mean, it is normal for a girl of her age, but she has to struggle to keep her emotions in check, as you know."

By now, both teenagers were staring directly at their plates. Tim was shovelling food into his mouth by now and Rachel stared daggers at her mother every now and then. Lamely, again, he said, "I know."

"She must think very highly of you. You've been occupying her thoughts a lot... I never expected her to find love so soon."

Somehow, he found the courage to look her in the eyes again. "I'm not sure what you're getting at, ma'am."

"I think you do know what I am getting at, young man, and while I approve, I am trusting things to you to make sure things do not get too far."

"Huh? What do you mean too far?" Tim asked. He wanted to ask more, but in the back of his mind he knew that the dream was going to end before he could ask her.


End file.
